To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

[Raven25]

This morning I went to a weekly parents/young children swimming session with my DD at a national hotel/leisure club chain. We go most weeks and there’s usually a similar crowd in attendance.

It is predominantly other Mum’s who go, with the odd Dad.

Today, one of the other Mum’s was wearing what I can only describe as a thong, in fact it was more of a g string and barely contained her modesty. My DD pointed at her from the pool when she was walking in the opposite direction and asked where her clothes were. I could tell others in the pool had noticed her and didn’t know what to think.

Everyone else was wearing all in one style costumes or the odd bikini which actually fits.

I found this completely inappropriate given it was a swimming session for toddlers/young children, that outfit was more appropriate for someone on only fans!

On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!

So if my body doesn’t look how you seem it should look I should keep it covered up? Grow up

She was strutting as well as prancing and parading?

Not sure I mentioned anything about being ashamed? Oh no hold on, I definitely didn’t mention anything about being ashamed. That was made up.

Even your husband is embarrased at being seen with you now. I wonder why.
A word of advice, mind your own business. Live and let live, and let the woman wear what she is comfortable with.

It was a question. All questions are made up. So what is wrong with a mother “strutting in a thong” at the pool if there is no shaming involved from you?

No, most cultures have social mores around appropriate clothing.

I do like how the pro-anal-strings posters on this thread are pitching this as a civill liberties issue, rather than proof that women have internalised
misogynist pressure to be sexually appealing at all times to such a degree that there's literally nowhere, even at their child's swimming lesson, that they aren't objectifying themselves from within their own bodies to ensure they are sufficiently arousing to the male gaze.

This is why women break down - this kind of self-policing, where women have been coopted into their own oppression, makes them simultaneously the subject and object of their own gaze. It splits the self.

Devastating really - not only have things not improved since the 80s when I was in my teens, they've got worse.

Life’s too short to give a shit about another persons swimwear. If you don’t like it, nobody’s forcing you to look.

After whom the description 'lunchbox' become popularised? I'd never heard it before 1992, Barcelona, 100m final!

I’m with you OP, and I don’t think you sound jealous in objecting to unnecessary exhibitionism. I can sort of understand the desire to

This!

I agree with you OP. There's a time and a place for revealing swimwear and a children's swim session it is not. I personally find those thong swimsuits gross on everyone to be honest, I don't care how taut and firm their arse is, I just don't want to see it. No jealously involved here, I just can't stand attention seekers.

Sorry pressed too soon - the desire to avoid tan lines if in the sun, but clearly not a factor here. And very few people who wear them seem to have taken an objective look at their rear view to consider whether their bare arse is truly a thing of beauty for others to behold.

My thoughts. I wouldn't be bothered and definitely wouldn't have reported it.

But it's all about what's appropriate to the circumstances.
People seem to agree that minimal swimwear and nudity at the beach is ok; there is some disagreement about swimming pools; probably most of us would not like to see it in restaurants, or on the city street, for example.
I remember a fair bit of a ruckus a couple of years ago when a pair of exhibitionists naturists insisted on strolling around naked in a UK holiday town. AFAICR there was quite a lot of, er, unease on here at news the couple sat on bar stools in a local pub...
It's the environment that matters, some places are never going to be appropriate.
So it boils down to perhaps not making other people feel very uncomfortable if you breach accepted social norms in this regard.
Personally I don't think exhibitionism is ever a good look.
Excuse the double-entendre.😉

All excellent adjectives to describe a confident person.

No, you couldn't see her rectum. Just her buttocks. Don't exaggerate.

Thinking about it - it would feel less weird in many ways if they were completely naked.

The thongs, and all the various straps and hooks and cutaways and near reveals of the bikini tops, chop up the female body into individual parts, to be fetishized and consumed.

At least if she was naked she'd be allowed to be whole.

50% of us have breasts and vulva’s too but that doesn’t make it ok to display them in public.

increasingly I’m seeing pools, especially abroad banning “thong” and “t-back” swimwear.

o/p I’d write to the chain head office. It’s not appropriate.

It was a question based on something I didn’t say, or even think. Plucked out of the air. Ask me another …

This! You might be right that what she was wearing was inappropriate. But, no one, including a child should think it’s ok to make personal comments about anyone. I’d be mortified about that and focus on minding my own business.

Sounds grim. Not sure it can really be policed though.

Yes, but most liberal cultures have discarded the idea of dictating women’s clothing choices on the basis of “modesty”

Wearing a thong swimsuit doesn’t mean a woman has “internalised misogyny” and is doing it for “arousing the male gaze” It also isn’t “oppression” to wear a thong if you feel like it.

Honestly you sound ridiculous. I really couldn’t get this het up over a skimpy bikini.

I have asked you twice before and will ask for the third time, what is wrong with a mother “strutting in a thong” ?
You have clearly disavowed that it has anything to do with being shameful, so what is wrong with it?

Of what an arse. We’ve all got one.