To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

[Raven25]

This morning I went to a weekly parents/young children swimming session with my DD at a national hotel/leisure club chain. We go most weeks and there’s usually a similar crowd in attendance.

It is predominantly other Mum’s who go, with the odd Dad.

Today, one of the other Mum’s was wearing what I can only describe as a thong, in fact it was more of a g string and barely contained her modesty. My DD pointed at her from the pool when she was walking in the opposite direction and asked where her clothes were. I could tell others in the pool had noticed her and didn’t know what to think.

Everyone else was wearing all in one style costumes or the odd bikini which actually fits.

I found this completely inappropriate given it was a swimming session for toddlers/young children, that outfit was more appropriate for someone on only fans!

On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!

Nobody is commenting on the woman’s body, it’s attractiveness etc, it’s completely irrelevant to the discussion. How could anyone be “jealous”. of a random woman with her butt hanging out.

This

I bet the receptionist was laughing at you after you left 😂

YABU…just to be clear.

It's not for me

That said

Mind your own and wind your damn neck in

You complained to the staff!!??

You really have to find an equivalent photo on Google so we can see how underdressed she actually was.

in theory though I agree with you. And people saying you’d see less (or more) at the beach…well why is it ok 👌 n a beach to have your entire arse out but not in town? So weird.

I know people always say it but I am not prudish. I do feel like there should be some common decency though especially in front of children. To be honest I don’t know why swimming costumes are so skimpy anyway. Not like we’re all professional swimmers - what’s the need to be streamlined as we splat about like uncoordinated walruses with our toddlers at the local urine-smelling public pool, it’s it? Why not a shorts all in one instead? You know like instead of knicker shaped swimsuit, shorts shaped at the bottom. So weird. Plus would save having to shave bikini lines (or the embarrassment when you forget)

But OP never said she had a ‘cracking bod’. For all we know she was the size of a small semi detached with enough cellulite to rival the craters on the moon. People have just assumed she has a cracking bod and the OP jealous because she was wearing a thong. It assumes us fatties will cover up more because we are less aesthetically pleasing, where’s the body positivity and empowerment people are harping on about here?

Where did the OP say the woman had a 'cracking bod' though? And even if the woman did have a nice body, why would the OP be jealous of her rather than of other women there with good bodies who were wearing nice swimwear without their arses hanging out? Baffling.

I would have rolled my eyes inwardly but not complained
And
If something is worthy of complaint can you really not just say something directly rather than going to staff?

Do they have a policy?

I know, right? Excruciating.
Unless they have manged to desensitise the, er, anal area.
(Shuders at the thought. I'd have to slather on the Lanacane cream -- contains lidocaine, a topical anaesthetic.)

We need a diagram where we can all mark the point at which it becomes inappropriate!

Where is your personal line on what's ok? a-e.

So what you're saying is that MY ASSUMPTION that the jealousy questions were related to attractiveness is irrelevant but YOUR ASSUMPTION that this woman is doing it for sexual attention is relevant?

Ok good to know thanks.

Saw one like that last year

The kids could not stop laughing at the woman's bum, and I'm not surprised really

I thought “modesty” rules were for countries like Iran.

This style is just normal swimwear in a lot of places. I couldn't care less and don't believe that a small child would see a big difference between a normal bikini and a thong bikini, to the extent that one is normal and one is no clothes. Some people think wearing a one-piece in mixed company is obscene, so careful what you wish for.

I don’t care about this sort of thing on beaches (more space) or in adult settings but I do think it’s not appropriate in places that are aimed at kids/families.

I can’t stand it at Centre Parcs as you end up queuing for a water slide for 45 minutes with your 13 year old boy with a teenage/twenties arse in his face. It’s nasty.

Next OP will be going after the mums who dare to breastfeed at the pool for getting their baps out.

You actually complained?

She may have thought it was appropriate and I don’t imagine she is bothered what anyone else thinks. No different from the range of outfits by the pool or beach on holiday.

I assume those who think it’s perfectly acceptable dress your kids in these bikinis also?

I agree regarding a baby but not a small child, who absolutely will notice the arse on display. And at an age we are teaching them that your private parts are private.

Well there you have it. Someone strutting around in a thong being compared with a woman feeding her baby. Seriously?

This

Of course she did. It wasn't worn for swimming, it was worn for attention

So mothers should be ashamed of their bodies? What’s wrong with strutting in a thong at the pool?

Thong bikinis are everywhere these days- on women of all ages and sizes. I visited a waterfall in Spain and was climbing some steps behind a woman who was wearing one. It was a bit much to be so close to a stranger’s ringpiece with barely any fabric in between.

So I’m not a fan really. If I wanted to look at bare arses, I’d look on the internet or go to a nudist beach.

But I think it’s just the way things are now and nothing to be done about it. I certainly wouldn’t have made a complaint at reception. I’d have just looked the other way and tried to forget about it.