To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

[Raven25]

This morning I went to a weekly parents/young children swimming session with my DD at a national hotel/leisure club chain. We go most weeks and there’s usually a similar crowd in attendance.

It is predominantly other Mum’s who go, with the odd Dad.

Today, one of the other Mum’s was wearing what I can only describe as a thong, in fact it was more of a g string and barely contained her modesty. My DD pointed at her from the pool when she was walking in the opposite direction and asked where her clothes were. I could tell others in the pool had noticed her and didn’t know what to think.

Everyone else was wearing all in one style costumes or the odd bikini which actually fits.

I found this completely inappropriate given it was a swimming session for toddlers/young children, that outfit was more appropriate for someone on only fans!

On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!

As they don’t appear to know the difference between jealousy and envy, they are going to be completely stumped by ‘banal’.

We've just last year had an Olympic games featuring female athletes in several.sports including aquatic sports, gymnastics, and track and field events wearing very skimpy athletic gear, with buttocks hanging out left, right, and centre.

Beaches and public pools are all full of bare female buttocks, in the skimpiest of swim bottoms.

Leggings leaving little to the imagination have been fashionable for years.

Dogs with noticeable haunches are all the rage - corgis, French bulldogs, etc.

I'm surprised the OP hadn't noticed the trend until she went swimming.

Re holiday, assuming you mean somewhere sunny, then I think you’re wrong. A lot of women are obsessed with tanning and wearing something like a thong means they get more of a tan so that is often the reason.

Now wondering if anyone complained about me when I attended my toddlers swimming lesson 10 days overdue with DS2 with terribly fitting bikini as there was no hope of the costume going on and I wasn’t about to buy a bigger size for a couple of weeks. Sounds like I would have had a similar amount of arse out.

The interesting thing being that all serious swimmers wear costumes that come down to their knees.

There was a woman at my local leisure centre wearing one of these last week. I admit that my thoughts were initially somewhere between envy and incredulity at first, before settling on mildly amused as she repeatedly attempted to manipulate it into a more comfortable position as her arse kept swallowing it as she walked. Anyone who can tolerate that level of discomfort in the name of style and fashion has another level of endurance. I didn't complain, but I did inwardly congratulate myself on the undoubted comparative comfort of my boyleg swimming constume, which I can wear without needing a Brazilian.

Did she have bacon and eggs hanging out of her vagina? Didn’t think so. Behave? Teach your child that bodies all look different. Stop being that person.

I did not say there was anything wrong with it as such. It’s just not remotely comparable to breastfeeding. I’m super flattered that my opinion matters so much to you.

Who would I silently judge if tacky swimwear was outlawed at my local pool?

I mean, in reality, absolutely that would be very weird to witness in person at a children's swim session indoors.

However this is the internet, so any observation will interpreted in the most extreme way possible, in either direction.

Pool staff are not going to police bums. I'd never have complained but I'd probably have mentioned it to a mate or DH later on, because indeed, it would be out of the ordinary to see someone with their bum out someplace which was not a blazing hot beach somewhere tropical.

Oh she was prancing!

Is that like how all women in the Daily Star are flaunting their bodies?

Do toddlers not know that everyone has a bottom?

What are you on "showing everyone what she had for breakfast". What did she have? Bagel? Breakfast show in the belly so I hope the menz were all covered up?

Your husband might love your figure but he's clearly not attracted to your attitude.

I'd have sorry for her, that she didn't have the dignity/self worth/judgement to wear something more appropriate, but beyond that I can't say it would bother me and I doubt my child would have noticed for more than a brief moment

I'd be disappointed in the pool for allowing the things,.but not sure I could have worked up the energy to complain. She's mainly just making a fool of herself

Your language also makes you sound like an incel.

Where's the body shaming? Op didn't comment on the lady's body, just the clothing.

I expect very few mumsnetters would be happy if a man rocked up to a parent and toddler swim session in a mankini

@Redpeach Its your own internalised shame. It's just a body.

So you'd be fine with a man at the pool in a mankini? Or a posing pouch?

What a childish conclusion to jump to. If having a nice body means I need to show 99.9% of it others and make people inc. children feel uncomfortable then no thanks!

I agree entirely OP. It’s revolting and has been normalised by porn. Even your DC was horrified! Imagine if a bloke wandered round the pool with his cock & balls dangling out

Would you be as equally ‘cool’ and laid back if it was a man wearing a thong with his penis hanging in a pouch? I somehow doubt it……

I’ve been here too long, because all I could think of is, do you say to her ‘your minge!’

It’s a horrible saying, but I don’t think it’s referring to her vagina.

I find it interesting how people here are praising the attitudes of certain European countries in regards to nudity and body shaming.

They are two separate things and I wouldn't praise these countries regarding the latter.

Yes, they may be more accepting of nudity, but some of those European countries mentioned are the worst for actual body shaming.

People say it is just more honest... But I find it downright rude when people think it's okay to tell you that you're fat or your teeth are crooked or any number of physical "observations".

Okay, they may not complain about seeing someone's butt cheeks, but they certainly won't hold back from telling you if they think said butt cheeks are too large.

There's benefits to both cultures and we could all learn from each other I think.

Can't be bothered to read through the whole thread but-

Would those who would fight for the right for women to wear thongs to the pool feel the same about seeing men's arse cheeks hanging out in front of them/ their children?

Genuinely interested.

Edited as autocorrect changed arse to arsenal

Why would I care? How else would a penis be? It wouldn't be hanging at me. It would be hanging because that what penises do. And the analogy only works if the lady's vulva was hanging out.

It wasn't. It was a bottom. Everyone has one. So no, i wouldnt care if a man was in a thong.

And no, I wouldn't care about a speedo or a mankini either. Pools are full of chlorine, as long as it isn't touching me, it's no more or less sanitary behind some fabric.

And the lady in question was "prancing" on a lounger. Lord knows how OP saw so much from the pool angle.

She didn't have it out for her own comfort did she?

She's knows it's seen as attractive and sexual, of course she does.

I don't want to see anyone's arse hanging out while swimming. Or anywhere really. Men or women's.

It's not bloody empowering, the total opposite. Anyone who doesn't realise that is insane.