To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

[Raven25]

This morning I went to a weekly parents/young children swimming session with my DD at a national hotel/leisure club chain. We go most weeks and there’s usually a similar crowd in attendance.

It is predominantly other Mum’s who go, with the odd Dad.

Today, one of the other Mum’s was wearing what I can only describe as a thong, in fact it was more of a g string and barely contained her modesty. My DD pointed at her from the pool when she was walking in the opposite direction and asked where her clothes were. I could tell others in the pool had noticed her and didn’t know what to think.

Everyone else was wearing all in one style costumes or the odd bikini which actually fits.

I found this completely inappropriate given it was a swimming session for toddlers/young children, that outfit was more appropriate for someone on only fans!

On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!

Thats down to Hq,

Maybe just lighten up, let people live and not give a fuck what anyone else is wearing? Honestly complaining to the staff is like something my Granny who was born in the 1920s would have done.

Such a shame. Bodies are beautiful. That's all I'd be teaching my kid about the event. Obviously my own thoughts could be a bit different, but it's got nothing to do with kids being present. Kind of weird to apply adult responses to children.

I agree @Phonicshaskilledmeoff the human naked body is normal and natural, a thong or a bikini with cutouts is intended to be sexual and often involves hair removal too, especially those awful thin on the vulva ones. I don't mind my kids seeing people stripped off in the changing area in full nudity but i don't like them to see sexual exhibitionism, which a thong is (IMO)

Lots of young women wear these at my gym. Personally it doesn't bother me. It's no worse than you see on a public beach with plenty of young children about.

Exactly.

At which point on the arse cheek would you consider something inappropriate? 3 inches from the bum crack? 2 inches? Who would measure? Surely you can see some practical issues with enforcement, leaving aside your perception of what is decent.

I wouldn't have complained. I've seen similar and thought it was inappropriate, but there are no rules that men or women can't wear thong costumes.

So to complain and take it to head office is OTT.

These swimmers are the norm now. They’re not for me, but they are very much mainstream. I imagine they’re as shocking to women my age as the swimmers I wore 25 years ago were to my grandmother.

I really dislike the phrasing that implies you could ‘see what she had for breakfast’. It’s illogical, vulgar and comes from a place of deep misogyny. The crack about only fans is also extremely unpleasant.

It’s totally attention seeking and unnecessary to have your bum cheeks out at a municipal swimming pool. I think you are reasonable to ask if there are standards in the etiquette.

I hate the word "inappropriate" in this context. That's for wearing a coat in winter or flip flops up Ben Nevis. A swimsuit in a swimming pool is fine.

If you had discreetly emailed the place to ask them to consider their policy then I would have been alright with that. But to approach the lifeguards about a particular woman who hadn't broken any rules? No, that's rude.

As for people complaining about seeing too much, you're all slopping about in labia and testicle water whenever you get in. It's a big shared bath.

How do you know she was prancing and not just walking!

What’s the difference between a g string and a thong?

I wouldn’t complain, as it wouldn’t bother me. I’m not sure I’d particularly think about it. Different degrees of swimwear are just that. If my DC asked why someone was naked, I’d explain they’re not.

But if you politely and discretely complained, I guess it’s not that big a deal, though looks like it didn’t breach any dress code.

I don't agree with the OP but calling another poster Karen is not on.

I wouldn’t have complained but I do think it’s a bit grim to have to see the majority of someone’s arse cheeks on display, whilst their arse crack munches up the string of the thong. I don’t know why people do this - particularly at a little kid and parent swim thing. There are a lot of people defending this mum and I wonder whether they themselves took their toddler swimming with their entire arse cheeks out? I bet not.

100% Awful misogynistic term.

OP is coming across badly, women shaming.

Some self reflection might be useful.

I'm 45 and I remember on the beaches of my childhood all the thong bikinis and topless women. People seem more offended now!

You sound abit jealous… if staff seen her like that and thought it was okay then it’s okay isn’t it? Bikinis don’t really cover much anyway so what the difference in showing a bit of extra butt cheek?

You sound wel jel.

Yawn!

I agree with the OP. Trouble is, it is designed to be sexualised, nudity would be less confronting in a way.

It is really difficult to buy a swimsuit or tankini that allows you to just swim without fear of a boob popping out or showing far more of your bum than you'd like.

Swimming is swimming, it is a leisure and fitness activity and life skill we teach our DC. It would be nice to be able to do that without it having to be an arena for body positivity that we are obliged to 'celebrate'.

they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was

Could you see her vulva?

If not, YABU.