To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

[Raven25]

This morning I went to a weekly parents/young children swimming session with my DD at a national hotel/leisure club chain. We go most weeks and there’s usually a similar crowd in attendance.

It is predominantly other Mum’s who go, with the odd Dad.

Today, one of the other Mum’s was wearing what I can only describe as a thong, in fact it was more of a g string and barely contained her modesty. My DD pointed at her from the pool when she was walking in the opposite direction and asked where her clothes were. I could tell others in the pool had noticed her and didn’t know what to think.

Everyone else was wearing all in one style costumes or the odd bikini which actually fits.

I found this completely inappropriate given it was a swimming session for toddlers/young children, that outfit was more appropriate for someone on only fans!

On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!

I do find it highly unlikely someone is physically more comfortable in a string bikini than normal bottoms.

Maybe she means she's comfortable being an exhibitionist

I'm with you OP...
There's a time and a place...

This has bought up a memory of seeing Peter Stringfellow strutting around wearing a G string..
Wonder if peoples thoughts would still be the same if it had been someone of his sex/age walking around their local pool ...

Ageism doesn't make the body shaming any more acceptable.

I think its a bit much. Equally doesn't sound like a big deal either.

I think you need to look up the definition “honey” its definition exhibitionist behaviour. It’s rank.

If this is the biggest annoyance you have 😂

However in response no I couldn't get wound up about it and I'm with your DH.
I'd be embarrassed walking back in too

What's the difference between a bum cheek and any other body part? What makes a bum cheek so special that it must be covered?

what is it then?

Hard no from me. I don't see arses hanging out, shorts up your arse with cheeks visible, those scrunch bum leggings, leggings pulled up to your armpits to display camel toes, tits falling out and similar stuff as 'empowering'. You're free to do so and to teach it to your kids, but I don't.

I see it as vulgar, desperate, gross, pathetic and attention seeking. And I'm not going to apologize for it. All the above attire is not 'comfy', what's 'comfy' about jean shorts halfway up your arse? It's not good looking, it's not even sexy. It's the lowest form of attention seeking.

I have the body to show off, yet I don't walk around trusting my pretty much naked arse to people's faces in toddler's swim class (or anywhere else). It's gross. And yes, I do judge, absolutely. I'd also judge a man, if he showed up in Borat's swimsuit, just as hard.

Have some self respect, you're not a piece of meat. You don't need to have all your goods on show publically to be valued. That's what I'm teaching my kids. IDGAF if that's 'misoginystic' or some such.

And no, if some woman is prancing around kiddie's pool with her butt on display - I'd definitely comment and see no problem if my kids do. You want attention? You got it. Does she have a right to dress however she wants? Oh absolutely. Just as I do have a right to tell her what I think of it.

@Raven25
If there wasn't a sign up asking all patrons to have their buttocks fully covered by their swimwear, then you were being very unreasonable to complain. What others choose to wear when swimming is none of your business unless it's in contravention of pool rules.

You are entitled to your own choices and to your opinion of other peoples choices, but you are not entitled to complain, or stare, or make remarks to the person.

You shouldn't make remarks to your child either. You should gently teach your child that its not ok to point out other people's sartorial choices or body parts or to make remarks about them. As your child gets older, the message will sink in.

Seriously you complained about seeing a bum cheek in a cossie at a pool

if walking round sains fair enough

but it was a swimming pool

Not unreasonable to think it's a bit too revealing for a parent and child swim session (and I quite like a high cut Brazilian bikini bottom!) but unreasonable to say anything I think, and even weirder if you are actually going to follow up on your complaint.

Also using the word "prancing" and talking about "showing everyone what you had for breakfast" is a totally gross way to speak about someone and makes you sound really nasty. Also your kid thinking it's ok to point and comment on people's looks - clearly picking that up from you, it's not the flex you think it is to mention what your daughter said. Id be ashamed if my kids did that. I brought them up not to comment on people's appearances.

"You sound jealous" - the bastion comment of the "liberals" who accept anything to be "in"

@MeliusMoriQuamServire
I see it as vulgar and attention seeking too. I don't see it as empowering - in fact the opposite in many respects. But in light of a long, long history of double standards and slut shaming through the ages, I have a problem with the idea that women's and girls' attire is a fair target for comment.

It may have been inappropriate for a toddler session but this woman may have been a hotel guest who wanted to make use of the facilities she has paid for.

So if bum cheeks are so non sexual, would you be happy for a 14 year old daughter to wear a thong bikini to the local pool

God there been a lot of these thong bikini threads on here recently.

You need to teach your kid some manners firstly. Pointing at someone firstly and then calling them out on their appearance. You both sound lovely- not.

Do... people eat their own bums? Not for breakfast, surely??

i mean I might have a look and me and dh/dc might have a little giggle but no it wouldn’t offend me.

how wonderful women can wear what they want here 🙌

You can't expect a hotel to tell a guest (who has paid a lot of money for accomidation) that they can't use the pool because some mums think their costume is inappropriate. It is a hotel, not a community sports facility.

I think she means she gets weetabix on her cheeks.

To be honest I'd just briefly feel embarrassed for her and then get on with the activity. Never in a million years would I complain though.

This. “We don’t make personal comments, it might hurt someone’s feelings” is a lesson I’ve taught my kids from day dot.

OP you sound extremely judgemental, uptight and rather prudish. Just try to live and let live, eh? Who made you the butt cheek police?

I prefer the title Bottom Monitor