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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

558 replies

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 13:48

This morning I went to a weekly parents/young children swimming session with my DD at a national hotel/leisure club chain. We go most weeks and there’s usually a similar crowd in attendance.

It is predominantly other Mum’s who go, with the odd Dad.

Today, one of the other Mum’s was wearing what I can only describe as a thong, in fact it was more of a g string and barely contained her modesty. My DD pointed at her from the pool when she was walking in the opposite direction and asked where her clothes were. I could tell others in the pool had noticed her and didn’t know what to think.

Everyone else was wearing all in one style costumes or the odd bikini which actually fits.

I found this completely inappropriate given it was a swimming session for toddlers/young children, that outfit was more appropriate for someone on only fans!

On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
juicylipbalm · 22/03/2025 16:46

RobertaFirmino · 22/03/2025 16:41

Is it? I may not agree with OP but if there are to be cheek coverage standards then an infographic is the perfect way to display them.

If the sports centre had asked for ideas on how this can be displayed then yeah, sure. But they haven’t? The OP is taking it upon herself to impress that on head office. That is what’s weird.

BlitheSpirits · 22/03/2025 16:46

I wouldnt have complained on the grounds that it is for the operating company to set the dresscode, not me.

BrandNewHeretic · 22/03/2025 16:46

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 13:51

She spent more time prancing around by the loungers on the side of the pool than actually in it, like it was some sort of parade..

Of course she did 😂

CunningLinguist1 · 22/03/2025 16:47

JessK98 · 22/03/2025 15:32

@Raven25 I believe you are referring to me. My friend who is a member here sent me this link and I’ve had to sign up to respond.

Village Gym in Basingstoke?

You didn’t take issue with some of the other parents wearing next to nothing, is that because they were bigger than I am? I wear what is comfortable for me, and I wasn’t prancing around at all, I was sorting out a water bottle and thought I’d left something in the changing rooms.

It’s a bit insulting that you decided to complain, but the girls on the reception are lovely and I’m glad they didn’t take any notice.

Feel free to say hi to me if you are going next Saturday xx

Oooh - this took a nice turn :) Wonder if OP will have the balls to reply.

I am sorry there’s this thread about you. I hope you’re seeing that the vast majority disagree w the OP.

More power to you & keep rocking whatever you want to rock!!

Sapienza · 22/03/2025 16:47

*On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!*

Do not compound this embarrassment by writing a letter of complaint.

I sincerely hope that you are not members of this 'national hotel/leisure club chain.'

CorbyTrouserPress · 22/03/2025 16:48

CunningLinguist1 · 22/03/2025 16:47

Oooh - this took a nice turn :) Wonder if OP will have the balls to reply.

I am sorry there’s this thread about you. I hope you’re seeing that the vast majority disagree w the OP.

More power to you & keep rocking whatever you want to rock!!

She’ll have to remember to name change first

CurlewKate · 22/03/2025 16:50

I wouldn’t have complained but I wouldn’t like it either. But I HATE it when I end up on the same side as people who use the term “pearl clutching” or leap to “you must be jealous” though.

LucyBee0ox · 22/03/2025 16:51

@JessK98

Why are you wearing a thong for a swimming lesson for kids?

Boomer55 · 22/03/2025 16:51

I might have thought "jeez, she's desperate" and rolled my eyes, but I wouldn't have bothered complaining. 🤷‍♀️

RUDaisy · 22/03/2025 16:51

LazyArsedMagician · 22/03/2025 15:55

So what you're saying is that MY ASSUMPTION that the jealousy questions were related to attractiveness is irrelevant but YOUR ASSUMPTION that this woman is doing it for sexual attention is relevant?

Ok good to know thanks.

No idea what you’re on about. All I’m saying is I’m not jealous of any woman showing g off her arse to Joe Public 🤷‍♀️ 😜 jealousy is a ridiculous accusation. Stupid and cheap.

Lovelynames123 · 22/03/2025 16:51

Personally, I wear a tiny bikini on holiday, although not a thong, but I wear a full swimming costume in this country to go swimming. In fact I took my dds away with friends to a cabin with a hot tub and wore my full swimming costume as I thought it was more appropriate.

YANBU to raise an eyebrow, completely inappropriate but also YABU to complain as she was wearing swimwear

juicylipbalm · 22/03/2025 16:52

CorbyTrouserPress · 22/03/2025 16:48

She’ll have to remember to name change first

Yeah to be honest I do doubt the legitimacy of this thread as it’s identical to one a few weeks ago that got people very wound up. Also the idea that the front desk have somehow got this thread back to the offending buttock displayer has jumped the shark a bit.

Iloveyoubut · 22/03/2025 16:52

This reply has been deleted

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CunningLinguist1 · 22/03/2025 16:53

LucyBee0ox · 22/03/2025 16:51

@JessK98

Why are you wearing a thong for a swimming lesson for kids?

Asked & answered: she wears what she’s comfortable with.
As she is entirely within her right to.

LucyBee0ox · 22/03/2025 16:54

RUDaisy · 22/03/2025 16:51

No idea what you’re on about. All I’m saying is I’m not jealous of any woman showing g off her arse to Joe Public 🤷‍♀️ 😜 jealousy is a ridiculous accusation. Stupid and cheap.

How is it anything to do with jealously? It’s just gross. I‘d find it just as disgusting and inappropriate if a man had his hairy arse out wearing a thong.

Flowersinthehood · 22/03/2025 16:54

I’d love to know how many of the pearl clutchers on here would complain about sumo wrestlers. Can anyone tell me the difference? Good on her, we’ve all done what men want for too long.

thestudio · 22/03/2025 16:55

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 22/03/2025 16:28

@thestudio
Obviously women are buying thongs because they like them. If they didn’t like them, they wouldn’t be buying them. It’s not like they are the only swimwear on offer. Oh and internalised social pressure exists with and without capitalism, at least I am not so foolish as you to drop asinine comments about capitalism that demonstrate you have no idea what you are talking about.

Edited

If you read it again, I used capitalism as an examplar of the fact that systems require internalised social pressure to sustain themselves. I didn't say it was special.

And as I said previously, but you must have missed: people don't just 'like' things all at the same time out of the blue (which is what 'in a vacuum' means).

Smallmercies · 22/03/2025 16:55

I don't like looking at people with their prejudices hanging out for all to see, but sadly they're everywhere 🤷‍♀️. I wish you'd keep them covered.

Magnastorm · 22/03/2025 16:55

Can absolutely guarantee the people you complained about started taking the piss as soon as you were out of earshot.

It's just a bit of arse. Get a grip.

Iloveyoubut · 22/03/2025 16:56

This reply has been deleted

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LucyBee0ox · 22/03/2025 16:56

CunningLinguist1 · 22/03/2025 16:53

Asked & answered: she wears what she’s comfortable with.
As she is entirely within her right to.

Right you you’d be fine with a man wearing a thong with his hairy arse out? Why should everyone else have to deal with this exhibitionist? Why not just post your arse on Instagram if you want attention instead of going to a toddler swimming group?

Smallmercies · 22/03/2025 16:58

LucyBee0ox · 22/03/2025 16:56

Right you you’d be fine with a man wearing a thong with his hairy arse out? Why should everyone else have to deal with this exhibitionist? Why not just post your arse on Instagram if you want attention instead of going to a toddler swimming group?

Presumably she has a toddler.

moonsunandstars · 22/03/2025 17:00

I really don't understand why you took time out of your day to complain about this.

Was she quite good-looking and you were a bit jealous?

2 years ago I was a regular swimmer at our David Lloyds Club.

There were plenty of women in thongs, which surprised me a first.

I don't find it particularly attractive, but live and let live I guess.....

Upstartled · 22/03/2025 17:00

LucyBee0ox · 22/03/2025 16:56

Right you you’d be fine with a man wearing a thong with his hairy arse out? Why should everyone else have to deal with this exhibitionist? Why not just post your arse on Instagram if you want attention instead of going to a toddler swimming group?

Even if it were Chris Hemsworth with an arse of smooth steel, I'd rather it was tucked in to a secure pair of trunks at the local baths

CunningLinguist1 · 22/03/2025 17:00

LucyBee0ox · 22/03/2025 16:56

Right you you’d be fine with a man wearing a thong with his hairy arse out? Why should everyone else have to deal with this exhibitionist? Why not just post your arse on Instagram if you want attention instead of going to a toddler swimming group?

Sure!
it’s none of my business.
It’s also not an exhibitionist - you need to look that up, honey.
Bai!

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