To think the level of inconsideration around is staggering?

[CoralCrab]

It feels like people have become more self-absorbed and less aware of how their actions affect others. Whether it’s blasting music in public, not cleaning up after themselves, ignoring basic etiquette, or just a general lack of courtesy, I’m constantly noticing behaviour that seems thoughtless at best and outright rude at worst.

I don’t know if this has always been the case and I’m just more aware of it now or if people really have become more inconsiderate over time. AIBU to think that basic respect and awareness of others are disappearing? Or is this just normal and I need to stop expecting better?

Fear of confronting anyone in case it turns nasty or violent means the thug like behaviour continues . But what is the solution ? No police patrols, no respect for any authority figures anyway . I find me putting on some very loud Country & Western music often makes offenders move away from me. They can't very well ask me to turn it down or off can they ?

Of course people did it in the past, I don't think anyone would dispute that, there have always been inconsiderate people. The point is that it is so much more prevalent than it ever was and people also have new ways to be annoying. Society as a whole seems to be dumbing down and more entitled.

My sister and I (senior citizens) were travelling on a busy train today. Only two seats were available and a boy about 18 years of age took one and I insisted my sister take the other. The young woman, sitting opposite my sister and the boy offered her seat to me but I politely declined (loved how uncomfortably embarrassed this made the boy) . Then a young man, twenty ish, sitting at a window seat, stepped over the middle aged man on the passage seat next to him, and offered his seat to me (also making this man look uncomfortably embarrassed). Chivalry, good manners and consideration are still very evident in many young people and some of the rudest and most selfish are not so young! Good manners are such an attractive quality.

It started for me in Covid when the selfish lot started filling trolleys with toilet paper. It carried on and now people park wherever they like , Do what they want and act like the world owes them a favour. Most days I say “people are twats” because of something I’ve seen 🤣

To be fair, the younger you are the more fit and healthy you are (hopefully!). I’m 53, but look younger, and I’d be pretty miffed if someone 30 years my junior kept their seat while I gave up mine. I would do it, but I wouldn’t be best impressed with that younger person.

One of the causes of inconsideration for others is when out and about many/most people have ear buds in, either talking on the phone or listening to music etc.

I think it makes people so unaware of what's going on around them - they're in their own little bubble.

It's also on TV, adverts with spoilt brats, which I assume is meant to be funny, but isn't, it's just disrespectful and kids then copy.

Seriously, that On The Beach advert makes me never want to book with them.

This is all so true. Also when you say good morning to people and they just smile can people not respond anymore x

Yes definitely

Everything PP have said but in particular the evolution of this to the promotion of “outdoor living” ie use your garden as if it’s a room in your house.

”outdoor cinemas”, hot tubs, garden bars are fine if you have a big garden and neighbours half a mile away

however I generally see these things in ppl who live check by jowl with others. No chance of sitting peacefully in your garden in summer when 2 doors down they’re watching their massive out door Tv screen from the hot tub

Yes, and if there is more than one of them, they tend to spread out and take up the whole pavement, so nobody can overtake them at all except by walking in the road.

The explosion of video/music/shouting on phones in public spaces is the most astonishing for me. I remember back in the day when I first got a mobile, I was about 25. I used to get the bus to work and back and if anyone rang me while on the bus I used to whisper down the phone "I'm on the bus, I'll call you back when I get home". I would see other people doing the same. Does anyone else remember this? Circa late 90's.

Absolutely. I'd pay extra to avoid them.

I think the worst thing I've ever seen was when we were on holiday in Spain. Being incredibly hot, I decided I would take a dip in the pool to cool off, only to have my husband say, 'Oh, no you're not'. He nodded towards the pool where two women were basically using the pool as a bidet to clean up their babies. Totally, utterly gross.

I think that a lot of these trends in anti-social behaviour were already underway, but the Covid regime massively accelerated them. Habits form quickly (six weeks?), and people basically had two years to get into the habit of only thinking about themselves, their inner circle and their immediate environment. The official lingo employed during the regime also encouraged people to see themselves as self-contained units, (who ought to be) cut off from other people and their surroundings: "bubble", "[anti-]social distancing", etc. It was a deeply anti-social movement, and we are still witnessing the repercussions of this.

But the main driver of this shift in social behaviour is clearly the "smart"phone, which enables people to move around the world in their own "bubble", oblivious to the real world around them. It's easy to imagine an actual transparent bubble growing up from the phone to envelop them. The most extreme demonstration of this self-absorption is when these lost souls almost or actually bump into you as they shuffle about. Tragic.

I think it helps if the considerate people notify the suitable departments and places. Sometimes the council or other organization is already aware, like in this case, but it helps their case the more people contact them about it.

It also helps if you notice a typical time for the bikers to present; then you can tell them that's when they're likely to see them in action and do something about it.

Maybe councils know of items that can block off their access that we wouldn't think about right away. They won't be the only council with such a problem.

I think sometimes there is a bit of a shame about feedback or complaints, lest anyone is considered a Hyacinth Bucket type. But the shame keeps the good people silent, while the others go about their way, with noise and destruction and inconsideration. They are the unreasonable ones.

As a previous poster said we're now on third generation families where they've never been taught manners or consideration, their DC will be exactly the same because they have no decent role models. As a child I wasn't allowed to drop litter or annoy the neighbours, now parents just think their DC should drop rubbish where they stand and God help the neighbour who complains about the noisy kids next door.

All those saying people like bus drivers, cafe staff, should step up and say something … the problem is that they are as powerless as the other customers because we are rapidly moving towards a state where authority - because I’m a copper, because it’s my job to collect tickets, because I’m paid to manage this area … - has lost its power. People now in the UK are learning the USA mindset of arguing back to authority figures, ignoring or attacking them. So expecting “the driver” or “the manager” to have any agency or control is not realistic. We’re all being dragged to operate at and tolerate the most selfish. Selflessness, caring for your community, doing stuff because it’s the right thing even though it’s not in your personal best interests, is laughably weak now

And no back-up from police or security to enforce it

Agree with this @insomniaclife - authority figures have been completely delegitimised and rendered useless, from the park keeper to the train guard.

I reckon that Charlie Says could convert nicely into Tik Toks and Youtube Shorts

How very true

Yes!!
I have one neighbour who starts messing around with his car engine at 2/3am at least once a week

Another neighbour will barbecue half a pig in the middle of the cul de sac, he’s from a different country and boy they can party 😂

I definitely think we need to bring Keep Britain Tidy back.

I am a volunteer litter picker and it never ever ends. From one day to the next we are picking the same stretches.

I think there's not enough shame now. I know the parenting experts say you can't shame children into good behaviour etc but if I thought I had inconvenienced an adult I would have been mortified as a child. Now they don't care. People are definitely more selfish now & inconsiderate. I will say though, I think life generally is really difficult for a lot of people now & I would imagine it's hard to be kind and considerate when you are starving & can't put your heating on.