To think the level of inconsideration around is staggering?

[CoralCrab]

It feels like people have become more self-absorbed and less aware of how their actions affect others. Whether it’s blasting music in public, not cleaning up after themselves, ignoring basic etiquette, or just a general lack of courtesy, I’m constantly noticing behaviour that seems thoughtless at best and outright rude at worst.

I don’t know if this has always been the case and I’m just more aware of it now or if people really have become more inconsiderate over time. AIBU to think that basic respect and awareness of others are disappearing? Or is this just normal and I need to stop expecting better?

It didn’t start with Covid it started with the Brexit referendum. People thought they could get rid of brown people “get OUR country back” and didn’t listen to the younger generations about their freedoms to work, study, move around the EU or just trade smoothly.

And what’s happened? We didn’t get rid of brown people, and everything else is worse but hey “project fear” you know.

Lockdown was to protect the same older people so they didn’t die on trolleys drowning in their own lung fluids, the effects on the young, their education and blossoming independence has been huge. But many did it at the time because it was socially the right thing to do to protect the vulnerable.

And now the older ones are complaining about a bit of music or a conversation on public transport saying that the youngsters are the selfish ones.

Really?

Ours teens are lovely but we tell them, the oldies had lockdown and Brexit, they’ve had plenty it’s your turn now.

It’s not the young who are collectively socially selfish.

Saw this on Gogglebox and surprised it was actually picked up as such is sadly now the norm.
Kids speaking to their parent disrespectfully, and parents can't say a thing as they've brought them up this way.
The gentle parenting catches up, I see it all the time when out, adult children allowing their own children to talk to grandparents as if they're dim.

https://metro.co.uk/2025/03/14/gogglebox-viewers-shocked-star-swears-mum-disgraceful-exchange-22731734/?dicbo=v2-W5cvzhq&ico=outbrain_mid

Sorry, this doesn't make sense, the people OP and other posters describe aren't just the young, it's all ages and all walks of life.
Covid or Brexit doesn't excuse bad behaviour. People can have "their time" without being rude.

Most younger people seem to walk around public places with ear phones in now so it’s not surprising they are oblivious to other people and what’s happening around them.

Ours teens are lovely but we tell them, the oldies had lockdown and Brexit, they’ve had plenty it’s your turn now.

That's a very strange, logic-free thing to tell your teens. 'Oldies' had lockdown? You do realise that thousands of old people died alone without being able to see their families because of lockdown? And that millions of 'oldies' voted remain? What 'plenty' did these 'oldies' have that justifies teaching kids to be selfish and inconsiderate? What a bizarre mindset.

Mind do - because they are ND struggle with much higher ambient noise levels and inconsiderate behavior so now have headphones on to cope.

DH has followed them with this on public transport and frankly I may well have to.

It doesn't render our eyes useless - and I'm often told how polite our kids are - so I don't think they are oblivious but often overwhelmed and in need of visible cruches to cope with it.

I also don't think it's a teen problem but all age groups one.

I’ve travelled up and down the country a few times recently -everyone polite,helpful,friendly -all ages.

Until you’re older, what you won’t realise is that oldies have some handicaps that aren’t immediately visible. They may be are less stable on their feet, less adept at moving aside when bent on a particular path on a pavement.

You become aware of your frailties, of not falling off a pavement so are more likely to hold a line.

They will have less spatial awareness given their hearing and eyesight may be compromised.

So accept that it’s not always selfish entitlement on their part.

Yes, also the reluctance of us to actually say anything.

Up thread, a poster described sitting in a doctor's small waiting room with another woman, while a third was behaving badly. Th poster described the two others giving her looks but surely it would have been better to tell her off.

All this looking-it does no good with these sub social idiots.

Yes, it is often because of the risk of physical violence being doled out-and that's a reasonable fear-but how did it get to this.

People used to know that if they behaved like these examples, a whole load of people would turn on them and they might be the one getting the literal kick up the arse.

That stopped, when all this 'don't judge' nonsense came out, coupled with the idea of telling a child off as terribly wrong.

Of course this has now filtered through and it's why one shit, on a bus, with 20 other people can do as he wants because we are frightened of telling him off. If the 20 others joined if if he wouldn't comply and bundled him off the bus, he would think on next time.

Every time someone says, 'ban the word naughty', 'gentle parenting' 'it's only a snapshot of someone's life, so don't judge' and a whole host of other crap-often declared on Mumsnet every day, then know that person is actively setting out to allow the vandals and barbarians free reign.

We need to get back to saying,'you are acting against the norm' and 'the rights of the many outrank the rights of the few' and 'there is only one correct way to behave' before any of it will start to change.

There is a woman in my train having a shrieking row with someone on the phone, she’s a carriage down and I can still hear her. Why no one and the same carriage hadn’t asked her to shut the fuck up I don’t know.

Probably terrified of the not insubstantial risk of being assualted or at least verbally battered if they do speak up.

About 20 years ago I was in a busy shoe shop on a Saturday. A visibly heavy pregnant woman politely asked a boy (about 10ish?) to move off a seat so she could try some shoes on. The boy, to his credit quietly obliged. His mother stormed over "HOW DARE YOU ASK MY CHILD TO MOVE!!!" F'ING THIS, F'ING THAT, RANT, RANT, RANT. It was an absolute torrent of rage and foul language. The whole shop froze in stunned silence. Before anyone could say anything, fortunately she grabbed her son and stormed out; it was a relief that she hadn't physically lashed out too.

What a lesson to teach your child. He's probably a father now.

It was rare then, but the risk of encountering someone about to explode with rage when faced with a reasonable request has gone up.
And that's not an attractive gamble in an enclosed public space.

I suggested that - at least temporarily - big companies need to hire more staff; I totally understand that it is difficult to deal with a group of customers when you're one person. The other aspect is that for chain coffee shops and restaurants etc, it is very important that the management and the bosses stand behind those dealing with the customers, and don't cave in because of online reviews. Often it's blackmail - "do what I say, however unreasonable that is, or I'll give you zero stars".

It is important then to have customer service staff who answers to these replies factually and calmly. Those who are reading it will draw their conclusions.

It could have a positive effect in that the reasonable customers will relax, will return (if they left because of fellow customers) or seek out those locations in the first place.

I try to read reviews beforehand and I try to distinguish between genuinely negative reviews and those where it's clear the customer had mismatched expectations ("was at McDonalds in the city centre, they did not use Wedgwood porcelain and no-one held the doors open for me once I arrived, zero stars").

It makes a big difference to me how the company or the owners reply, too. When it's factual and calm, and you can see they have a grasp on their business and know what atmosphere they want to create, that is very positive in my view and those are places I would seek out.

Thus I'm hoping that the return of the reasonable customers would compensate for the lack of business from the others; but overall I think it's possible to change the culture so that the others behave better, too.

Yes, I agree with this. My balance is shocking now and I have hypermobility and poor eyesight, even with glasses, so I can't just jump to one side or go into the road or onto grass like I used to.

What is this about?

@528htzI completely agree. I could cry too. I feel so sad for this country and for the children and grandchildren to follow. I can't see an end to it.

@frozendaisy So you admit that you are turning one generation against another? What good do you this will do?

@Nameychangingtonwell said!

@McSilksonnow I thought that hand washing and not breathing over others to slow down the spread of COVID infection was caring about other people?

@Tiredalwaystiredhaha! That On The Beach advert is all the reasons why I don't want to go where those people are too😱

I agree , people have become more inconsiderate and it’s basically antisocial behaviour. I’m fed up with other people’s noise and selfishness

I totally agree with everything you say here and also wish we could DNA for litter louts. Having been abroad recently in holiday I've really noticed how dirty and grimy it is here including airports. I feel so angry at people's lack of respect for the environment and treat the countryside like their playground leaving litter, tents etc. I'm not proud to live here sadly.

No not really just for our teens to ignore the older generation if they are make judgements about them.

It's the young that have to live through the mess the older generations have made. And what a mess it is.

We are aware we only whisper "ok boomer" to each other we don't actually say it to anyone's face. It's just code so they know we know they are fine and it's the boomer's problem.

What mess ?

is that every single “boomer”?

I was brought up to be considerate of others especially in public places

I’m Gen X

So you encourage your children to whisper insults based on other people's protected characteristics? Yeah that's not better.

You're objecting to others making judgements of teenagers,while making judgements of others because they are old.

Replace boomer with black or disabled and then tell me you aren’t bringing up your children to be profoundly unpleasant and discriminatory.