What's everyone's favourite joke

[Anon9898]

My boys have none uniform day and have to go to school with a joke?

What is everyone's favourite CLEAN joke

My 8yo DS’s current favourites:

”What do you call a cow with no legs?”

Ground beef. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂😂

And:

”Why did the chicken cross the road?”

in style of a rooster squark “BECAAAAAAAAAUSE*

Both silly.
Both illicit belly laughs.

Where do you weigh a pie?

Over the rainbow.

What goes Ha Ha Ha bonk, Ha Ha Ha bonk?

A man laughing his head off 😊

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's ok...he woke up

Where is the best place to stand in a room if you are cold?
In the corner because it’s 90 degrees 😂

I had an email about an app that helps you read maps backwards, but it was just spam.

What’s a pirates favourite letter?

Mine us somewhat dated (early 90s).

How many members ofvthe Labour Party does it take to change a light bulb?

240, one member one volt.

What do you call a footballer caught in a high wind?
Hurri - Kane

I went to a zoo last week and it only had one dog in it. It was a shitzu.

A young man goes into a shop that specialises in timepieces and asks the shopkeeper for a potato clock.

The shopkeeper says "I've run this specialist shop for 38 years and I've never heard of one of those. How weird! Where did you hear about this item?"

The man replies "From my mum. I've just got my very first job and I'll be starting each morning at 9am, so she told me I would need to get a potato clock!"

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

From: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World%27s_funniest_joke

Jo

What’s E.T. Short for ?
cos he’s only got little legs 😂😂

My August-born DD has been learning Spanish ever since she began in Reception at school, but she doesn't even know how to say 'please' in the language yet.

I think that's poor for four.

There are only 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t.

a fish swims into a wall.....Damn!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
It's the chicken, let me in!!

What do you call a Scottish cloakroom attendant?
Angus McOatup

What kind of bees make milk?

Boobies

“My wife’s gone on holiday to Weymouth.”
”In Dorset?”
”Yes, she’d recommend it to anyone.”

What's the difference between Prince Harry and a puppy?

Eventually, the puppy will stop whining.

Knock knock
Who's there?
I Dunnap.

haha got you

What’s the difference between a weasel and a stoat? A weasel is weaselly recognisable and a stoat is stoatally different.

Which is the messier sport, netball or basketball?

Basketball, as the players dribble, and netball players wear bibs, just in case.

A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood donation centre. The rabbit says 'i think I'm a type o'