To not pay for an unwanted child?

[Anudawan]

Hypothetical.

it came up at work today.

if the pregnancy was a result of a one night stand, regardless of whether precautions were taken, if the man doesn’t want the pregnancy and the woman decides to continue, should he be able to opt out of child support?

my personal answer and I’m not sure on the nuance (ie do you have be on the birth certificate and thus can claim parental responsibility in order to be compelled to pay maintenance or a dna test to compel the man) my personal answer is no, he cannot or shouldn’t be able to opt out once the child is born. All sex (with a woman of reproductive age) carries the risk of pregnancy, you can lower the risk but never fully remove it. Abstinence is the only way to do that. To do the action you’ve got to be prepared for the consequences. It’s very easy to flippantly say ‘get an abortion’ but for some women that isn’t viable.

Of course. However women have the option of morning after pill or abortion so its not the same plus a lot of women are OK with motherhood, just check out the number seeking to be single parents.

It's easy to say 'just don't have sex' but a lot of women enjoy a sexual relationship and a boyfriend who says no isn't going to be a boyfriend for long.

Agreed!

Your suspicions are incorrect. My whole point is that children should be conceived with agreement of both parties. If it’s an accident then measures should be taken as you know that the person will not step up. Same applies to a women if she doesn’t want the baby she can go through the options discussed a male cannot force her.

If roles were reversed and a women didn’t want the child. You would say it’s her body her choice. ??? Right. So why don’t men have that option.

Because it's not their body so it's not their choice 🤷‍♀️

Surely that's fairly obvious 🤦🏼‍♂️

Because actions have consequences.

sex sometimes has consequences, sometimes it’s an Sti, sometimes it’s an unwanted pregnancy. Let’s say in this instance it’s a failure of contraception.

There are situations when the man and woman will be joined up about what to do, either in keeping the baby or not. abortion isn’t contraception, there are many reasons why a woman cannot bring herself to terminate, the physical and psychological toll of an unwanted procedure would be immense. In this scenario she is shackled with the consequences of sex either an unwanted medical procedure or pregnancy and a child. The only positive of an abortion in this instance is that the man doesn’t have to pay, doesn’t have to inconvenience himself. Would he be there at the hospital with her supporting her? What about the after math would he be there too? Unlikely! So yes, he had sex, they both did but one person isn’t to shoulder the consequences alone. And the child support is honestly shamefully low anyway and isn’t representative of the true cost of raising a child (financially, physically, emotionally or opportunity cost).

as always men aren’t the victims here. Patriarchy has meant men are shielded from the consequences of their actions.

and btw the reason that children of single fathers may fair better in life, is due to the village and lack of fatherhood penalty. A man’s earnings are not capped with children. The circumstances by which he becomes a single father. Age at which he is a single dad. And the village, the amount of support he has, the grandparents often playing a large role in the rearing of children, with the grandmother taking up a maternal figure. The same is not often the case for single mothers, where if they were born to a single mother too, often have no male figure in the child’s life, a gap which is often filled by the wrong sort of male, that’s how gangs recruit.

because.... it's not their body that gets pregnant?

they can choose who to have sex with and when

they may cry that it's not fair, but then it's not fair that women have to go through pregnancy, childbirth and are most often the ones literally left holding the baby so...

life's not fair

get a helmet

If a man is really concerned about having an unwanted child then he simply doesn't have sex with the women. Women have options in the case of unwanted pregnancy not so men especially as contraception isn't always effective. Just don't do it. If it's that important to her to have sex let her find another male to do it with, one who probably doesn't care and may well disappear if children appear on the scene. Her choice, and he (the original man) had probably dodged a bullet.

OMG

this comment is bordering on abusive

telling me my head's up my arse is incredibly rude

give your head a wee wobble

I didn't take any dig at SEN kids at all. What dig did I make - please quote me.

Honestly just get a life I can’t be bothered for you

I take that as being that you cannot quote me - so you lied. Thank you for admitting it.

Your posts are honestly out of this world, and so offensive.

i can’t work out if you’re serious or not