To not pay for an unwanted child?

[Anudawan]

Hypothetical.

it came up at work today.

if the pregnancy was a result of a one night stand, regardless of whether precautions were taken, if the man doesn’t want the pregnancy and the woman decides to continue, should he be able to opt out of child support?

my personal answer and I’m not sure on the nuance (ie do you have be on the birth certificate and thus can claim parental responsibility in order to be compelled to pay maintenance or a dna test to compel the man) my personal answer is no, he cannot or shouldn’t be able to opt out once the child is born. All sex (with a woman of reproductive age) carries the risk of pregnancy, you can lower the risk but never fully remove it. Abstinence is the only way to do that. To do the action you’ve got to be prepared for the consequences. It’s very easy to flippantly say ‘get an abortion’ but for some women that isn’t viable.

What are you gibbering on about? 😂

My post wasn't solely to you. Plenty of posters on this thread have said that men should abstain from sex if they don't want to be fathers.

If I was a woman and found out the bloke never declared they were fertile and was now caused harm to my body then I would be making him pay.

Men should declare fertility status before sex.

You replied to me. I have not mentioned it at all.

Many do as do many say the same about women. I say that men should take responsibility as should women and men should declare their fertility status before sex as it is expected of women.

YOU said special.

also your response ‘wouldn’t be surprised if a male wouldn’t want anything to do with you or your child’ is equally disgusting and vile!

Statistics also show that single mothers are more likely to raise broken kids who turn to drugs and alchohol. You even said so yourself that you prevent pregnancy. Lets not continue you are literally saying this to say the opposite.

I don’t mind she took a dig at SEN children. When I was saying special meaning that women have one night stands with men and expect them to father their ‘special’ child when there’s multiple other women using the exact methods to prevent. Let’s not go there about vile. Vile is entrapping people and forcing children to be born without father figures just because you expect the man to step up when they clearly said NO.

If a man has a one night stand with you, how many other women and males do you think do this and find contraception the next morning. It’s only certain women who sit there and say well the man should step up and blah blah blah. Entitled. You have access to all these preventative measures yet you don’t. Then complain when the male refuses to help

Broken kids after trauma of seeing what has happened to their parent? No shit sherlock. Seeing what happens to some mothers especially with the misogyny and abuse they face in most cases is appalling and would lead to trauma. At least you recognise that putting women through such abuse will have an impact on their kids so they are better without such abuse in their life.

Now how to reduce that abuse?

Consult the male. If he says he would NOT like to be present. Go and explore all the options you can possibly have. Simple. Not wait and cry about it and drag your child through all that abuse.

A man wouldn't have a ONS with me. Both are responsible for the outcomes of their sex. Not rocket science is it?

Erm....Yes I do and no I wouldn't complain that the male doesn't help as I wouldn;t need help as there is no child. Even if there was he would be responsible for his part in the situation. If he chose to jizz in her then he is as equally responsible for the outcome. So he faces what I face whether that be a child or a medical procedure.

Men refuse to help when they plan children a lot of the time.

This all day long. Single mothers are not awful mothers. It's just that they tend to end up dating because they are single (and entitled to do so) and that increases the risks because of the harm men cause. If you marry one man that's a much lower risk factor than if you date 3 over a number of years. So let's place that accountability back where it belongs - on the men.

The male is the source of abuse after saying he wants to be present in most cases. Hence why women are abused in pregnancy more than they suffer sickness and stretch marks. Abuse in pregnancy - planned pregnancy is sky high. So no this is not about ONS and men saying they do not want to be present.

If he abuses then he is not entitled to be present as that is child abuse. The options are often worse than staying. My friend found out the hard way - stabbed 71 times and then had her throat slit. So yeah she didn't wait but now the child has no mother. That is what happens when abusers are held to account.

Now you’re just speaking out of your arse. Literally if you’ve had children you would know where the stretch marks come from. Also the stress is due to the factor that your hormones are changing alongside your body. Go bed you speak to speak nonsense.

Not all women get stretch marks. Abuse is more common than that. Stress? I never mentioned stress.

You just do not know much about abuse in pregnancy and no I am not talking bollocks. You just cannot hold men to account for abuse or anything.

No wonder we have entitled boys growing up who treat women as they do with women like you as mothers.

Why are so many women having sex with men and not making them use a condom. It's simple no condom no sex

Why are so many men, with agency over their own bodies and without needing anyone to "force" them, having sex without using a condom. It's simple, no condom no sex.

I have two boys and not you or the prime minister can force them to strip up to a role they didn’t sign up for. Yes if that’s bad then I don’t care. I bet your partner will have none of it if your pregnant that’s why your here arguing like an absolute freak.

Because it's much more pleasant without I assume. If a woman is using something that is 99% effective that's pretty good odds she won't get pregnant...if she says she isn't using anything then yes absolutely he should wear something. The issue is the pill failing way more than it statistically should...

If men want to take the risk then they have to accept the possible consequences. Simple as that really.

*you're

My partner would want me to keep it if I was. He doesn't want one but our discussion that we have already had as mature adults about what if - he has said he would want to have the child. He is a muslim and so against abortion so he said it would be God's will.

Mate you keep projecting your insecurities onto me and trying to use them as an insult. It shows you lack immaturity when saying all the things that YOU worry about clearly with your partner. Maybe your relationship isn't that stable as you think if this is what is on your mind.

Almost 50% of women have been coerced by men with regards to contraception. That is a huge amount. We need to be asking why that is happening and what can be done to change it.

Yes of course. Exactly this. Why would you think anything else is right?

Or he is claiming she was on the pill to excuse his lack or responsibility and to excuse his coercion and then blame her so it appears to be the case. I imagine it is a combination of all to be fair.

The internalised misogyny is strong with you

I have one child, conceived within marriage, a son.

I have advised him that he should be responsible and not have unprotected sex. To protect himself against STIs and also to protect himself against unwanted pregnancy.

I make sure he knows to use condoms properly; to put one on properly and to use plenty of lubrication. Because most condom failure is due to improper use, mostly not enough lubrication which causes tears.

I have also taught him basic biology, so he knows how babies are made. He also knows that once he has been a 50% participant in creating a pregnancy he can voice his opinion on the outcome, but he is not the final decision maker. He cannot force a woman to undergo an abortion, nor can he force a woman to carry a pregnancy to term. Which means after sex, he has no control over the following outcome.

I do hope you are also teaching your sons to respect women as human beings with full agency over their bodies, about consent (for both them and their sexual partners) and to be responsible with contraception for their own safety.

Because from the way you are speaking here in this thread I suspect you may not be teaching them to be responsible individuals. I suspect you are teaching them to shirk responsibility and that women have it all their way and women are out to trap them and women are horrible not to be trusted human beings.

I do so hope my suspicions are incorrect.