DP refuses to acknowledge my birthday on social media

[BrightLJ]

It was my birthday yesterday - me and my DP officially got together around this time last year so this was the first birthday he was properly ‘with’ me for for.

He made the day really special, thoughtful presents, a nice day out with a lunch somewhere I have always wanted to go to.

For DP’s birthday a few months ago I did a big post on my insta grid, with photos of us and a loving caption.

I thought DP would have done the same for
me yesterday. It got to early evening and I still
hadn’t been tagged by him or noticed anything on his profile so I asked him if he was planning on doing this.

He said no, that he has wished me happy birthday in person and that he didn’t see the point in posting something publicly when he’d spent all day with me. I said it would mean a lot to me if he did but he again said no and that he isn’t really a social media type of person and always felt these sort of posts were unnecessary unless the two people were apart.

I was admittedly a bit frosty with him after this and the evening didn’t really go as planned, he was meant to stay over at mine but said he wasn’t feeling great and went home.

I’ve messaged him today to say I was a bit hurt by him not posting and that it felt as though he wasn’t proud of us. He’s basically replied to say again he’s not that type of man and it isn’t something he will ever do.

Am I unreasonable to ask for this, it’s a minimum expectation in this day and age surely?

🙄🙄

Over 3000 votes with 99% saying YABU so you have your answer.

Nothing will ever get through to you.
I really hope he dumps you!!!

I can’t actually believe I’m reading this.
He was with you in person on your Birthday, so wished you you a Happy Birthday personally.
That is 100% better than wishing you Happy Birthday on fake social media.
I cringe at all the happy birthday/anniversary posts to my DH/DW I see on Facebook. They are probably sitting next to them on the sofa but feel the need to post . It’s embarrassing.

FFS🙄

100 fake post.

Nobody can be this thick-skinned or just thick.

I would really look inside and ask why it's so important to you. External validation? Showing off your relationship? This is the issue with insta... you've said you've had a lovely time together, but also has to prove it to everyone else on social media too? Why?

You don't seem to get it OP...

If you have to nag someone to do something, they are then only doing it because you nagged at them.. it doesn't come from a place of wanting to do it, or them being happy to do it, it's because it's just not worth the aggro they get if they don't do it.

It then becomes hollow and meaningless.. you'll mature enough to understand it one day, but for now it will remain firmly out of your grasp.

I would run for the hills if my bf of 1 year threw a tantrum over not posting about his birthday on my social media. And I would have definitely not appreciated him creating flashy posts for my birthday.

If this man does stay with you, I’m sure you’ll be happy to know that he has agreed to post birthday messages about you on SM, just to keep you happy, just for show and there’s no real meaning behind the messages. Just something he had agreed to do because of your sulking.

Just waiting for the deletion message...

You were doing so well. Then you went and ruined it with that post.

More fool us, for engaging.

Maybe you should take over his ‘socials’ so you can post about yourself to your standards.

You are displaying so many red flags - he should run away quickly

How old were you, OP?
Time to care more about what actually happened than projecting an image on socials.

i fin it fake-feels like people are trying too hard

poor bloke feel sorry for him

Well, you've achieved something previously thought impossible on MN.

Not only have you united almost every poster, you've united them in sympathy for the MAN!

Well done! Although your last post over-reached a little, tbh...

He’s perfectly happy with me thanks, all our friends say he’s punching so I doubt he’ll be going anywhere soon 😂

This sounds so shallow, not sure you’re the right woman for him

This has to be a joke??

Lol, you went too far with the him apologising post op. Not a chance. Well done though, you had many of us fooled.

You lost me when you said socials are part of relationships, huh?! I’d recommend a social cleanse and try and gain some perspective.

Is that what they see in real life or in your social media …

Just put a picture from your birthday and publicly thank him for the lovely day.

if it’s important to you that people know he loves you do that.

This is all kinda embarrassing though. Social media shouldn’t matter.

You didn't appreciate the in person things on your birthday though, did you? You were so fixated on wanting him to post on Insta that you ruined the in person things by sulking and he went home feeling rejected. You need to stop telling yourself that this is an age thing, plenty of people have posted explaining that they are your age and still think you're being shallow, ungrateful. Your "standards" are fucked up, you need to address your relationship with socials before it wrecks your actual relationship.