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Original poster

To report my son as missing?

459 replies

stucky · 18/03/2025 21:23

Wondering when to start panicking? DS 22, hasn't been home since Friday day time. He usually lets me know what's going on. It's not unusual for him to spend time at a friends for a day or two, however I've messaged his closest friends, no one's seen him since Friday. His phone been dead since Saturday morning. I know he's not a child, but he's my son and I'm concerned about his wellbeing. Should I report him as a missing person? Or am I overreacting? I just don't know what to do.

Please be kind, I am currently feel very fragile.

OP posts:
Amberjane41 · 19/03/2025 10:44

Do you live near Bristol OP? If so I would definitely be calling them or at least go to that friends so you know he is safe

FiveTreeHill · 19/03/2025 10:54

This thread is insane. No ones behaviour is normal

Your son has been missing since Friday. Not contacted you. Not been to work. Allegedly no drugs involved

He's apparently just at a friend's house, but hasn't charged his phone since Friday. What 22yr old is happy to go without a phone for that long? Who of that age wouldn't have an available charger in their house since Friday? He's also not just hanging out because he's not been to work.

This behaviour would be incredibly alarming to most. Yet OP "doesn't want to invade his privacy". If this was a housemate I'd have called the police days ago.

Let's hope it's just for drama because fuck me

Fancyquickthinker · 19/03/2025 10:58

Any news OP 🙏

NoStyleLeft · 19/03/2025 11:01

HerOopNorth · 19/03/2025 08:34

i have two sons . The one I had concerns about is 22.
No one's trying to trip you up but you have another thread where you said one was 23. That's why I checked because another poster had commented on it.

Edited

It’s quite common to change some details on MN - whether that be age or number of DCs, their sex etc. It’s a wise thing to do. Whether OP’s son is 22 or 23 isn’t really pertinent to the thread, so I’d stop mentioning it really.

OP, I would be going to the friend’s house where he supposedly is. If he hasn’t been home, hasn’t been in contact and has missed work - I think he might need his mum. Go and get him.

kitchentablegardentable · 19/03/2025 11:04

FiveTreeHill · 19/03/2025 10:54

This thread is insane. No ones behaviour is normal

Your son has been missing since Friday. Not contacted you. Not been to work. Allegedly no drugs involved

He's apparently just at a friend's house, but hasn't charged his phone since Friday. What 22yr old is happy to go without a phone for that long? Who of that age wouldn't have an available charger in their house since Friday? He's also not just hanging out because he's not been to work.

This behaviour would be incredibly alarming to most. Yet OP "doesn't want to invade his privacy". If this was a housemate I'd have called the police days ago.

Let's hope it's just for drama because fuck me

Agree with this.

Something isn’t right.

I wouldn’t be able to relax and until I had seen / spoken to my son.

Also, 22 or 42, if my son lived with me, I would want him to contact me if he wasn’t coming home for 5 nights. That’s just standard and how the world works, OP.

I very much hope your son is at his friends, OP, because personally I wouldn’t believe it till I’d seen it.

Even if he is, there’s something very wrong here and I’m surprised at how casual you are being about it.

HerOopNorth · 19/03/2025 11:12

@NoStyleLeft The comments about the age discrepancy was ages ago now. I've accepted and even posted to say it was possibly a typo.

Can you too take the advice you're offering and just leave it?

It's old news and the thread's moved on.

If you want to pick away at posts maybe report those that say this is a wind-up/ fiction.

NoStyleLeft · 19/03/2025 11:18

Are you okay @HerOopNorth?!

Wtafdidido · 19/03/2025 11:25

I’m sorry but you can be supportive and provide a safe space AND expect him to show you some respect and courtesy by at least sending you a text to say he won’t be back for a few days. A dead phone is a bollox excuse. Don’t be a doormat. Tell him you are happy for him to go where he wants etc but that you were worried out of your mind so in future expect at least a text and rough estimate of how long he will be MIA. Just because he’s your son doesn’t mean he gets to treat you like shit and if you were as close as you think you are he would def not treat you like this. Theres no excuse.

faerietales · 19/03/2025 11:42

Something about this story doesn’t make sense.

dialfor · 19/03/2025 11:43

Amberjane41 · 19/03/2025 10:44

Do you live near Bristol OP? If so I would definitely be calling them or at least go to that friends so you know he is safe

What’s the relevance?

Cafenoisette · 19/03/2025 11:43

Everything in this thread is very weird, including this family dynamic. If he lives in your house, he should let you know that he will be away for a few days out of respect, so that you know that the pets need fed, and you won't worry about him.
Not going to work, and not even calling sick, just disappearing, is very alarming imo.

Tricho · 19/03/2025 11:46

Quinlan · 18/03/2025 21:25

You haven’t already? With what you’ve said, i’d have reported it sunday night or yesterday. Why have you waited until now?

hey, quick one just for ref, you're not really helping.

faerietales · 19/03/2025 11:52

dialfor · 19/03/2025 11:43

What’s the relevance?

Show quote history

Quite a few young lads have gone missing in Bristol recently.

Stravaig · 19/03/2025 12:42

'Having a dead phone' is no excuse for not letting the people you live with, or your employer, know where you are and what is happening. Borrow a charger, borrow a phone, find a surviving payphone, ask a business if you can use their phone, get on a computer and send a message that way. Or get your arse home or to work as expected.

FFS, we did better than this back when it was find a phone box or knock on a random door and ask to use their landline!

I'd still be worried — but I'm also way out of date and generally horrified about what is considered acceptable behaviour these days. This would not be.

Missj25 · 19/03/2025 13:01

So delighted to see update your son is safe 🙏🥳🥳 !!!!
I was thinking about you & your son all morning as I went about my day ..
Really glad all is well ☺️ Xxx

CakeFace1234 · 19/03/2025 13:02

He routinely feeds the pets when you are away which he hasn't. Also, hasn't turned up for work. Out of character but probably at a friend's. Can you see when he was last active on his phone?

Please still try to locate him. I would be beside myself too and it must be terrifying making a missing person's call - admitting to yourself that there is a possibility that someone has come to harm but you said it was out of character and that is enough reason. 98% agree to make the call. I am really hoping all well.

VivaDixie · 19/03/2025 13:05

Missj25 · 19/03/2025 13:01

So delighted to see update your son is safe 🙏🥳🥳 !!!!
I was thinking about you & your son all morning as I went about my day ..
Really glad all is well ☺️ Xxx

OP doesnt know this for sure - she has had third hand info that he is at a friends house, he hasnt gone to work and his phone has been dead since Friday.

OP, when I shared a flat with a friend 20 years ago we had an unspoken agreement to let eachother know if we werent coming home, or if we didnt come home we would get a message to the eachother somehow - so if your DS phone is dead then get a mate to text you. Anything.

Call the police - you have no way of knowing if this third hand info is true

Pancakerocker · 19/03/2025 13:27

I would have reported already if out of character.hope you hear something soon. Please report to the police.

Grammarnut · 19/03/2025 13:30

Phone now.

Missj25 · 19/03/2025 13:32

Oh I didn’t realise..
I read through OPs posts clearly too quickly 🙈
which I can have a habit of doing ..I knew he hadn’t been to work yesterday & his phone dead since Saturday alright …
OP I would go to police & send them to where he is supposed to be ..
Sending the best wishes & thoughts Xxx

Ceebs85 · 19/03/2025 13:54

I'd be on the phone to the police the second I knew he hadn't shown up for work (if I didn't know the friends address)

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 19/03/2025 13:58

Has he gone to work today? I'd definitely report him missing.

Riversof0tter5 · 19/03/2025 14:08

If this is real it's so clearly a police matter. I have to wonder, OP, if you are afraid of what you'll find out. Is there anyone who can sit with you to make the call, or call on your behalf?

Cerealkiller9000 · 19/03/2025 14:14

stucky · 18/03/2025 21:23

Wondering when to start panicking? DS 22, hasn't been home since Friday day time. He usually lets me know what's going on. It's not unusual for him to spend time at a friends for a day or two, however I've messaged his closest friends, no one's seen him since Friday. His phone been dead since Saturday morning. I know he's not a child, but he's my son and I'm concerned about his wellbeing. Should I report him as a missing person? Or am I overreacting? I just don't know what to do.

Please be kind, I am currently feel very fragile.

Please ring the police. I work for search and rescue and work with the police for missing people.

if you phone them now they can start work on it. Don’t wait any longer.

Phelicity · 19/03/2025 14:26

Why are you reluctant to involve the police OP?