DS was hit in the face by a child at school

[Lifestooshort1542]

AIBU to be feeling quite upset about this? 😢
There was an incident at school where DS (7) and some other children followed a year 6 child to an area of the school field where the year 6 child had gone ‘to cool down’ due to feeling overwhelmed and over stimulated.
DS and others have gone over to see if he’s ok, and this boy has lashed out at DS who was in the firing line and hit him twice across the face.
School rang me and informed me of the incident and said he was ok but quite upset so sat with a teacher. The head was aware and the boy in question is being ‘dealt with’.

Im quite upset by this, Do I just accept this happened and let it go?
WWYD?

No one expects the child to tolerate violence. He is being comforted at school. His parents were alerted. The older child is being ‘dealt with’. What more could happen in this situation? If it were my child I’d also be giving some strategies for not being punched in the face again, like ‘don’t follow distressed people onto the field to see if they are ok, tell an adult.’

I mean you could answer the question. It’s not hard. Would it be a woman’s fault for being hit by her DH if she didn’t leave him alone? And if not why not?

Or another comparison - a parents with a child. A teenager with their sibling. An elderly person with another elderly person. Pick any variety you want.

They don't have to.

Yep to both posts

See it all the time. I think parents would be shocked at how manipulative their little darlings can actually be.

Again would you call a woman with a black eye for following her DH when he wanted to cool down?

How would a 7yo know that a 10yo is doing what’s asked of him? And why assume he’s winding him up?

If you’d be furious with your child for being punched I really hope you don’t have kids. My own DC know violence is never OK no matter what and I’d ALWAYS back their corner if someone was violent against them.

No, they don’t want to because it shows they think little boys don’t deserve the respect or consideration grown women do

Er no. I don't think so.

I think you need a break.

I'd treat it as a learning incident, for both kids.

Your little one knows to leave children who are cooling off alone and the older child needs to apologise and have a one on one supervised meet up with your little chap.

It is an opportunity for you to educate your DS about how some kids are different and really need to cool off.
Talk to him also about how he would react if he were feeling hot, angry and upset. Does he have a quiet place he likes to go?

Er I do. Interesting how I haven’t had a proper response except short flippant replies.

If it’s not ok to victim blame adults it’s not ok to victim blame children.

If 7 is old enough to know the intricacies of individual older kids, and adapt your behaviour for that, what is the age where kids are too young to understand and therefore it’s not a ‘lesson’? Is there any age limit?

I would not be worried. It's done. Hope your DS is okay. Y6 is quite old to be hitting. I'd ve worried if my Y6 child was hitting younger children, regardless of whether he was cooling down or not.

@APATEKPHILLIPEWATCH

For the same reason you don't hold children accountable to anything that would be considered a crime for an adult.

Drawing on walls = normal childhood discipline/teachable moment
But for an adult it's a criminal offence (vandalism)

Stealing a sweet = normal childhood discipline/teachable moment
But for an adult it's shoplifting/theft

Toddler peeing on a tree at the park when caught short and no public toilets nearby = acceptable
But for an adult it's not

Child following another child around = needs teaching of social skills
But for an adult it's stalking or harassment

Child walking in on you in the bath/shower/toilet = pretty standard part of parenting
But if it was an adult it's creepy pervert behaviour

I’m talking about the 7yo as a victim. Why is the narrative different for a child victim than an adult victim?

You don't understand the difference between a child and an adult. Have you ever met a child?

What’s the difference then in the context of both being a victim of violence or abuse? Do enlighten me.

About 10-15 years.

yes I’d be furious at my child for bothering another on purpose. A seven year old would definitely know what they were doing.

Doesnt mean to say I think she should have been punched. However she would most certainly learned a swift lesson.

It sounds like the school are taking appropriate action so no I wouldn’t need to get further involved.

You can’t hold kids to the same standards as adults.By your argument we should charge my toddler for gbh for biting me.

I have 3 lovely children that I hope don’t go round poking bears so to speak. Get off your high horse and go to bed.

I plan on charging my toddler for gbh for biting me. He drew skin.

whilst we’re at it, my 10 year old is going to get done for fraud. He took £10 from me after he said he’d cleaned his room. Spoiler/ he did not.

My daughter left her roller skate at the top of the stairs. Suing her for gross negligence.

How is the 10-15 years relevant? Are you saying young people don’t deserve to be seen as victims because they’re young? Because all you’ve just told me is a number. What do you actually mean?

What age do you stop excusing violence then? 17 years and 364 days is the last day it’s acceptable as long as they were provoked? And the day after theyre a criminal?

What about the age people are seen as being victims who shouldn’t be blamed?

Yeah you’re right - lock him up and throw away the key.

I’m sure you think you’re hilarious but at what age do your children know they don’t deserve to be the victim of violence? Is it the same for a ND child? Can someone thump a 7yo ND child for whatever reason they see as acceptable?

Massive yawn at another non answer.

You don’t want to answer because you’re a hypocrite who thinks ND children should get a free pass for bad behaviour and NT children should count their blessings and STFU when they get hit. Right?

Trying to match the ridiculous analogy you’ve made. You can not compare a 10 year old child trying to calm down in a playground to an abusive man in a DV relationship.

I never said they weren’t a victim of violence. I said they would have learned a swift lesson. I said I would be furious to know my child hadn’t respected another’s boundaries. I said I would have little sympathy for my child in that situation.

it sounds as though the other child is being dealt with by the school. They are not going to try him as an adult.