To think it's odd this family don't use terms of endearment?

[WhatGoesHere]

So, a family I've known for over 35 years, all lovely people etc but they don't use any form of endearment in every day life. I've spent many days and nights and holidays etc with them, so have seen them at their best, worst and all in between.
There's no darling/hun/sweetheart/dear/dearest etc
It was so jarring once I noticed.

AIBU it think it's a bit odd?

I mean, nothing at all to do with me, doesn't affect me... but find it a little sad to be frank.

Absolutely this. So meaningless.

Not the dreaded Hun word!
And it really grates on me when posters on here start off a reply with ‘Sweetheart…
Ah yes and ‘love yoooooo’!!

We would never use those terms in our family.

‘Hun’ is cringey 🤮 It’s up there with ‘Hubby’, for me.

I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anyone say ‘Dearest’ in real life? 🤷🏼‍♀️

We don't, really. DP might from time to time but I never have. The only person other than DP I can think used to was my gran.

Haha I have 3 sisters and 4 brothers and if any of us meet up it’s always “alright dickhead”

Nope also never used these terms. We speak a second language and endearments are not common in that language. I have never called my child or my partner sweetie, honey or darling. We have a perfectly good marriage and a lovely relationship with our kids who know they are loved.

No you are Bizarre. Not everybody goes through life gushing over their husband and children. My parents never once told me they loved me. I knew they did though.

I call teenage DS all manner of random cute names at home. In public he would be mortified by this

If you never do, I agree. But I can’t be doing with the perfunctory “Love you!” that people say to each other (and their kids) every time they leave or end a phone call. It becomes utterly meaningless, like “See ya!” It’s almost superstitious.
For me, how you treat people shows love more than what you say. Saying things is easy (although nice to hear),but seeing love can be a lot more meaningful.

I often use a nickname for my son and but other than that we don't use darling/hun/sweetheart/dear/dearest type names for each other either. I call my husband by his name and he does the same with me. Most people we know are like this.

I do notice if people do use pet names and the names you mention as it is different from my norm. Couple who did it the most are now divorced - rarely used each others actual names - it was all 'bunny' and 'rabbit' and similar.

We do hug and say we love each other but not particularly frequently. Not at the end of every phone call or every time we part and greet each other! That would feel a too much too.

I don't find it bizarre or jarring that people do use pet names - just not something that I and most people I spend time with chose to do.

Yes. I call my kids by their names like normal people do. If I "hunned" or "sweetied" them they would look at me as though I were mad.

However we all regularly say Love you and finish calls that way.

I’ve never used anything like that, neither has my family or friends….my parents didn’t call me anything like that or hug me often or tell me they loved me much. They showed me, I was fed, clothed, warm…more than some kids in the area I grew up in.

My parents were very affectionate, told us they loved us regularly but never called us or each other anything but our names. No huns, darlings, dears, loves etc except maybe very very rarely a "love" to each other. No nicknames either.

Never thought anything of it - why would I?

I probably use terms of endearment towards DH and DC more than their actual names. I am certain I wouldn’t notice that other people didn’t use terms of endearment though.

LOL. I'm middle aged and DH and I do the same. My son is sausage. No idea why that has been used as a term of endearment in my family. I think it's because my dad used to call me sausage 1 and my sisters sausage 2 & 3 but the reason why has been taken to his death bed😂

We don’t.Well dh does sometimes but he’s from Sheffield and everyone gets called love. His big butch brother calls all his brothers and sons love too. We used to have a pet name for each other but thankfully grew out of that!
But my mum and dad, never ones for pdas, when they wrote to each other used the salutation “Darling xxxx” which I always found lovely.

I never use any of those "terms of endearment"and would find them cringeworthy.

My parents never used them either. The only person I ever knew who occasionally did was my MIL. DH and I have been married for over 30 years and are more likely to call each other Arsehole or Fart.

No-one actually uses "hun" as a term of endearment, though, do they? If it's not ironic, it's generally just lazy.

That’s what she said, isn’t it?

Nothing so vulgar as these soppy terms of endearment - they are not dogs!

I don’t know why OP is so shocked! Just because it’s their norm doesn’t mean it’s “the norm”

I call my kids or DH by their names or nicknames. Would never use hun/babe/darling etc

we are all v happy and loving…

But then you were brought up in a proper family!

Proper upbringing, proper behavior.

OP you have a bizarre inability to understand that other people are not you. Other people do things diffferently and that’s ok.

I tell my children I love them daily and use lots of lovely adjectives to describe them, but I don’t use pet names, no. My children are in no way deprived by this!

Oh I call my kids all manner of things and always have. 🤣 It doesn't have to be their names even. Nor any terms of endearment either.

They seem to have survived and all three are now in their twenties.