To think it's odd this family don't use terms of endearment?

[WhatGoesHere]

So, a family I've known for over 35 years, all lovely people etc but they don't use any form of endearment in every day life. I've spent many days and nights and holidays etc with them, so have seen them at their best, worst and all in between.
There's no darling/hun/sweetheart/dear/dearest etc
It was so jarring once I noticed.

AIBU it think it's a bit odd?

I mean, nothing at all to do with me, doesn't affect me... but find it a little sad to be frank.

I don’t call anyone anything other than their given name or maybe a nickname.

I find continual use of terms of endearment pretty cringey tbh. It would drive me mad if anyone kept calling me ‘darling/babe’ etc

No pet names here. I don’t think I use names much at all other than to call or refer to someone. I would just say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ with nothing else.
I tell them I love them multiple times a day though. I often tell them I’m proud of them too.

My family didn't really use them at home much, maybe for a younger child but not to each other all the time, though it was 3 boys as children, if that could affect it. I wouldn't use them now in my own home much - is it not quite cringy and all Bridgerton mum etc? I guess you see it that way or you don't. Each to their own. This one family's (and most family's) happiness is not linked to the use of phrases in my opinion.

The only one I use terms of endearment with is the dog. Everyone else is called by their names!

Tbh OP I find it stranger that up in think it’s ’bizarre’ that people are different to you. And as this thread shows, you seem to be on the minority

HRTFT but I know someone who only uses them. The reason, so many OW he doesn't have to worry about calling one by the wrong name.

I think I probably had the most secure childhood of anyone I know. My parents were never outwardly affectionate and we were always called by our full first name, never shortened and never any terms of endearment, but absolutely always there when your needed them (and still are), fully supportive of all our aims and ambition and yet the first people to turn to when it all goes wrong.

I think they were far more"loving" than lots "soppier" family dynamics.

I only use them with my kids. Never with my husband, never with friends or my own family growing up or now. My husband's family don't either, other than with our children and their cousins.

I don’t think my family have ever used those sorts of words with me. We are NC now in my 40s, so maybe they just don’t like me that much. 😂 In our own family, we have nicknames for the dc, but things like “stinkie” and “smelly” not very endearing!

Absolutely normal. You can tell people you love them without drenching them with huns

We use each other's given names. That's what names are for. If I am ever called "Love" or "darlin" (Dr's receptionists and hospital staff usually) the person using it gets a hard Paddington stare and and is reminded that my name is Mrs Hellebores.

What if someone started calling their BF Boo in an ironic/Beyoncé way over 20 years ago, and still does? Asking for a friend.

It's not "madness" or "bizarre " it's just different to how you address people. Calling someone darling doesn't mean you love them more than someone who just uses the name.

Oh and I can't stand random people calling me chick , hun etc

Jarring, a mystery, bizarre, madness?

Op learning possibly for the first in their lives that not everyone is the same!

My inlaws used fluffy terms of endearment and offered hugs far and wide but nothing was backed up in terms of attitudes and actions.
My family call each other by name (or mild insult!) and rarely, if ever, hug each other - babies and small children that like hugs are the exception to this “rule”. A nod, a genuine, kind smile and a helping hand says so much more.

Not sure why you have kept repeating yourself on the first couple of pages @WhatGoesHere

91% of people think YABU.
Not sure why you think everyone else is bizarre, rather than your friends are pretty normal.
I mean, nothing wrong with you calling your loved ones whatever you want, but, it really isn't odd not to.

Lol. My DS had that sarcastic OTT endearment used to him as a teenager . I must try it again sees if he still cringes like hell ...

And no I can't remember using those sort of endearments with anyone . My eldest daughter was ratfink though. Can't remember where it came from now

OP, if you had started a post asking what terms of endearment people use for the people they love and care for you'd have pages of responses listing all the sweet, daft names people use.

It seems to be a MN trend that if someone disagrees with an OP early on then many people join in and have a good old sneer.

All that "why would I use anything other than their given name?" faux naivete, as if people are unaware that partners often call each other love or sweetheart and it's not at all sickening or indicative of low intelligence.

e.g. calling upstairs - "please can you bring a towel down, love". It's really not that bizarre.

Are you in the US OP?

American parents on my social media seem to use hun, babe etc towards their spouse and children where as UK parents seem to have random names like stinky bum or squiggles.

My mum calls me by my name (always has) or some shortened version of it. My siblings and I call each other by name or "dickhead" if we're bring affectionate

Same

it gives me the ick, I find it all a bit false, I just use names

Never had pet names in my family growing up. My name being shortened to its first letter was the maximum endearment term.
We were perfectly "normal"

Ive got a terrible habit of calling my partner babe in private, but at work everyone calls me babe, and i call them babe, and everyone is culturally "babe" so im unsure if its romantic endearment or a default.

How have you managed to miss the point of almost every response?

It's not odd to use pet names and it's not odd not to do that. People are individuals and what they do in their own families are nobody else's business, pet names or no.

The only sneering is from posters like you and the OP.

Rarely use my DD's name, she's usually 'darling'. Just force of habit. The dog has a million billion pet names because he's so adorable that his name along doesn't do him justice. For DH I use his name but he gets the odd 'hello, handsome' because it makes his day when I'm unexpectedly nice to him. 😁