To think it's odd this family don't use terms of endearment?

[WhatGoesHere]

So, a family I've known for over 35 years, all lovely people etc but they don't use any form of endearment in every day life. I've spent many days and nights and holidays etc with them, so have seen them at their best, worst and all in between.
There's no darling/hun/sweetheart/dear/dearest etc
It was so jarring once I noticed.

AIBU it think it's a bit odd?

I mean, nothing at all to do with me, doesn't affect me... but find it a little sad to be frank.

Don’t use any pet name for DH, would find that quite 🤮.
I call DD “lovie” sometimes, and “dearest” if I’m being sarcastic.
DH doesn’t use pet names for anyone.

DH and I have been together for 24 years, and rarely argue. I don’t need a pet name to know I’m loved and cherished.

OP can I ask, are you British? The norm for the majority of British people is to be nice and say nice things to people we don't actually like. People we like get insults not terms of endearment.

I find some of the responses on here so strange bordering on mean.

Its not cringe or 🤢.

Some people show love differently. It doesn't mean my OH is having an affair LOL.

Dh calls me Wench lol
Does that count?

I have a slightly crazy list of daft names and terms of endearment for my kids. So daft in fact that I never use them in public. Not even around close friends. So maybe it's that.

There's no darling/hun/sweetheart/dear/dearest etc
It was so jarring once I noticed.

Random people in my workplace use these terms with no endearment attached.🙄
I will live by 'actions not words'.

No, most people I know don’t talk like that.

I know several families who just use names. They show affection in other ways.

The only family member who gets terms of endearment showered on him in our house is the dog.

Have they told you they never use these in private or have you just noticed that they don't use them in public?

That was my first thought, my Mothers family were all from Huddersfield & "Cocker, Reet Mi Cock & Ow do Cock" were all forms of welcoming family greeting.

A parent of dc’s friend refers to their own (teen) child by ridiculous ‘terms of endearment’ in texts about them, even if the issues discussed are quite serious. I find it weird and a minimising tactic. Eg ‘aw I’m sorry snugglybums* brought 5 bottles of vodka to the party, naughty naughty’ , that kind of thing.
*not the real name obvs.
The kid gets away with murder , always.

I use terms like “your lordship” “emperor of the galaxy” as sarcasm towards my teen ds. He replies with something containing “peasant” or “serf” in an equally sarcastic way.

He also calls me “mother” rather than mum as a joke too. It has other people raising an eyebrow but it’s our sort of humour.

He’s never called me bro or fam which I take as a win.

My dad had never used pet names for me. We couldn't be closer.

Don't get me started on people who automatically add 'love you' at the end of every call to a family member regardless of how short it is (especially if they'll be seeing said family member in 5 minutes anyway). Makes it absolutely meaningless as they are just saying it on autopilot!

And..... if they were having an affair, an easy way to never mix up their names!😂

If any of my family (or friends) called me hun I’d think they’d had a bump on the head.

The only people who call me love/hun are strangers or tradesmen, delivery people who are being polite. I live down south so don’t hear pet or duck.

Yeah, the other day around my friends' house I forgot where I was and I called my 16yo DD 'squiggy' by accident, "Do you want another pancake, squiggy?". Friends said, "SQUIGGY??" Poor DD was mortified. My kids all have affectionate names which I constantly vary. Oliver is often 'Olibobble', 'Bob' or 'Olbas oil'. My twins are squigs and squogs (I'm sure 16yo teen boy would not like me to use that in front of friends!!) and he calls me 'Bellens' which sounds a bit too close to bellend for public consumption.

Right 😁

My late Great Auntie Doris used to call everyone duck or ducky. I think of her very fondly.

FIL calls me by a term of endearment, it's the same one he uses for his own daughters. I suspect it is due to having a lot of kids and struggling to get to the right name.
MIL calls them "DC1, DC2, DC3, DC4, the cat's name, umm, I meant..."
His way is nicer!

I once ended a call "love you, bye!" and was asked if that was my partner. Nope, brother!

Interesting to read how different people are. I am super bloody sloppy and not only call DP all kinds of pet names and words (and he me, hopefully voluntarily!!) but also the kids, both words based on their names and also sweetipops, darling, baby, everything you can possibly imagine. They are used to it. I wouldn't do it in front of their friends, or at least just use a neutral nickname. Actually what is rare with me is to use their normal name, I would have to be pretty pissed off to do that, or would use it only if I was referring to them.

If my husband calls me sweetheart I ask him what's he's after, he knows I hate it. Whereas I call my dog babes when I get in from work and when he feeds the cat he says come on darling! Also my kids , I call one chicken (because she likes nuggets) and one slick (because he once wore a fancy suit to prom 😆), not love, hun 🤮, or sweetie. Not everyone uses soppy cringey names.