To think it's odd this family don't use terms of endearment?

[WhatGoesHere]

So, a family I've known for over 35 years, all lovely people etc but they don't use any form of endearment in every day life. I've spent many days and nights and holidays etc with them, so have seen them at their best, worst and all in between.
There's no darling/hun/sweetheart/dear/dearest etc
It was so jarring once I noticed.

AIBU it think it's a bit odd?

I mean, nothing at all to do with me, doesn't affect me... but find it a little sad to be frank.

It's really, really not.

The amount of darlings, dears, honeys... out here cheating, beating, gaslighting, gambling, stealing...

If they're happy, leave them be.

In our house we have cute/funny nicknames for each other but it's nothing as cringey and generic as "darling" and "dearest." And we don't use them around other people.

I've noticed that my MIL does the whole "darling" thing as a way to control/manipulate people so I'm even more glad we don't do it.

Also "hun" is sarcastic.

Same in our family ..... everyone gushes over the dog.

Never called a pet name by parent or grandparent and have never called DH one or he me - or any of our children. Not heard it amongst our friends - would maybe consider it a bit performative?

We always hug and snuggle and tell each other we love each other within the family - wouldnt do it in company though.

People often have nicknames or alternative names for their kids that only they use terms that aren’t so sugary sweet and come across as performative if said loudly in public- especially towards a kid who might be misbehaving at the time.

I never use terms of endearment my husband will occasionally but I don't think I've used any TOEs. To my children since they were toddlers, of course I hugged and kissed them and they know I love them without using pet names, I've been married decades and my children range from 30-20s . It's not the deal you are making out

Nope, well only sarcastically. You've forgotten the bins again - sweetheart. But never in normal daily life. TBF I have stepkids not kids.

The pets on the other hands get lavished with little pet names - I am British after all.

I don't really know why you think this has anything to do with you!

why is it bizarre? Because it doesn't fit Sith your narrative of how people show love? THATS fucking bizarre

My other half has so many nicknames for me its weird if he uses my actual name I'm like 👀 are you ok.

He usually calls me sweetie.

I don't find it weird. I'm from a family where noone uses terms of endearment and my Husband's family very very rarely do.

My grandad calls everyone cocker. That’s it. My parents never said they loved me or hugged me let alone used terms of endearment!

Let me guess OP, you also find it weird when people don't declare their love for each other all over social media....?

Is he from Yorkshire by any chance?! 😂

@Starlight1984lancashire! I was in Tesco and heard someone bellowing “alright cocker!”
me and my cousin both turned round and went “grandads here then….”

Nope never. It sounds completely fake to me and makes me want to heave.

I usually call my kids "dummy." I tried calling them "fruit of my loins," but they didn't like it much.

We're in Yorkshire and everyone is "cock", "lass" or "fella / pal" round here, family or not! Occasionally you get an "alreet love" off the postman / milkman / window cleaner. If anyone called each other "babe" or "hun" they would be turfed out of the county😂

My children would think I was going doolally if I started calling them sweetie or darling. Maybe you didn't know but everyone's different.

I think we use terms of endearment in our house…does “Oi, dickhead!” Count??

I once got called sexist for using a term of endearment on this forum! Maybe it’s the wrong place to ask

I use them all the time.

I think I’d vomit if anyone ever called me hun though. I’m not a nomad in Asia from the 5th century.

Why would you even notice this? I don't use these endearments in front of other people. Perhaps this family doesn't either.

I find it more than a bit sad that you've posted a thread to judge people who don't 'perform' as your family obviously has to.

I’m in Yorkshire too and can concur we don’t stand for this nonsense

I know all their names so don't need to use generic terms when addressing them.

I think it's total cringe when people use generic terms of endearment, particularly to other adults. Interestingly, the one person I know that seemed to only use them for hours wife turned out to be having an affair. I guess it's one way to be sure you don't use the wrong name