To be upset that fellow holiday goer told me I'm too old for my hair?

[MoneyPieceNotMoneyShot]

I'm rising 60 and have been obese all my life, have just got it under control, gone on a glow up and have decided to Fuuckit and I've headed off on my holiday of a lifetime.

I've spent most of today with another solo traveller and quite enjoyed her company, but am fully aware she's from a more forthright culture than me. (A close friend from home is also this nationality so I'm fully aware of this conversational style).

As we parted company she said that she felt she had to tell me that at my age I should be considering getting my hair cut to a more age appropriate length.

I fricking love my hair, my hairdresser has been with me through literal thick and thin, and had particularly encouraged me nurturing my length after The Bad Bad Bob Incident of October 23.

Low self confidence and self esteem through being morbidly obese for 30 years doesn't lend itself to resilience, so I'm now in my room trying to distract myself and win the day back to no avail.

Aibu to be upset or am I a soft numpty?

@Toooldforlonghair I’m so pleased your hair grew back. I have TE & Androgenic Alopecia. My hair has thickened up and started growing again (finally) after starting meds and HRT. It’s not quite the thick, Lucious hair I had when young, but it’s longer and stronger than since my early 20’s

re short hair, some of us have no choice. Mine started thinning in my late 60's and it thins worse if I try to grow it....please try not to judge even in your thoughts.

She sounds like a total dickhead. Ignore massively. Absolutely NO idea where this idea that older women have to have short hair comes from and she sounds like an idiot that has mistaken her own subjective opinion for fact. IGNORE.

Your hair is FAB! And no I don't think there is a certain age you need to cut it shorter

I hope you are having an amazing trip!!

Tell her she's acting like a jaloerse trut if you see her again.

(ya-loor-suh trut)

Your hair is amazing. I am getting up there age-wise and have long hair (pixie cut that grew over Covid and I have never looked back) - I give no fucks. Some people are jealous frankly, and like to rain on peoples parades - don’t let them!

Well over 60 and have salted brown waste length hair.

I have 2 words for people who tell me what I can and cannot do because of my age and the 2nd word is off.

all the more reason to keep growing it longer

I bet your hair is beautiful. Tell the jealous woman to sod off if she mentions it again.

You're right, though, that it's just an opinion - doesn't mean she's right - it just didn't meet her taste, which is clearly different to OP's.

Her remark didn't pass the test of: 'Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?'

I voted YABU as I think YABU to give a randoms opinion any credence.

When you go into a clothing shop do you like EVERYTHING available to buy? I certainly don't, but something I don't like will be loved by someone else as we all have different taste, styles and preferences.

She's living in another era. Fuck her.

She’s probably meaning it in a nice way and thinks it’d suit the new look even better shorter, I doubt she’d mean it in a nasty way, I also personally think after a certain age it needs to be kept shorter, just tends to age women more having long hair I think, just my personal opinion……..

I've met them! 'It may be your culture to be very forthright, i.e. bloody rude, but in my British culture we telll such people to piss off'!

Well, obviously you’re entitled to your opinion, but it stays where that kind of subjective, unsought opinion should, inside your head.

Enjoy the long hair. Not all Dutchies think long hair near/over 60 is a nono. I love it!

Not unreasonable. Tell her she's talking through her hat and it's none of her business.

65 here and bra strap strawberry blonde hair.
I have no understanding of ‘age appropriate hair’. Why is a thing?
Am constantly complimented on my hair and have been all my life.
It’s wonderful to still be flattered.
Be you and be proud OP.

@Fraaances
Yes I first started noticing signs of improvement when I started HR and other meds and then it accellerated rapidly during lockdown. Hope you are the same.
If you would like any advice feel free to DM me.

@ThymeScent It is a very useful phrase. I too use it for any situation for all sorts of situations.

She sounds arrogant, ignore her

My family is germanic and comments on other people's (women's!) bodies is their thing, they live to do it. I don't see them now that I'm an adult but it was relentless as a child.

You can be as blunt with her as she is to you. Ask her outright what your appearance is to do with her and why she thinks that you should give a fig for her opinion?

Or just put earphones in (colourful ones) and ignore her.

Enjoy your holiday, it sounds as if you've been waiting for this for some time. Don't let the vapid opinions of someone who doesn't matter spoil this for you.

Well, as long as you're prepared to be challenged and told to mind your own business and have your own appearance critiqued for good measure.

Nobody needs to be told anything about the way they look - unless they ask.

I am nearly 50 with mid back length hair. Fuck her.

What if you are 60+ and have never had short hair because it doesn’t suit you

Are you saying that regardless of what suits you, you have to have shorter hair as you get older

TBH I have known a few women who have grown out their short bobs and pixie cuts which really didn’t suit them and have longer hair and it takes years off their age.

Not exactly a spring chicken in looks yet with long hair and no make up people have thought I was 10 years younger

It was unkind and unnecessary of her, and she should mind her own business. I’m not surprised it has upset you, but remember that it is just her personal opinion, no more valid than anyone else's and not nearly as important as your own opinion.

Whatever you do in life you will never please everyone. If you’re going to choose someone to upset, let it be someone who’s opinion has no impact on your life.