To be upset that fellow holiday goer told me I'm too old for my hair?

[MoneyPieceNotMoneyShot]

I'm rising 60 and have been obese all my life, have just got it under control, gone on a glow up and have decided to Fuuckit and I've headed off on my holiday of a lifetime.

I've spent most of today with another solo traveller and quite enjoyed her company, but am fully aware she's from a more forthright culture than me. (A close friend from home is also this nationality so I'm fully aware of this conversational style).

As we parted company she said that she felt she had to tell me that at my age I should be considering getting my hair cut to a more age appropriate length.

I fricking love my hair, my hairdresser has been with me through literal thick and thin, and had particularly encouraged me nurturing my length after The Bad Bad Bob Incident of October 23.

Low self confidence and self esteem through being morbidly obese for 30 years doesn't lend itself to resilience, so I'm now in my room trying to distract myself and win the day back to no avail.

Aibu to be upset or am I a soft numpty?

I dunno....an off the cuff comment about age appropriate hairstyles can be a cultural mismatch, but when people "feel they have to tell you" something, surely that's rudeness whatever the culture?

First of all, I’m so envious of you heading off on your holiday of a lifetime, that sounds wonderful. This other woman is a nasty bitch. I don’t care what culture she is from, she was downright rude. I would have been very stung by a remark like that too.

However, she is no one to you, just an insignificant person you have met briefly. I certainly wouldn’t seek out her company again or give her any more of my time. Are you travelling independently or in a group? If in a group, just try to be open and friendly with others and I’m sure you’ll have opportunities to socialise with the wider group.

Don’t give her any more headspace. You have done brilliantly to achieve all you have, you should be very proud of yourself. Go out there and enjoy the rest of your holiday and have a wonderful time!

It is entirely up to you what your looks like. I would only comment if you had asked me and really wanted some feedback. I do not believe all women "of a certain age" look better with short hair, etc etc. If you feel good with your hair however you have it, it really doesn't matter what she thinks.

Why on earth do you care what one person out of several billion thinks?

All that matters is what you think.

Totally ignore her! What matters is that you like it.

rude cow.

Ignore it might be jealousy. I once had a friend who told me my birthday gift to myself, that I had saved years for, was ugly and too big. I stopped using it as I was so embarrassed. A few months later I saw her with the exact same one.

Taught me an important not to accept unsolicited opinions about my personal taste from others. As long as I get joy from it I’m fine.

You sound fab. Your daughter sounds fab. Your hair sounds fab.

As someone in their mid forties going rapidly grey with long hair, I have embraced not giving a fuck and encourage you to do the same 😁

I’d assume she is a jealous cow

I think lots of women end up getting the chop as they get older because of thinning hair. I’m late 40’s and hate that I can’t wear my hair long like I used to.

If you have the hair to make long hair work at 60 more power to you. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. Maybe others are just jealous.

Aww OP don’t be upset, it’s a shame she made her opinion known, I am sure your hair looks great, and as long as you are happy with it no one else’s opinion matters. I wonder if the lady was Italian, they can be very direct. A friend of mine had an Italian neighbour, she did her best to avoid her, as she just couldn’t take the criticism, some of the things she used to say to her really rocked her confidence.

Ignore!

(Does she work in a perfume department and say “no offence” quite often?)

sod that! Your body your choice! Weird when people come up with ‘rules’ like this for age grps, even weirder when they try to impose those rules on others.
You sound fab, so just keep doing you!

You sound like great fun OP! Don’t let some negative Nelly get you down. This age appropriate stuff is crap designed to make older women feel bad about themselves and keep them in their place. It’s misogyny. It’s shameful that other women buy into it.

I’m 59, slimmer and fitter than I’ve been in years, and have long hair and wear mini-skirts and don’t give a fuck. If anyone made a comment I’d assume they were jealous and laugh in their face.

You do you OP, and care not what anyone thinks. And congratulations on your weight loss 👏

I think maybe this random person has time travelled from the 1950s.
If you can say it fuck it and go on a wonderful holiday you can say fuck her opinions and ignore her.

I’m 50s with short hair, OP — and am very envious of anyone my age with long locks. I did try growing mine once but the growing out stage aged me so much, I gave up. I know if I could just get through that, I’d be happy, but it’s making myself persevere that I find hard. So if she says anything to you again, please tell her that Pockets not only disagrees with her but is very envious of you!

Ahha I got distracted by a very nice French man in the bar called, seriously, Nigel.

My new life rocks divorce becoming a distant memory yay.

Pre holiday Hairdresser shot, my attempts with hair implements look like a blindfolded Mr Tickle with the jitters had a go 😂

Hahaha I knew she had to be dutch! Yes, as @AnxiousAnnie1984 said, kort pittig is the horrible haircut this lady was referring to. It has to be too short to suit your face (if it's not, the hairdresser will make sure it is), and ideally dyed a shade of red or purple. It's a bit of a 90s/early 2000s cut to the rest of the world.

Please tell this Dutch lady that Linda de Mol is 60 now, and seems to be pulling off the long blond hair very well. (No doubt she'll reply jaaaa buttt that's different, she's famous 🙄). When you tell her she's being rude, she'll say she's just being honest. I've found that the best way to deal with these remarks is to say 'well, I love it and it looks beautiful, and I don't care what you think. Don't be such a trut.'

(Dutch has some great swears)

Love this! Brilliant response.

@MoneyPieceNotMoneyShot - WELL DONE for losing so much weight and having a glow up. All credit to you. If you have the strength and resilience to do that, you definitely have the strength to push back on this rude woman. Yes, being outspoken may well be a part of her culture (I say this as someone who comes from an outspoken culture), but being rude is not a part of anyone's culture. Having said all that, of course rude comments hurt. It's okay to acknowledge the hurt, but don't dwell on it - move on. It is only her opinion, after all.

Your hair is fabulous.

A dear friend said that to me in my mid 30s. Most of my life I've had all sorts of hair lengths, and at the time I was growing it. I took no notice and carried on. I recently found some photos of that time and was surprised at how lovely I looked. We are now both in our late 60s. I've just coloured my messy mop copper and burgundy, and feel great about it. It matches my colourful clothes. Meanwhile my iron grey haired (still dear) friend is desperate to fade into the background as she has been doing for most of her life. Me, not so much!

Over 8 billion people in the world, that's one person's opinion. And it sounds like it's based on cultural judgement not how good you look. Totally irrelevant. Next!

Gorgeous hair, jealous I expect. What was her hair like OP?

I occasionally get bitchy remarks from women who are keen to befriend me (because I am friendly) then show their true colours (envy) and the reason why they are alone and desperate for friends. And they are baffled as to why I don’t respond to their bitchiness or indulge any drama, but then simply don’t waste any more time on them.
Enjoy your fabulous hair!!!
Don’t spend any more time with her -seek out positive people.

She was gorgeous with a very chic bob. We'd had a very pleasant afternoon and I was quite sorry to see her go. Until the cutting adieu.

Embracing le francais a ce moment because Nigel 😉

Your hair is so beautiful! I hope to still have a lovely full head of hair like this at 60. I can imagine she was jealous. What was her hair like?