Anyone struggle with a purpose if childfree?

[butterfly172]

Hi,
I'm 42 and childfree by choice. I'm about to get married to a wonderful man and I'm a step-parent to his 3 adult children, whom all accept me and me them.

However, since my SD had her baby, I'm wondering what purpose I have in this life if I chose not to be a mum?

Does anyone have any advice? Feeling like I'm stuck in a rut of life and don't know what my purpose is if not a parent.

If you had to get rid of some part of your life… what would be the last thing you’ll give up?

Most important and biggest are different things.

DD is, and will always be, the most important part of the life I've built.

Right now, because she's small, she is the biggest part of my life. But one day, when she's my age and living her own life, the biggest part of my life will be different. Despite her still being the "most important*.

I am not the biggest part of my parents life anymore. And nor should I be.

Yes, exactly. I adore my son, but at just about to turn 13, while I still have a lot of parenting left to do, he’s not literally by my side or in a sling on my chest the way he was when he was a baby. He’s out at school, or seeing his friends, or playing football, and growing into a teenager who needs love and support and attention and boundaries, but who also needs space and privacy as he grows towards independence. And absolutely, my parents had five children, and we took up all their waking hours at one point. Now we’re all in our forties and fifties, we’re still important to them, but definitely not the biggest part of their lives any more.

The most fundamental part of who I am is a writer. I wrote before I had DS, I’m writing now, and I’ll be writing when he’s off exploring the world.

Are you suggesting life is pointless without children?!

I don’t think that, no. But there are mumsnetters who do imply that, and some even go as far as to state it explicitly.

I was mocking them.