MIL called me the wrong name…

[ThatTwinklyPearlSloth]

MIL really dislikes a family member (Sarah)

Whenever Sarah has been mentioned she’s been described as snobby, stuck up, miserable, awkward, always moaning about something and obsessed with money. I’ve only met her once so I can’t really comment on what she’s like but I never hear DP’s family say anything positive.

At a family meal a few months ago, MIL said to me “would you like another glass of wine Sarah?” Sarah wasn’t even at the meal so understandably I was a bit taken aback and hurt. Anyway, I brushed it off and didn’t say anything to DP. I did ask him a few days later if I was anything like Sarah he laughed and said of course you’re bloody not.

Anyway, she did it again last night after moaning about Sarah again. “Would you like some Prosecco Sarah?” I’ve got quite a lot going on at the moment and I could’ve burst into tears. I held it together until we got home but ended up crying to DP thinking MIL must hate me. He was understanding but says she really likes me and it must’ve been just a genuine mistake.

AIBU?

YANBU - you obviously remind MIL of Sarah in some way.

YABU - sounds like an honest mistake.

it is her not you
easy to forget names at a certain age
call her the wrong name with a wink?

I continually get names wrong … don’t know why, they just don’t stick. I do it with my siblings, niece and nephews etc, maybe it comes with having a big family.
You need to build your resilience up, this really isn’t worth getting upset over.

I think it’s an honest mistake. Sometimes I go through all of my kids names before calling the right one.

How old is she? It could be the start of dementia.
My mother calls me the cats name, dogs name.....

She was complaining about Sarah again so the name was on her mind and slipped out. I don't think it means she hates you.

Blimey, she's probably a slightly forgetful person mixing up names. Relax.

Goodness me, is that all you've got to complain about your mil that she called you the wrong name? I've read and seen far worse about female nastiness & bullying. Get a grip.

She’d just been moaning about Sarah and then the name was obviously in her mind and it was a slip of the tounge. That’s how I’d see the situation from what you have said. We don’t know her personality to say if it was an intentional move but what you describe sounds like an accident

It's easier to say the wrong name unintentionally when you're repeating a phrase, so might it be that MIL repeats this question to the real Sarah quite a lot? If she doesn't engage much with Sarah other than offering her a top up, it can be easy to accidentally tack her name on at the end rather than yours. Plus as you get older, slips like this get more frequent. (An ex boyfriend's mother would run through her entire family's names and then through the pets' names before she hit on the right one!)

It's most likely not malicious, but you're there and can see her facial expression - if there's a hint of a smirk there, I'd be more concerned.

She’s not calling you Sarah because she thinks you’re like Sarah, she’s calling you Sarah because she’s forgetful.

My mum often calls me the cat’s name when she being muddled- I don’t think it’s because she thinks I’m furry and I lick my own arsehole.

Huge over reaction on your part.

Perhaps MIL constantly obsesses about Sarah or she is starting to get a bit confused. Either way it's her not you.

On the second occasion at least, she had just been talking about Sarah so the name would still be in her mind. Hence why it slipped out.

My gran and great aunt used to call me by my cousins names and did the same to them. They were just easily confused and forgetful - it didn’t have some deep, dark significance.

I call the kids by the dog’s name and vice versa, it’s just getting older.

I work in a hospital as a healthcare assistant. Some days ALL my patients are called "Gary" or "Bill" just because the name gets stuck in my head during handover, or they're the first patient I interact with on the day! It's infuriating! If you have an otherwise good relationship with your MIL just smile a confused smile, laugh it off and say "I'm not Sarah!"

Getting names wrong is a common mistake, it doesn't mean the two people are similar to each other.

I do this all the time.!!.
It's not malicious at all.
It's just the old brain sorting through it's memory banks and getting it wrong.
My family laugh at me all the time.
I'm 73

As others have said, it’s because she’s forgetful. My MIL calls the kids the dogs name sometimes!

i can see why calling you a name of someone she doesn’t like feels a bit 🤨🤨🤨🤨 though.

Even if she did call you Sarah deliberately, are you really concerned about being liked by a woman whom repeatedly moans on like that about one of her relatives? It sounds pretty dire, everyone sitting round the table listening to her go on like that.

My sister in law constantly muddled up her husband name and my late DH name! She probably said the wrong one more often she got the right one!

It's nothing to do with how she feels about you. You're massively overreacting to cry about it..

My mother in law runs through lists of family members names before she gets the right one, sometimes the dog is included 😆
Chill.

Sarah was on her mind and so that's the name she said. If she had been talking about someone whom she absolutely idolises and called you there name in error would you think "oh she must think I'm just like her. She really thinks I'm amazing?"

My name was the same, always started with the oldest cousin and worked her way down! I was 2nd youngest!

We laugh about it now!

People do this all the time! I can’t even begin to understand why you’d think this was such a big deal.
You sound very insecure.

Tbh the opinions of people that are bitchy aren't worth worrying about too much.

Do you notice if she uses the wrong name for other people? DS’s and the dog’s names are quite interchangeable in this house!