Page 7 | To think if you’ve been beautiful all your life

Itssundayiminlove · 2025-03-16T19:45:09+00:00

It must be very difficult to age? I was lovely looking when younger, ok older, but never beautiful or even pretty, but nice when younger. I have a friend who I haven’t seen for a few years, she was always absolutely stunning. I’ve just seen a picture of her and there’s a big difference in how she looks now (we’re mid-late 40’s now) It got me thinking how that must be even harder than for the average person ageing?

Arraminta · 18/03/2025 10:20

SallyWD · 18/03/2025 10:08

Indeed - humans are very predictable in terms of what they find attractive. More so than we'd like to believe.

Show quote history

We really are, overall. I watched a documentary (might have been the same on with the facial grid?) where behavioural scientists produced 25 images of various people. They then asked a random selection of other people (different ages, sex, race etc) to rank the images in terms of their 'beauty' from 1(most beautiful) to 25 (least beautiful).

The images were ranked in almost exactly the same way by everyone.

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 18/03/2025 10:23

Yes, it’s things like symmetry, even skin tone, plump lips, big eyes. Shiny hair. And of course high hip to waist ratio for women. It’s all about subconscious messaging on health / reproductive capacity. For the vast majority of the population, anyway.

Pinkandcake · 18/03/2025 10:24

seanconneryseyebrow · 18/03/2025 08:56

I was a very awkward looking child and then became stunning (so I was told) at 15 and stayed that way. I’m 50 now and still get told this. I could t give a shit. I’m autistic so maybe that’s why. My daughter is the same. It’s kinda wasted on us which I think is a shame.

@seanconneryseyebrow sorry I didn’t mean to quote you!! This was meant for
@SallyWD

I think that’s the point the pp is making, there are vert few truly beautiful people. I agree Margot Robbie is stunningly beautiful. She’s picture perfect and every element of her face is perfect, teeth, eyes, skin, nose. Same with Brad Pitt, and I agree with you that though he’s not my types, objectively he’s extremely handsome.

The vast majority of people
aren’t that level of attractive/beautiful. Many more people are nice looking but I’ve never seen a Brad Pitt or Margot Robbie walking about around here… 😳

Arraminta · 18/03/2025 10:24

Pinkandcake · 18/03/2025 10:17

This! The parameters of being beautiful are small and that’s why it’s generally considered to define the most attractive people, of which there are very few in reality.

The majority of movie star celebs and are extremely good looking/beautiful and let’s be honest, part of the reason they got the gigs in the first place.

Plenty of nice looking, pretty, attractive folk, especially with good lighting, good hairdressers and make up and most people can look decent, but beautiful is another level in my world.

Show quote history

Definitely. My cousin was a fashion stylist back in 90s London and worked with some famous models. She said it was virtually impossible to take a bad photo of the models because their facial proportions were basically perfect.

That was what made them models.

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 18/03/2025 10:27

Is there not also a difference between “striking“ and beautiful/pretty? I know I’m stared at regularly but it isn’t cos I’m pretty, it’s cos I am unusual looking in a number of ways.

Lyannaa · 18/03/2025 10:31

NewMagicWand · 16/03/2025 20:12

It is hard, yes. I've been considered very beautiful since I was 16. There's no denying that I was very good looking in my twenties especially. The kind of looks that make people fall off their bikes.

Sometimes I catch myself in the mirror these days and I'm actually shocked. I still look good for my age and I'm still regularly pursued and complimented. But I know I used to look drop dead. I do miss it.

It's like that line in Fleabag where she says she's worried about losing the currency of youth. I'm still good looking, but I'm obviously not young and beautiful. I used to have so much currency.

I appreciate this all sounds conceited but it is accurate.

Did it help you though? I would say my looks haven’t been particularly useful for me. I attracted hoards of shallow, dickish men.

Loubylie · 18/03/2025 10:33

I was never beautiful but I got loads of unwanted attention from men especially when travelling overseas or just when I was in another city for work. I'm so glad to be free of it. I love travelling now. I learned to be cold and unfriendly to avoid hassle. Now I can talk to anyone and be as friendly as I like.

Lyannaa · 18/03/2025 10:33

Arraminta · 18/03/2025 10:24

Definitely. My cousin was a fashion stylist back in 90s London and worked with some famous models. She said it was virtually impossible to take a bad photo of the models because their facial proportions were basically perfect.

That was what made them models.

Show quote history

In that case, why on earth all the filtering? The filtering has reached a new level of ridiculous today, of course. Whether you’re well known or not.

Pinkandcake · 18/03/2025 10:34

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 18/03/2025 10:27

Is there not also a difference between “striking“ and beautiful/pretty? I know I’m stared at regularly but it isn’t cos I’m pretty, it’s cos I am unusual looking in a number of ways.

Yes I think striking is definitely used in some situations where someone looks unique. I think it can also mean really attractive

seanconneryseyebrow · 18/03/2025 10:34

I dunno about this. Symmetry makes some pretty or good looking - isnt beautiful something extra special - huge lips, massive eyes or cat eyes, snub nose, - I think something has to unusual and outside the norm to be beautiful. Eg julia Roberts is beautiful because she has an oversized mouth, Kate moss cos her eyes are really far apart but somehow it still looks gorgeous it shouldn’t. I’m really surprised that the beautiful people had 90per cent symmetry. I mean even Angelina who by most people’s standards is the most beautiful woman in the world - has HUGE eyes and lips. Monica belluci has that lovely bigger top lip than bottom which I think is beautiful.

also, to make it even more complex, beauty standards change over time. So cheekbones were not considered beautiful 100 plus years ago. Chubby cheeks were. Probably because it symbolises wealth. And white skin rather than tanned. Fatter rather than skinny. Now that I find fascinating that what we actually find attractive isnt personal and is at least a little influenced by social norms. Fascinating

grooveraidiator · 18/03/2025 10:39

never been beautiful but i have one very beautiful friend ive known since early 20s: not carrying extra flab but not slim, waist defined, slim legs, slim rib cage. Nicely behaved hair but extra smart when she worked at it. Good even skin tone. Nice facial bone structure: nice shaped eyes, defined good sized nose and jawline etc.

20 years on she is still striking even with skin on face less tight/slightly loose and more lines: still got great features, nice eyes/brows and a nice jawline.

I dont think it's harder if you start pretty and then age because you always have the backing of good features and bone structure. you'd not go from having beautiful bright blue almond shaped eyes to droopy, rounded but bulging eyes.

just my opinion and what i've noticed.

Arraminta · 18/03/2025 10:42

seanconneryseyebrow · 18/03/2025 10:34

I dunno about this. Symmetry makes some pretty or good looking - isnt beautiful something extra special - huge lips, massive eyes or cat eyes, snub nose, - I think something has to unusual and outside the norm to be beautiful. Eg julia Roberts is beautiful because she has an oversized mouth, Kate moss cos her eyes are really far apart but somehow it still looks gorgeous it shouldn’t. I’m really surprised that the beautiful people had 90per cent symmetry. I mean even Angelina who by most people’s standards is the most beautiful woman in the world - has HUGE eyes and lips. Monica belluci has that lovely bigger top lip than bottom which I think is beautiful.

also, to make it even more complex, beauty standards change over time. So cheekbones were not considered beautiful 100 plus years ago. Chubby cheeks were. Probably because it symbolises wealth. And white skin rather than tanned. Fatter rather than skinny. Now that I find fascinating that what we actually find attractive isnt personal and is at least a little influenced by social norms. Fascinating

Yes, but symmetry and proportion are two very different things. Yes, Angelina has huge eyes (so does Mila Kunis) but their eyes are perfectly symmetrical.

hydriotaphia · 18/03/2025 11:25

When I was younger I had two friends, in separate friendship groups, who were drop-dead model beautiful. They were both quite paranoid about their looks, constantly checking themselves in the mirror, wouldn't go out, even to the gym or the corner shop, without make up, and were generally worried about how people perceived them. I do think it was (among other personal factors) due to them realising how much their looks got a reaction from others and developing a feeling of dependency on that reaction. It made me realise that beauty can be a burden for some people. Yes, I am sure it is even more true as one ages.

NewMagicWand · 18/03/2025 11:34

Lyannaa · 18/03/2025 10:31

Did it help you though? I would say my looks haven’t been particularly useful for me. I attracted hoards of shallow, dickish men.

Show quote history

It has helped and hindered me.

With men, it can be so difficult to work out if they actually like me as a person or not. I have attracted a reasonable number of cads. Men project their ideal woman onto me - and some of them can turn quite nasty when I don't fulfill their expectations.

I feel like my personality is an irrelevant factor to men wanting to date me. I'm in my early forties and I gave up on serious dating a while back.

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 18/03/2025 11:40

Disturbia81 · 17/03/2025 08:09

This. I find women more beautiful as they age, providing they look after themselves (and I don’t mean surgery and fillers etc)

It’s a bit of a nasty thread OP, surely we should be lifting each other up. You sound bitchy.

Show quote history

It's hugely ironic that you're bitchy about people looking after themselves, but only if they aren't using surgery and fillers...

Some people just coast by on their looks (yes, even if they look after themselves by means approved by you!), and are quite pathetic when they lose that attention and realise that they never bothered with a personality too.

I've been sexy and gorgeous and fat and haggard, and I'm only 36. But I've never felt invisible because I'm always an opinionated soa and so.

NewMagicWand · 18/03/2025 11:48

Foostit · 18/03/2025 07:28

@NewMagicWand
By that logic around 75% of us must be gorgeous. Old Mavis on my FB friends list must be stunning because people keep telling her she is. Bless her but she really isn’t. I must look like I’m in my 20s because when I go out with my daughters people ask if I’m their sister! Just caught sight of myself in the mirror and I look every minute of my age this morning! Back in the day when it wouldn’t have resulted in a law suit, I got a job and a promotion due to being ‘a bit of alright’ I cringe at this now obviously. Was it because I was breathtakingly beautiful, was it fuck! It was purely down to absolute creeps of bosses.
Trying to illustrate here that it happens to most of us and does not mean we are anything special. It’s down to human behaviour, and so called beauty is very subjective. I wonder why you are so unwilling to entertain this idea! If everyone of us listed a celebrity we considered to be beautiful right now, there would be a wide range of opinions.

I can see for myself in the mirror that I'm classical good looking. It really is very obvious.

I'm sure I'm not every single person's cup of tea - and neither would I want to be - but I still am a very good looking woman. I know that as well as I know that I'm right handed.

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 18/03/2025 11:48

Arraminta · 18/03/2025 10:24

Definitely. My cousin was a fashion stylist back in 90s London and worked with some famous models. She said it was virtually impossible to take a bad photo of the models because their facial proportions were basically perfect.

That was what made them models.

Show quote history

I have one stunning eye, and one ok eye, and good photos depend on the balance of the two :D

My son has inherited the stunning shape on both sides and his eyes are just gorgeous.

Cattery · 18/03/2025 12:18

NewMagicWand · 16/03/2025 20:12

It is hard, yes. I've been considered very beautiful since I was 16. There's no denying that I was very good looking in my twenties especially. The kind of looks that make people fall off their bikes.

Sometimes I catch myself in the mirror these days and I'm actually shocked. I still look good for my age and I'm still regularly pursued and complimented. But I know I used to look drop dead. I do miss it.

It's like that line in Fleabag where she says she's worried about losing the currency of youth. I'm still good looking, but I'm obviously not young and beautiful. I used to have so much currency.

I appreciate this all sounds conceited but it is accurate.

Agree. I find I have to be much nicer now I don’t have the same looks. I’m puzzled when men don’t take a blind bit of notice of me like they would have 40 years ago. Perhaps that sounds pathetic x

Lyannaa · 18/03/2025 12:24

NewMagicWand · 18/03/2025 11:48

I can see for myself in the mirror that I'm classical good looking. It really is very obvious.

I'm sure I'm not every single person's cup of tea - and neither would I want to be - but I still am a very good looking woman. I know that as well as I know that I'm right handed.

Show quote history

I agree. Nothing wrong with knowing you’re very attractive.

NewMagicWand · 18/03/2025 12:26

Cattery · 18/03/2025 12:18

Agree. I find I have to be much nicer now I don’t have the same looks. I’m puzzled when men don’t take a blind bit of notice of me like they would have 40 years ago. Perhaps that sounds pathetic x

Show quote history

I don't think it's pathetic. You get habituated to people responding to you in a particular way.

I got so used to people staring at me.

Cattery · 18/03/2025 12:30

NewMagicWand · 18/03/2025 12:26

I don't think it's pathetic. You get habituated to people responding to you in a particular way.

I got so used to people staring at me.

Show quote history

Yes. I know I should be grateful for how my life has turned out: a lovely dh sons and a great family but I’m sad too that I’m not the dolly bird anymore. Like you say, you get used to being one kind of person and then you have to adapt to being another. Oh well I do the best I can to look good x

Arraminta · 18/03/2025 12:33

NewMagicWand · 18/03/2025 12:26

I don't think it's pathetic. You get habituated to people responding to you in a particular way.

I got so used to people staring at me.

Show quote history

I must admit I do miss getting immediately served at the bar, even if there were people ahead of me. And getting waved through by the bouncers on the door at clubs and getting in for free. That was nice.

But in reality I'm rarely in a bar and my clubbing days are long gone, so it's absolutely fine.

NewMagicWand · 18/03/2025 12:48

Cattery · 18/03/2025 12:30

Yes. I know I should be grateful for how my life has turned out: a lovely dh sons and a great family but I’m sad too that I’m not the dolly bird anymore. Like you say, you get used to being one kind of person and then you have to adapt to being another. Oh well I do the best I can to look good x

Show quote history

You're still the same person x

NewMagicWand · 18/03/2025 12:50

Arraminta · 18/03/2025 12:33

I must admit I do miss getting immediately served at the bar, even if there were people ahead of me. And getting waved through by the bouncers on the door at clubs and getting in for free. That was nice.

But in reality I'm rarely in a bar and my clubbing days are long gone, so it's absolutely fine.

Show quote history

Yes, it's all those little things that you get used to.

It's pretty privilege. It's a real thing.

I do hate how shallow it is though.

Stanislas · 18/03/2025 13:14

Thought I might mention that I had a French pen friend who was striking almost Italian in looks. I think belle laide is the best description and I have spent months with her on exchanges etc and I have seen men fall over their own feet and cafe tables on many occasions. She always Laughed . She had brains too. My aunt was a hairdresser and for some reason where she worked the visiting stars were went to her. She said Elizabeth Taylor was the most beautiful woman she had ever hairdressed. No make up and stunning eyes. Lana Turner came a close second but possibly a bit before Mumsnet time. Sadly no one has ever called me pretty. Not even DH.