To think if you’ve been beautiful all your life

[Itssundayiminlove]

It must be very difficult to age?

I was lovely looking when younger, ok older, but never beautiful or even pretty, but nice when younger. I have a friend who I haven’t seen for a few years, she was always absolutely stunning. I’ve just seen a picture of her and there’s a big difference in how she looks now (we’re mid-late 40’s now)

It got me thinking how that must be even harder than for the average person ageing?

I find that I like myself better as I age and become less attractive to men. When I was younger, I was very deferential, I acted in ways men wanted me to act and I wasn't really "me". Now I am more assertive, I stand up for myself and I'm proud of my achievements other than looks. I think I have more depth as I age and it's all positive. I think it's hard to lose your looks if you don't evolve as a person at the same time.

Did you tell him?

Try not to read that stuff, it’s depressing reading so much negativity on here.
So many women acting like they’re on the scrap heap!
I feel better than ever as do my peers
If you work out and keep your eating healthy then you can keep your waist and figure.

I think I did?

I think your waist comes back again after menopause finishes though!

I’ve already explained that I think it’s conceited because different people think different people are attractive. How can you possibly know who I find attractive? Very presumptuous. It (unfortunately) reminds me of that One Direction song ‘that’s what makes you beautiful’

Sure they do. But do I fit the universal standards of beauty e.g. symmetrical face, small nose, big lips, big eyes, clear skin? Yes I do.

I agree with you. If you see my posts upthread, there have been scientific studies that show that the parameters of what is universally considered 'beautiful' is quite narrow & specific. In fact it's almost a mathematical formula when it comes to facial proportions etc.

Granted, out of a 100 people, your looks might not appeal to a handful? But it's just silly to pretend that the vast majority of them won't find your symmetrical features, large eyes, full lips, clear complexion etc aren't beautiful.

Thank you. I'm genuinely not meaning to sound conceited - it would be lying to say I'm not conventionally attractive.

I don't know - maybe it sounds like I'm saying I'm better than others, but I was born like this. I used to model as a baby, before I had a serious accident as a toddler. I look fine again now, but I had terrible scarring as a child and people were much colder and unpleasant to me in general. I remember it very well. People are just a lot kinder to you when you look good - apart from certain men and women who see it as a reason to be horrible to you.

I mean, if you're beautiful, you're probably never going to look bad. An example is Olivia Newton-John. While she obviously aged, I think she looked beautiful until the end of her life.

She's in her early seventies here and has gone through many years of cancer treatment. She looks her age, but she's still clearly very beautiful, imo.

I'd love to see photos of the formerly beautiful posters in their heydays! Not to be mean or anything; I'm just really curious! If anyone felt like posting today's photos for comparison, that'd be great, too! I bet you're all still gorgeous. 😍

Off tangent a bit but I think it's really misogynistic to pretend beautiful women shouldn't understand they are beautiful. Like it's a negative character trait to believe that. Arrogance is a different kettle of fish to just logically knowing you are generally thought of as attractive. Are you telling me women like Margot Robbie or Anne Hathaway or Kate Hudson or whoever don't know they are attractive? Yes I'm sure they are aware they aren't everyone's cup of tea but are you telling me that they don't know deep down that they would be thought of as beautiful by most people?
Do we all have to pretend as women to be unaware of our appearance but also keep on top of looking our best?
It's so fucked up.
Some women getting slated on this thread for neutrally saying that they are pretty.

So true

Do we all have to pretend as women to be unaware of our appearance but also keep on top of looking our best?
It's so fucked up.

That's the bit that gets me about it. There's so much pressure on women to look good, but also at the same time to pretend they think they're ugly even when objectively they aren't. What is that about?

And if you are lucky enough not to have a dodgy thyroid like me.

Well, some of them are and some change so much that you’d barely recognize them in old photos. I know a few ppl like this IRL and it’s abit shocking tbh. I also know many who are still very attractive so it all depends on the individual.

Some people look also look better in middle age than they did when young! It’s often those who were abit skinny and gawky-looking in their 20’s but grow into their features over time. They look better at 40 than they did at 25.

I'm still waiting, sadly. 50 now. Maybe when I'm in my 60s I will have grown into my features.

@ObelixtheGaul I’m sure you look great!

Some ppl just look better when they’re no longer rail thin and have figured out what suits them style-wise iyswim. I have a couple of friends like that, they’ve kept fit, taken care of their skin, and know what suits them. They were fairly pretty in their 20’s and now look very attractive in middle age.

Oh, I agree, some do, definitely. Sadly, not me. I have good skin, and a figure that's OK (could do with losing a little, etc) but I really don't have a pretty face. Never have had. The cool thing is, it's way less of a problem now I am older. Bloody awful when I was a teen. No amount of makeup and hairdos make up for shitty bone structure, though I tried to hide my awful square jaw and lack of defined cheekbones with it all.

@ObelixtheGaul My hair is my bugbear, it’s fine and flyaway, turns into a frizzy mess at the slightest hint of moisture. I’ve seriously considered having it cut v. short and wearing wigs. Even if the rest of me looks ok, my hair lets me down!

It's a pain isn't it. Mines the same and coarse/thick to boot, but I need it to give at least some semblance of shape to my face.

Wigs could be a plan, though, but good ones are awfully expensive.

Yes! Jane Goodall is another good example.

I actually think women reach ‘peak beauty’ in their late 30s.