To think if you’ve been beautiful all your life

[Itssundayiminlove]

It must be very difficult to age?

I was lovely looking when younger, ok older, but never beautiful or even pretty, but nice when younger. I have a friend who I haven’t seen for a few years, she was always absolutely stunning. I’ve just seen a picture of her and there’s a big difference in how she looks now (we’re mid-late 40’s now)

It got me thinking how that must be even harder than for the average person ageing?

@MeliusMoriQuamServire
I hate to break it to you but it’s very common for women, especially under 30 get that sort of attention from men, usually unwanted. It certainly happened to me when I was younger but I’m not posting about how breathtakingly beautiful I am because I’m not and the vast majority of us aren’t either! Most of us are actually average looking. People also seem to be forgetting that we all have a different idea of what is considered beautiful too. Some of the celebrities mentioned on this thread by posters as having always been beautiful I would personally consider to be average looking at best.
The original point of this thread was whether women considered stereotypically beautiful (of which there are few!) find ageing more difficult than most. As usual with these posts the comments are filled with humble brags about how posters made others fall off bikes due to their amazing beauty. This may very well happen but certainly not to the extent it’s claimed on this thread!

My aunt used to be stunning, like a young Bridget Bardot. She hated it! She hated the way men reacted to her. She absolutely loves being invisible now and said she can finally be herself. Not everyone likes being beautiful.

My Mum had a friend that considered herself very beautiful, I’d say she was attractive and dressed very well. God she was hard work, constantly fishing for compliments and touching up her makeup or looking in the mirror. Her daughter is very beautiful and is nothing like her, she’s in her fifties now and likes a drink and a good time but male attention has stopped her ever marrying or having a family. She’s always had a side relationship along side her main relationship.

Nope. Am thrilled with ageing. I was frequently exoticised as a young woman and my looks and ethnicity fair game as a conversation starter or banter: "Oh, you're from X, all your sisters must be as Y and Z as you, I suppose?". It was a different time.
I feel grateful for undoubtedly having benefited from my good looks in many ways, but that doesn't mean I miss it now.

This. I find women more beautiful as they age, providing they look after themselves (and I don’t mean surgery and fillers etc)

It’s a bit of a nasty thread OP, surely we should be lifting each other up. You sound bitchy.

Yes becoming invisible probably hits harder when you've had a lot of attention when younger. Cry me a river - I've been ignored / belittled by men all my life due to my worthiness to them being linked to my lack of physical attractiveness. So makes no difference to me and tbh I like being older and no longer giving a fuck!

Definitely this. My Aunt was a model back in the early 60s. She's now 81 but still very beautiful, with great bone structure and posture. It has little to do with her age either, as she will always be more beautiful than most women regardless of what age they are.

Just as an aside, I think that actress Louise Jameson who plays Mary in Emmerdale is beautiful. I've just googled images of her from her younger years and, although there was nothing wrong with her then, I think she looks far more striking now.

Beautiful people aren't stupid, they mature too, they'll be aware at 45 they don't look 25, though for most people aged 45 they have bigger priorities than seeking the male gaze.

Echoing pp's age might make them less Beautiful for a 20 year, who wants a 20 y.o males attention in their mid 40's.

My MIL is very beautiful and she has struggled a lot with ageing (we've known each other over 20 years now). I think a lot of her family and her ex husband (they married at 19 and 20) made a very big thing of it, so I feel like she was made to feel that being beautiful was her thing - where her value lay. And that ageing, becoming less visible and struggling with dating later in life (with men her age only interested in women 10 years younger) hit her very hard.

She is still very beautiful at 80, it's a bit sad that it has been hard for her. She has many golden qualities other than her looks.

Looking back I was quite attractive when I was younger. Not the falling off bikes type but more double look in the street, or likely to be bought a drink in a bar. I also paid very minimal attention to my appearance.

Now I’m older and my face in particular hasn’t aged well, it has sagged. No wrinkles but I’m droopy. It’s hard to reconcile and I miss the ease with which I went through life when I was younger and more attractive. But I’m also thankful for my health and for what remains, I’m trying to celebrate what I have.

I don’t wish to be invisible however, unlike some of the other posters. I’m happy to be noticed, included, involved.

I was told, once I reached my 30s, that I was very pretty/beautiful, by quite a lot of people. I didn't believe them, because my mother was the sort of person to deliberately squash down any sign of self -esteem (she having been a beauty queen in her youth).

So if it's true, that I have some kind of beauty (and let's face it, beauty is subjective- there are many famous women who have been called beautiful that I look at and think 'meh'), then I haven't ever depended on it for my sense of self.

However- at the age of 56, I am happy that I have good cheekbones, that I moisturised from a very young age, and that I have naturally blonde hair that doesn't show the very few grey hairs I have.

And I'm happy that my DP seems to believe I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. (It helps, I'm sure, that at our age we need reading glasses, so when he looks at me without I'm probably a bit blurry 😁)

HA!

I am utterly ordinary looking and I am still finding ageing difficult (early 50s).

Firstly, there is more to ageing that your face. I hate the way my office job is making me stiffer than it used to. I hate the way I injure more easily and recover more slowly. I hate the way if I stop being active, I deteriorate physically more quickly than I used to and its harder to get my fitness levels up again. I hate my deteriorating eyesight,. I could go on. It fucking sucks. And that's without even starting on menopause..

And ordinary looking women attract male sexual partners too you know. So yes, I have found my changing face and decreasing sexual attractiveness to men hard to cope with too. And then the judgement from women on here for being bothered about this. It should be ok as a heterosexual woman who likes sex to say you find your declining attractiveness to men hard to adapt to, but remarkably, there are women who will chide you for this. 🙄

with men her age only interested in women 10 years younger) hit her very hard.
That's normal for men, it is no reflection on her, men have a weird confidence with an entitlement to younger, slim, stunning woman, even when they are the complete opposite to their desired woman.
My DH is in love 19 years later, not based on my new wrinkles and tired skin but because he isn't shallow and we're a team.

I’m in my 60’s and stunningly beautiful but unfortunately there is an old hag who keeps following me around and jumping in front of the mirror when I am trying to do my hair/makeup.
She even has the audacity to go shopping at the same time as me and block the mirrors.
Any advice how I can get rid of her so the world can gaze in awe at my beauty? 😁

I can say this now without vanity as I am ancient, but in my youth, right up to my 50s I was extremely good looking. I was often compared to the young Elizabeth Taylor and one day my mother said to me when we were out that she loved being out with me as she could see people do double takes, or turn around as we passed. I am now a bit plump and wrinkly but can still scrub up well and try not to dwell on my lost looks. It's pointless and comparison is the thief of joy after all.

I agree with this. It amazes me how many beautifully breathtakingly stunners there are on here, baring in mind, the vast majority of the general public are average looking.… 🤔

It seems attention from men is a benchmark as to how attractive a woman is but as you say, most woman get attention from men, especially when younger.

I was always slightly below average growing up and actually look far better and get more compliments now I'm nearly 50, probably because I have a slim.figure, blonde hair and a nice (thanks nvisalign).smile.

Still not enough to make anyone fall off a bike for me though.

I totally agree with this! I’m a little bit bemused if I’m honest. I’m 39 (40 this summer so not far off) and I look pretty much the same as I did at 29 believe it or not! Obv there will be some subtle differences, but literally that’s all it is. There hasn’t been some rapid decline or turning into a totally different person. I feel just as good too. I’m not a conceited person at all so I feel bad typing this, but for the purpose of the question asked I’ve always been considered very pretty by others and I still get lovely compliments now. My aunt was a model and she’s absolutely beautiful at 53. She doesn’t look old, overweight or “menopausal” which seems to be a popular comment.

Disagree.

They will age with memories of being beautiful (and probably will remain beautiful, age doesn't stop an already beautiful woman being beautiful imo).

I am aging like an old hag. I look like a potato. It's hit me hard that I will never, ever, ever know what it's like to be beautiful. Ever.

I'd find it easier if I had been beautiful at some point and know I'd experienced it, even if I'd lost it... But I'll never get it now. I'll never know what it feels like to be pretty. Ugly to start with, and aging like... Something that ages badly. Feels bad.

I came on here to say this too. Some people don't know how lucky they are. At least they've had the experience of being desired, admired, feeling good about how they look! I have never ever been found attractive. And I'm still aging badly - how do you think that feels? And I get awful, awful comments from men about how ugly I am. I have had those comments since I was about 9.

That's so unkind. Ignore those horrible people. I'm sure you are beautiful inside and out. And I think men are quite shallow sometimes, but the ones worth knowing love women regardless of their perceived flaws ❤️

I disagree I work in a large female dominated industry and my gosh every day I think how lovely some of these young girls are (and not at all because I’m not blinded by their youth).

if you were attractive when you were younger (9 times out of 10) you know you were and it’s not just attention from men either. And not every young woman gets attention.

I’ve seen women that turn heads (when men and women alike have a second glance), most people who have ‘it’ know they have it and confidence also tends to exude them.

i fully believe the women on here who say they were (and I’m sure still are) beautiful/attractive/pretty.

its not something people would admit outside an anonymous forum either - for fear of comments like this to name one reason!

You and your aunt just sound lucky really! I'm average looking but feel like grief, medication and genetics have come for my looks in the last few years and I'm late thirties but in the 'overweight' and 'menopausal' looking category . It is what it is.

doesn't sound conceited at all. You're saying it as it is.