To think if you’ve been beautiful all your life

[Itssundayiminlove]

It must be very difficult to age?

I was lovely looking when younger, ok older, but never beautiful or even pretty, but nice when younger. I have a friend who I haven’t seen for a few years, she was always absolutely stunning. I’ve just seen a picture of her and there’s a big difference in how she looks now (we’re mid-late 40’s now)

It got me thinking how that must be even harder than for the average person ageing?

well done for saying it.

But we’re not talking about pretty or attractive are we? The OP specifically used the word Beautiful.

Lots of people are pretty, but words like beautiful or stunning generally describe the epitome of perfection. Most people fall within the realm of average, nice looking, pretty, attractive but beautiful is generally saved for the most attractive of all.

Yes it could be semantics but most people aren’t ’breathtakingly beautiful’. I see you use them interchangeably and that’s fair enough but imo there is a difference between pretty and beautiful.

@Pinkandcake
Exactly! Everyone on Mumsnet has bike accident worthy beauty, they are a maximum of a size 10, eats nothing but healthy food (for their one small meal every 2 days!) They earn an 6 figure salary and have beautiful sporty children with IQs over 130 who have impeccable manners. I can only assume that I’m not fortunate to live within a 200 mile radius of anyone else on MN because this picture of perfection does not represent my local community or anywhere nearby! 😂 Some on here clearly have no concept of the meaning of the word average in any sense!

Exactly, I know 🤣 I think the same!

Same, I get chatted up, approached, stared at far more now in my mid 40s, and looking at photos I look much better.
My teen photos are awful. Same with all my friends
I guess all women have a different age where they feel they look their best, it’s just sad that so many think that’s the young years.

Thank you.

It's something you can't talk about as a woman. How many people wanted me to post a picture so they could tell me I was actually not as attractive as I think I am? It's just one of those things I'm aware of - if you're very attractive, everyone around you will let you know.

It's just so weird that I have to pretend people don't say that to me and that I can't see in the mirror that my face is conventionally attractive, big eyes, symmetric etc. And to boot, I've got a really good figure to go with it! But I'm sure women would also love to tell me about how I'm imagining that as well, even though I've got a classic hourglass figure.

I don't understand the need to try and take other women down a peg or two. I was just born like this! I didn't choose my looks. I've had it all my adult life. It's bizarre.

fair enough I don’t see beautiful as any different to pretty and attractive (just part of the same scale. To me if we look at 3 women; Jennifer Anniston (90s) was pretty, Julia Roberts was attractive and Kate Moss was beautiful) - I guess that’s a whole other topic (op would need to confirm the scale of what she meant by beautiful and who that was compared to).

I would probs argue that those who spent their youth getting a vast amount of admiration for their looks are the very same the op is referring to. And I imagine that it is what other posters are commenting on.

I also guess beauty is different to different people so it’s hard to judge on an anonymous forum, but I would take a guess as to the people claiming they were beautiful (or a variation of attractiveness), it’s likely they were a ‘beauty’ enough that they were noticed repeatedly for their looks and had that affirmed therefore their stories about their ‘beauty’ fading resonate to what the op first described.

if you were once young and attractive enough to turn heads, have admirers ‘flocking’, use your looks to your own advantage then getting older can be a tough pill to swallow! You can start to feel invisible with age! this is what I took from the ops opening post.

😬

I've always been the fat one with the wild untamed hair i never knew how to properly care for. Add in my hirsutism and the fact i have no neck, i'm like a snowman, round ball of head plopped onto shoulders. I've absolutely never been beautiful, or even pretty. Hell I don't think i'd even say plain, just unattractive/ugly.
But i massively notice facially im not aging as fast as my peers. Partially being fat so more plump face, but a big chunk being illness making me housebound from my mid teens so i've avoided so much skin damage from sun, polution, never wearing makeup etc. Some of it good genes definitely on my dads side, mums i cant judge as lost her 15 years ago at 48 sadly. I'm 35 with zero wrinkles or lines whereas i notice alot of my schoolmates are getting quite lined, aged looking eyes now. Its a bit surreal tbh, as i think i am genuinely ageing better and look a lot younger than some of them now. Not prettier, but could pass 5 years younger than most, possibly 10 than some.

@NewMagicWand
Your post sounds very conceited.
People tell others that they look beautiful all the time just to be kind, doesn’t mean they are. I’ve been told I’m beautiful or pretty many times, (maybe not as often now I’m older) but that doesn’t mean I am. I’m not a munter but I’m nothing special either. Many men hassle any woman they think they have a remote chance with. Tonight alone I noticed on my FB feed that there are photos of other women being told they’re beautiful or stunning when in some cases they are far from it. Their friends and family commenting just want to be nice and boost their confidence and there’s nothing wrong with that. Then again that’s just my opinion, beauty is very much in the eye of the beholder. For example, I’ve seen Andi McDowel and Julia Roberts described as beautiful on this thread, I can’t see that at all but Kate Moss and Jennifer Anniston I would agree with. There are very few people who everyone would unanimously agree were beautiful.

I was quite physically attractive for a brief period in my mid-twenties and it came as a shock to me how differently people treated me (I had been very ill from about age 14 to 24, which affected my appearance). People smile at you, they laugh at your jokes more, conversations start from a place of accepting you rather than presuming you might be strange - if you know what I mean? And the 'currency' a PP mentioned was very nice to have.

I had just got used to it, but very suddenly at 34 seem to have become invisible again and was naively a bit surprised when younger people began treating me as 'older'.

I don't mind too much, but I do wish I'd got to enjoy it for longer.

I don't think it has anything to do with how you actually look and it has everything to do with how you feel about yourself.
Not all people you consider beautiful actually feel beautiful.. and many people you wouldn't peg as beautiful might be incredibly preoccupied with their external appearance.
I tend to think that most people gain a bit of wisdom as they age and kind of stop caring so much.
My mum was extremely beautiful when young and as she has aged she's remained very stylish. She doesn't look like she did when she was 20 but she has this air of glamour about her. She still gets attention. And she's 70! She can't move for men trying to do things for her.
And it's confidence and expectation really.

When I look back at pictures of when I was younger I think my face was actually very pretty. But I certainly didn't know it at the time. I had zero confidence but was very neurotic about my appearance, spending hours upon hours getting ready to go out in public. In photographs I looked beautiful.
But I'm actually relieved to be older. I don't wear makeup, I don't shave, I hang about in jeans and tshirts. And actually in some ways I feel like a weight has been lifted. I felt like an imposter wearing a mask when I was pretty.

This is exactly what I'm talking about. Of course I couldn't possibly be as attractive as all that, right?

Well I'm sorry but the truth is that I do have classically good looks. I just do. I am not allowed to say it for some reason - maybe have a think about why you're so keen to disbelieve me.

It's certainly not just people being nice. There are myriad ways you know you're good looking. It's obvious by the way people treat you - not necessarily by what they say. I remember how people treated me before I grew into my looks. It was very different.

I wasn’t unattractive in my 20s, I was a petite, slim blue eyed brunette with a nice figure. But I didn’t get asked out much. Lacked confidence I think.

Older good looking People are still good looking

"Of course I couldn't possibly be as attractive as all that, right?" Of course you can be, ya beautiful wummin'

to others though @NewMagicWand you are good looking and you know it.

Slightly smacks of arrogance tbh?

@NewMagicWand
By that logic around 75% of us must be gorgeous. Old Mavis on my FB friends list must be stunning because people keep telling her she is. Bless her but she really isn’t. I must look like I’m in my 20s because when I go out with my daughters people ask if I’m their sister! Just caught sight of myself in the mirror and I look every minute of my age this morning! Back in the day when it wouldn’t have resulted in a law suit, I got a job and a promotion due to being ‘a bit of alright’ I cringe at this now obviously. Was it because I was breathtakingly beautiful, was it fuck! It was purely down to absolute creeps of bosses.
Trying to illustrate here that it happens to most of us and does not mean we are anything special. It’s down to human behaviour, and so called beauty is very subjective. I wonder why you are so unwilling to entertain this idea! If everyone of us listed a celebrity we considered to be beautiful right now, there would be a wide range of opinions.

@Thisshirtisonfire @KimberleyClark
Exactly! It’s all about confidence! It has a huge impact on how others interact with us.

Not sure I agree with you. There are people who are universally considered beautiful and they will get a lot more attention. I think people like Margot Robbie and Brad Pitt are generally acknowledged as being very attractive. Of course there's a variation of tastes. For example, i don't actually fancy Brad Pitt. He's not my type and I'd turn him down if he asked me out. However, I can still see he has very classic good looks and is handsome.
And yes, while I agree that most women will get attention, compliments, told they're beautiful, there's a huge difference in the experience of someone who's reasonably attractive and someone who's stunning.
For example, I'm reasonably attractive and have been told I'm beautiful/pretty many times. Throughout my life I've had a moderate amount of interest from men. I've had two friends who are absolutely beautiful and their experiences are off the scale compared to mine. My childhood friend really can't walk down the street or go to the supermarket without a great deal of attention, comments etc. She gets asked out by complete strangers. I've been on holiday with her many times and it was an eye opening experience just to see how differently she gets treated compared to other women. I know what it's like to be a fairly attractive women but my experience is world's away from hers.
My other beautiful friend used to be a colleague. Again, it blew my mind to see the reaction she got from male colleagues. They seemed to be incapable of speaking to her without a glazed, enchanted expression. I saw grown, married men fell hopelessly love with her.
Of course, my two friends know they're beautiful after a lifetime of these experiences. They could come on here and say they're beautiful but you'll respond "No you're not, all women have these experiences. Mavis on Facebook has exactly the same experiences as you." It's simply not true.
And yes, everyone finds different people beautiful but some women (like my friends) seem to be admired by 99% of men.

I was a very awkward looking child and then became stunning (so I was told) at 15 and stayed that way. I’m 50 now and still get told this. I could t give a shit. I’m autistic so maybe that’s why. My daughter is the same. It’s kinda wasted on us which I think is a shame.

Ouch! 7 years interrupted sleep sounds like hell, without everything else 💐.

I don't recognise it at all. I see far more beautiful women than not too, so it just baffles me.

Actually the parameters of what is considered 'beautiful' are surprisingly narrow and almost universally accepted. Basically it all boils down to symmetry and a specific set of proportions.

Interestingly, scientists devised a digital 'grid' with these specific proportions that they overlaid on the faces of 100 celebrities/actors/models who were generally considered 'beautiful'. And I think in 90% of them their facial features exactly matched the proportions of the grid.

Indeed - humans are very predictable in terms of what they find attractive. More so than we'd like to believe.

This! The parameters of being beautiful are small and that’s why it’s generally considered to define the most attractive people, of which there are very few in reality.

The majority of movie star celebs and are extremely good looking/beautiful and let’s be honest, part of the reason they got the gigs in the first place.

Plenty of nice looking, pretty, attractive folk, especially with good lighting, good hairdressers and make up and most people can look decent, but beautiful is another level in my world.