All crime docs are about men killing women!

[SwoopDog]

I was trying to find somehing to watch on Netflix last night. Looked at crime documentaries. They're all about men killing women. Or men killing children.

I like a bit of true crime sometimes, but it's actually too much. What the hell have we been putting up with over decades and centuries! There was a guest on Steven Bartletts Diary of a CEO who said the most dangerous person to a woman is her husband! I believe it. We've taken this shit for too long.

Yeah it's true in all aspects of life. I might find the behaviour of a female unacceptable and the person next to me might say oh your being too sensitive.

My point is just because some women don't find it inappropriate doesn't mean men have free rein to act like pervs. It would be nice if men thought some women may be offended or feel awkward at this behavior so I won't do it to any women ever.

Yeah it's true in all aspects of life. I might find the behaviour of a female unacceptable and the person next to me might say oh your being too sensitive.

But are you scared of being physically hurt, raped or murdered by a female? Does their behaviour make you feel humiliated because they're only behaving that way towards you because of your sex? The power dynamics are different so it's pointless comparing male and female behaviour.

My example involved a man who was much bigger and stronger than me behaving in a threatening way. ( and them telling me I wasn't allowed to be threatened because he identifies as a lesbian and if I objected that made me a bigot .... but that's a whole other issue 🙄)

My point is just because some women don't find it inappropriate doesn't mean men have free rein to act like pervs. It would be nice if men thought some women may be offended or feel awkward at this behavior so I won't do it to any women ever.

Exactly 🙌

Why does the conversation always turn into how women react to male behavior rather than the male behavior itself?

Some people have lower, some have higher standards of behaviour in all aspects of life. Some think eating dinner on a sofa is ok, others think it's not. Thats fine.

But when your behaviour makes someone else, anyone at all, uncomfortable, it is always condemnable.
I had a female colleague who was very aggressive in her communications and i addressed it because it made me feel uncomfortable.

A senior male colleague seems to favour me and keeps on touching my back, which makes me super uncomfortable, and therefore is wrong. But why is it that im not able to call it out? I just have to avoid him now? Because he is senior, well liked, well respected and i would get told 'he doesn't mean anything by it' and i would be labelled as a troublemaker. 100%. I hate the fact how we are meant to operate in this biased world.

Of course I wouldn't expect to be raped or murdered by a woman but due to being slim I would still feel physically threatened by an aggressive woman. If we are going down the route of talking about every little aspect of men then I dont think we can ignore that women can be truly awful. Yes its different to sexual behaviour but you can easily say there are plenty of nasty vindictive dangerous women out there. Women can make other women (and men) feel very bad, just in other ways than sexually.

Because many women like @Anchorage56 are still conditioned to accept behaviours and norms from men that other women are fed up with.

I'm glad she's here, engaging in this conversation. Maybe one day she might realise that women too have the right to set the standard of how we want to be approached, looked at and treated. Because behaviour is not objective. If it makes anyone uncomfortable, it is wrong. And more often than not, it is the men who make women uncomfortable. Not the other way around.

And if you don't see that, you're either in denial. Or you live in an alternative reality, where i assure you we'd all happily immigrate to.

Everyone can set the standard of how they expect to be treated as high as they want. I do that.

So you say. But then go on about how everyone has different standards etc.. Just because someone accepts being hit or raped it doesn't make it legal.

Thats why we have laws. And thats why we have this conversation. If it makes anyone feel uncomfortable or unsafe, it shouldnt be allowed. Collectively. And women should defend women. They should not be (bad) male behaviour apologists.

And maybe you should move to where I am. Where I am the women seem pretty tough and outspoken. If there was a group of females hanging about littering and a group of males doing the same and I was told I had to approach one group to tell them to pick their litter up- 100% I would choose to approach the male group. If I approached the female group I'd expect a very sore nose after the encounter.

Who thinks rape is legal? But I dont live in a world where I would say most men behave poorly and pretend women dont. I'd say some men behave badly and some women behave badly. The majority of both sexes are just bumbling through life like the rest of us.

Of course I wouldn't expect to be raped or murdered by a woman but due to being slim I would still feel physically threatened by an aggressive woman. If we are going down the route of talking about every little aspect of men then I dont think we can ignore that women can be truly awful. Yes its different to sexual behaviour but you can easily say there are plenty of nasty vindictive dangerous women out there. Women can make other women (and men) feel very bad, just in other ways than sexually.

It's interesting (and depressing) that conversations about male violence against women ALWAYS ends up with people saying 'but women can be violent too'.
Yes, of course they can but we're not talking about that are we?

Two women a week are murdered by men - usually by their current or former partner.

97% of women have experienced sexual harassment (guess who is doing the harassing?)

Women as a group alter their behaviour due to fear of being harassed or attacked by men.

1 in 4 women in England and Wales will experience domestic abuse.

Show me where women, as a group are behaving in a way that results in men (or women) experiencing the above?

Everyone can set the standard of how they expect to be treated as high as they want. I do that.

Nice bit of victim blaming there .....

Yes and that's what the original post talked about and it then gets so diluted that every aspect of being a man gets brought up right down to oh he may watch porn or earn more than a woman. And I'm sorry but you cant put all men into this category that unless they live like a saint they may be on the spectrum of potentially being a rapist or murderer. That's what makes me inclined to remind people of female behaviour too.

And there we go! I knew it. Classic enabler!

Its not Saintly to behave in a way that does not make anyone uncomfortable or afraid. Thats basic human manners.

If you dont expect the same from men, then you are a part of the problem.

Men kill other men more than they kill women.

Why are crime docs focusing on men killing women? Is this something people are more interested in than male on male violence so therefore higher audience figures?

More women than men consume true crime documentaries, so do the producers focus on men killing women as the target audience is more likely to empathise with a female victim than a male one?

Because Dog Bites Man isn’t a news story while Man Bites Dog is.

They are newsworthy because they are vanishingly rare compared with men killing, well, everyone.

And why are you only referring to men? Do you not realise how women behave? You just have these labels you like to throw about all the time. Am I an enabler of bad female behaviour by not calling it out, or does enabling only refer to men?

Yes I'd say so

Yes and that's what the original post talked about and it then gets so diluted that every aspect of being a man gets brought up right down to oh he may watch porn or earn more than a woman. And I'm sorry but you cant put all men into this category that unless they live like a saint they may be on the spectrum of potentially being a rapist or murderer. That's what makes me inclined to remind people of female behaviour too.

No it's not all men, we know that. But it is men and it's not always easy to see which ones are the good ones.

Reminding us about female behaviour is just an attempt to minimise the issue of male violence against women and girls.

Yes it's not easy to tell who is good and who is bad.

Because it is not female behaviour that is the problem globally. It is male behaviour. And that's why we tak about it.

Well like I said no one disputes the fact that most violent or sexual crime is committed by men.

Well like I said no one disputes the fact that most violent or sexual crime is committed by men.

They why do you feel the need to talk about violent women in this context?