All crime docs are about men killing women!

[SwoopDog]

I was trying to find somehing to watch on Netflix last night. Looked at crime documentaries. They're all about men killing women. Or men killing children.

I like a bit of true crime sometimes, but it's actually too much. What the hell have we been putting up with over decades and centuries! There was a guest on Steven Bartletts Diary of a CEO who said the most dangerous person to a woman is her husband! I believe it. We've taken this shit for too long.

Stop trying to put all women into your category. I dont walk out of my house feeling scared, I dont wide step past men. Most women I know are strong, confident happy with life. Plenty have loving husbands.

I'm glad you're in this discussion @Anchorage56
It is exactly men like you who whip out these empty statics to try and prove your point that its 'not all men'.

Obviously we know it's not all men, but can you remember the last time you were afraid for your safety in the presence of another person? When you felt a feeling of threat coming at you? When someone crossed your physical boundary? Because i can tell you for women it's constant.

I'll have a go at my own 'statistics'. I would say maybe 4% of men are completely decent and respectable. The majority are all varying shades of dodgy. Porn, strip clubs, prostitutes..they exploit the vulnerability of women. Emotionally and financially controlling relationships. Utter selfishness. Not seeing their partner as an equal. Texting and sexting. Groping. Being inappropriate with their words or actions.

And then the rest. Its a sliding scale. Maybe it is your 4% who actually go on to kill.

Yet many of the live trials shown are about women killing men.
Always find that puzzling.

Read the post I put up just before you posted this one. No I dont live my life feeling any of those things you mention. How do you even get up in the morning if these thoughts consume you? You should see a counselor or therapist.

I find it interesting that 1 in 4 women have been sexually assaulted or raped and 1 in 6 children (most experts agree it is likely much, much higher than this) .. Yet such a high percentage of men are supposedly good guys.

I see this said a lot on these threads but it really doesn't make sense to me. I really don't think most men are good people at all, at least not in my personal experience.

Males account for 75 per cent of all convictions each year. They account for 93 per cent of all murder convictions and more than 99 per cent of all rape convictions.

And we all know that rape convictions are at less than 2% of actual rape reports.

My friend was raped on a date, the man admitted it and also apologised via WhatsApp when she confronted him and then he went back on it and threatened her. Unfortunately she waited too long to get a rape kit done, but she still had his messages, a photo of bruising and also her word.

And the police told her that she would unlikely get him a conviction and it would cause her more stress than it was worth.

How many women are told to bugger off?

How many children?

I was told at 8 that I was making up porkies and my father was a very nice man.

Women are treated like dogs (I actually think animal cruelty gets more of an uproar).

@Anchorage56 I am not scared for my own safety. This is not about me.
You sound like a classic enabler.

I would be willing to bet that the wonderful husbands in your circle of friends are up to all sorts when no one's looking..

If your that angry about these sort of issues then at least get involved with organisations that help. Volunteer your energy into helping rather than moaning about men. You could start volunteering with charities that educate on FGM for example as that is another form of violence against women that is often not talked about.

@Anchorage56 I think moaning about fellow women (and children) being murdered and abused is exactly what we need to do. And we need to voice these things often. And publicly like this forum!

Mumsnet is wonderful! This is a place of support for so many women to figure out difficult life situations. Including past and present abuse. The advice women give each other here, i am certain, has saved lives.

The facts speak for themselves. Women are treated horribly all around the world. The other women who turn a blind eye and enable it to continue are also very much to blame.

Ok but I really dont think being so bitter and grouping so many men together is going to do anything to help the division between women and men. And if you want men to change their behaviour I dont see how posting on a predominantly female place is going to do anything?

@Anchorage56 Im posting to start a discussion. And you are discussing this with me 😄

We, as women need to set higher standards for ourselves and look out for each other. If we turn a blind eye on male toxic behaviour and still keep on going out, marrying and having children with them regardless, and not holding them accountable, we are part of the problem.

I am raising two future men at home. I love them and do my everything to teach them real respect and equality. And it is not simple.

Not in our house - its me who chooses to watch them, my dh hates them

Your earlier post said you wanted men to stop being violent and myself and another poster asked what you thought could be done. The thread itself started off talking about true crime docs on netflix which was what caught my eye 🤣 I'm not really sure what the discussion is as it seems women here are well aware of the issues.

OP, you say you want a discussion but I actually do not think that's true. Whenever people have disagreed with you, you've been extremely aggressive and dismissive of what they have to say. I actually think you just want people to agree with you that pretty much all men are shit. That isn't the experience of all women by a long way.
Many women do actually have positive experiences with quite a few men but that doesn't fit into your worldview so you just instantly dismiss that.

Yep, in our house it's only the women who watch them. The man rolls his eyes and goes to bed with a book.

Actually I think women need to be more bitter and even angry about this. I say let the division grow. Women need to choose themselves more and with higher self-esteem and respect choose men who see them as equals and treat them with respect. Let subpart men die lonely.

There's obviously a bias on the part of documentary makers towards certain types of crime. In any event:

• The chance of being killed by your partner is extremely low.
• The chance of a female murder victim having been killed by her partner is quite high.

People confuse the two.

As others have said, it is True Crime, not fiction. Fiction usually has a jaded woman who kills kids and her husband etc etc when it is far far more likely that would be a man in real life. With femicide at a global high I think we would do well to pay attention.

Yep, because it doesn't affect them, until it happens to someone they know. Women are watching to discover what makes them more likely to be a target and what kind of man does it, or clues. Sadly all men seem capable of it, given the right circumstances and they rarely seem to think of the consequences.

I do not believe that women are watching these programs to get tips on how to stay alive. That's a complete and total fantasy. And saying that all men are Capable of murder Is utterly meaningless. It's just as true to say all women are capable of murdering their children.

Do y'all have Snapped? It's a whole series about women killing people. There are almost 750 episodes.

Well you can do all that without being angry and bitter. Remember its angry bitter men that we complain about.

If you see injustice it is perfectly fine to be bitter, angry, unhappy etc etc about it. Depends how you channel it. But I do not see these emotions as flaws in women. For too long we have let men and it is mostly men shame us about perfectly naturally feelings of being subjected and subjected to sexism.

In general men channel their own bitterness in far more destructive forms. I am perfectly fine with them being bitter about their/other men's bad behaviours too though. They can join the club! Better yet they can speak to other men about it and actually be listened too.

I'm the only female in my house. I love the men in my life. However, im under no illusion that that they are capable of shit. Not respecting their wives, expecting them to put up with various behaviours etc.. I still have hope for my dc and im trying to raise them right, but the attitudes especially the older generation just stink.
Its 'not all men' but its too many of them.

And when we see women being constantly murdered in their homes, walking outside minding their business, walking their dogs etc.. We should get bitter! These men are husbands, brothers, fathers and sons! We cant collectively turn a blind eye and say 'Well MY husband is lovely, so i don't know what you're on about'

I am aware that some people commit murder, rape etc but you cant walk around concentrating on that all the time. Life is tough. Bad things happen. People including women can be arseholes. You just have to make the best of it, make your life as good as it can be. You will never live in a world where bad things dont happen.

@Anchorage56 Why does it bother you that some posters seem angry and bitter? Are those not emotions not allowed for a woman? Or just not allowed in relation to the subject of violence and murder?

And just to clarify. You seemed to draw the perfect conclusion here yourself: Angry and bitter men murder. Angry and bitter women moan on a public forum. See?