All crime docs are about men killing women!

[SwoopDog]

I was trying to find somehing to watch on Netflix last night. Looked at crime documentaries. They're all about men killing women. Or men killing children.

I like a bit of true crime sometimes, but it's actually too much. What the hell have we been putting up with over decades and centuries! There was a guest on Steven Bartletts Diary of a CEO who said the most dangerous person to a woman is her husband! I believe it. We've taken this shit for too long.

Yes depends how you channel it. And believing that its the majority of men who do these things is not helping anyone. I'm not referring to you on that but OP.

I am very glad there were people who decided to so something when my people were salves in the west indies. There will always, so long as we remain human, be some people who can not sleep on injustice. Not all will be able to achieve much in their own lifetimes but you never know who they might inspire or what changes they might be the progenitor off.

It just feels like stating the obvious to be angry that some men commit murder etc. Feels like your using that as an excuse to bash the whole of the male population. I hope your sons dont know how you view men.

So the idea that most men are horrid and we need to be scared of them is helping who exactly?

it actually bugs me how often women are murderers in fiction, and how many male victims of rape we see.

For sure it happens, but it is tedious when it is just used as an "AHA!" by the directors

@Anchorage56 The opposite actually. Not believing that it can be the majority of men is actually not helping anyone. The systems will not change if we don't point a bright light to it and call it out as it is.

I don't mean majority of men are murderers obviously. Majority are a varying level of decent/dodgy. I've seen very respectable family men get up to things they shouldn't. I mean, do you ever even read mumsnet?

Things that i do to change the dynamic:
-I don't laugh at sexist jokes
-I dont nod along or laugh at mens stories just because they expect it. Only if genuinely funny/entertaining
-I don't assume a gender based on profession
-I don't use my femaleness to get things for free/ discount / help
-I don't expect a man to come and sort my life /car /finances out for me.
-I don't flirt to get my way

I work in the justice system, have for a long time, the level of violence against women and girls is astounding

Why isolate only one idea and your perception of that idea at that? I think many women in the world are already quite scared of men and I doubt OP is going to change that.

In general however, I think knowledge is power. Who knows what women are lurking on the thread, doing their own research into things and waking up? Time will tell.

And what systems do you want to change? I do all those things you mention as standard without even thinking about it- except getting my car fixed, I cant do that myself so I take it to a garage and I've never come across a female mechanic where I live so its men I rely on for that.

@Anchorage56 I teach my sons the difference of a good man and an awful mam on a daily basis.
They listen to rap music and it is vile. The lyrics are all about pussy, how did she squeeze into those jeans with that booty, shes a gold digger, she has 3 babydaddies etc etc.. Objectifying and disrespectful. So, yeah. I teach them the difference. How to be a good man. And what not to be/say/view others.

Would you like them to read your comments on here? What effect do you think that would have on them? Would they grow angry and resentful towards their own mother and where would that lead?

And all romances are about women cheating...

Bit of a generalisation there...

Have you actually read all the OPs posts?

@Anchorage56 I hope they would agree that they don't want to be a part of the type of male culture we talk about here.

I have these conversations with them all the time. They have many male role models around them. Some better than others. And one very strong mum.

Try Lucy Worsley's Lady Killers podcast.

True crime, and female perpetrators, viewed through a feminist lense. Sadly some victims are children, even babies, but lots are husbands and oppressors!

Fabulous though often very very sad.

Strong?

Not at all.

It's what angry and bitter men do that's the issue.

Well according to OP that's about 96% of the male population! I dont know how she leaves her house

@Anchorage56 Yes. I consider myself a very strong person.
Mentally and emotionally. Physically not so. Im 5'3 and tiny 😄
I won't tell you my life story obviously. You seem to be the type of person who enjoys turning everything someone says against them. I've known a few of your type in my life.

Im glad i started this discussion though. Your engagement in it is strong. Some things are worth the fight!

I mean, that's because men are much more likely to be deadly violent.

It's true among other mammals too.

What's your AIBU?

Er..no, it's not.

So for balance, the first four episodes of Lady Killers:

Woman kills abusive husband
Woman kills unsuitable lover who threatens to expose their affair
Woman kills father and step mother
Woman kills male employer and female superior

Go and have a listen

In the same way that you want to help women by suggesting that most men are bad. If I can help someone who is feeling negative have a different perspective and realise there are plenty good men out there then it's been worth my while too. I've been there in the past. Something "bad" happened with an ex or something, makes you feel shit, makes you angry and negative. You wonder why all men are like that. You watch the news lots of reports of crime against women and it adds to your anger. It's so easy to get caught up in that mindset and you only suffer more yourself.

@Anchorage56 I'm not suffering. And i don't hate men. Quite the opposite on both counts.
I am glad that as a woman im allowed to speak my mind publicly and shine light on the shit so many of us have to go through. And i love the men in my life. And hope they do better than the ones before them.