All crime docs are about men killing women!

[SwoopDog]

I was trying to find somehing to watch on Netflix last night. Looked at crime documentaries. They're all about men killing women. Or men killing children.

I like a bit of true crime sometimes, but it's actually too much. What the hell have we been putting up with over decades and centuries! There was a guest on Steven Bartletts Diary of a CEO who said the most dangerous person to a woman is her husband! I believe it. We've taken this shit for too long.

Right ok I believe you 😳

This isn’t true. Have seen plenty of ones about men killing men as well. And the odd one about a female killer. Or an unsolved murder. We all know men commit murder more than women so it’s not exactly a surprise that there are more about male murderers.

@SwoopDog I get your point, I just wanted to add that I'm afraid of men in general. I hate to have to say that, given that I'm raising one, and I've tried not to be, but sadly experience has taught me to be afraid.

In a way, I think that fear is useful, because it's made me cross the road when I've thought I've been followed in the dark (3 times, I've genuinely been followed) , it's made me more watchful and allowed me the chance to scream loudly when a man tried to drag me into his car, and it will make me wary of getting into a new relationship because I know predators often target lone mothers. I was once attacked by a man on a train, in a carriage with only men in, and they all turned the other way - so that fear means I'll do all I can to not be the only female in a train, even if that means a more expensive, or less convenient journey.

I'm not afraid of men I know, in general, and am fine working with them, or with family members etc, it doesn't affect my day to day, but I am always aware that if I'm to be harmed, it'll likely be by a man.

I don't know what the answer is, I'm afraid.

Yes, same for books, film, TV series, but I guess it's reflecting reality. I can't bear to see or read any of it. I know it happens but it's not entertainment.

I refuse to be scared of any man but I'm fully aware of what a man/men could do to me. I don't think anyone is saying women need to fear every man they meet the point is the level of male violence is astounding. And yes we know it's not all men but it's almost always men.

This is why l don’t watch them. I dislike the genre and it pisses me off that that’s mainly all there is to stream.

l know there’s others, but the majority are crime dramas.

This. It’s tedious. Give me killing eve any day.

Of course when a violent or sexual crime takes place its likely to be a man, that's not disputed that's fact. It was OP I was referring to and her views of the majority of men. And this idea that we arent allowed to say that it's only some men and we have to say it's the majority of them.

I think there's a spectrum. Few men are murderers but lots are rapists and abusers. Then there the ones who are creepy and inappropriate. The NAMALT really irks me and I am personally very vocal about the behavior of a lot men. As a PP said every murderer or rapist has a mother/wife/daughter/sister. I'm sure a lot of the wife's of the accused in the Pellicot case didn't concieve that their husbands were our raping an unconscious women.

Creepy and inappropriate is getting into something different. Different women have different views on what they think is creepy or inappropriate. Cases like pellicot make the news for a reason. That's not an every day occurrence.

I was referring to what you said, not the OP.

Yes I know you were

I disagree that it's something different I think it's further down the spectrum of male behavior. I agree that women have differing views on what they deem appropriate (or what they will put up with or feel they can't reject). But I also think that we're then putting the bad behavior of men back on women. How women react to inappropriate male behavior is not a good marker for whether it's appropriate or not. I've done the nervous giggle thing myself before my brain and anger has caught up with me. Men know full well what behavior/language is appropriate or not. It's funny they know not to say something or behave a certain way in front of their wifes or partners. The Pellicot case was the extreme but on the other end of that there are "good" men just pushing it a touch too far with the women around them every day.

If a woman doesnt feel upset or angry or violated or scared or creeped out or yucky and feels absolutely no negative emotions around her interaction with a man then I would suggest it's not creepy or inappropriate for her.

Crime documentaries aren't going to be made in proportion to the crimes committed though are they? If you want to be outraged by violence against women then better look at the actual statistics first.
I imagine crime docs are going to be interesting cases, ones that aren't easily solved etc, and mainly, for some reason viewers of true crime documentaries are mostly women (google says up to 80%) so they will be made to appeal to the target audience, and I imagine women killing people isn't it.

I'm not disagreeing that women are more vulnerable and violence is sickening and depressing, but judging off what you see on the TV isn't reasonable imo.

It may not be creepy or inappropriate for one woman but it may be creepy and inappropriate for the next. And given that men know this behavior is not proper perhaps they could just stop it and then we won't need to discuss how women react to inappropriate male behavior.

I love true crime docs but yes it’s awful they exist at all. That so many men take life. The ones that really get me are when a man murders his wife and kids and then himself. Just fucking kill yourself!

@Anchorage56 I think you need to tell us where you live, because if the men in your reality are loyal loving husbands i want to come and live there!

Where is this place where men don't take advantage of women in the bedroom or domestically? Don't need to be told what to do at home and carry an equal load of home life? Get paid the same at work as women and are happy about it? Don't cross women's boundaries and call each other out for doing so? Don't watch porn because they know its unethical? Are loyal and trustworthy? Support their women in pregnancy, chilbirth and everything that comes after? Take full responsibility of their actions? Don't objectify women based on their physical attributes, but see them as whole, separate individual beings, allowed to exist on their own right without a function?

Where is this place? Because i'm definitely not living there!

It’s called LalaLand 🙄

That's why I said different women have different views on what is creepy or inappropriate. Some women may get offended some wont. For example some women would label getting woolfwhistled as harrassment some dont.

Yes you are right your definitely not living here. It must be very scary where you are. And once again you have went on this big long tangent about men in every little aspect of life when your original post was getting angry at murder and violence. As I suspected it's just an excuse to be negative about every aspect of men.

@Anchorage56 I'm afraid it's not about different views. It's more to do with what you've accepted.

I get the feeling that your standards on male behaviour are quite low. You've probably had to just ignore and accept things for a quiet, pleasant daily life which flows without much drama. So much so that you accept things that maybe once you would have felt uncomfortable with. We all do that. I have done that.

But nothing changes if nothing changes.

Like I said before dont assume all women are in the same category as yourself.

Creepy and inappropriate is getting into something different. Different women have different views on what they think is creepy or inappropriate

True, but who is right?
At the weekend I was out with 2 friends. We had an encounter with a man which two of us found creepy, inappropriate and a little scary. One of my friends didn't bat an eyelid and told us there was nothing to get upset about.

But we're only having that discussion because of the way a significant number of men behave.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=thou+savage+woman&crid=1W1J7V1ESULZD&sprefix=Thou+%2Caps%2C152&ref=nb_sb_ss_mvt-t8-ranker_1_5

I recently read this, lots of female savagery in here! Although, most of it justified imo.