All crime docs are about men killing women!

[SwoopDog]

I was trying to find somehing to watch on Netflix last night. Looked at crime documentaries. They're all about men killing women. Or men killing children.

I like a bit of true crime sometimes, but it's actually too much. What the hell have we been putting up with over decades and centuries! There was a guest on Steven Bartletts Diary of a CEO who said the most dangerous person to a woman is her husband! I believe it. We've taken this shit for too long.

@GarlicStyle that scale you posted is great! That's exactly what i meant with my different shades of dodgy 😄

@Anchorage56 Woolwhistles and all that nonsense you're trying to defend, makes women feel uncomfortable. That's it. The women i know who put a lot of importance of being viewed as sexy or hot by men, are usually the ones who struggle with self esteem and they need daily feedback / validation from the world (men) to tell them they're desirable from the outside. Its a shame because every woman is worth so much more than their boobs and bums. These are just body parts.
I like looking at beautiful women! (And men too) Women are gorgeous! But its one thing to appreciate someone, than seeing them as walking sex object you could do things with. Sexualising someone when they're just walking around minding their business is gross!
I like looking nice, but i do it for myself. Not to be desirable to a random on the street. They don't have that right. Just because im a woman. And i shouldn't have to not look nice just because the men of this world don't understand boundaries, and letting someone mind their business without harrasment.

But average men are killers and rapists.

@SwoopDog Women are gorgeous! But its one thing to appreciate someone, than seeing them as walking sex object you could do things with. Sexualising someone when they're just walking around minding their business is gross!

Hands up who has had this happen when they were in school uniform?

<counts all women on this thread>

you slipped up there assuming that I must have been slagging women off if I'm a woman who is prepared to call out sexism against men.

In what way have I slipped up? This doesn't even make sense.

You have been at pains to suggest that women are just as violent as men and in some posts you've suggested women are worse.
You fail to ignore the issues around systemic oppression, you victim blame and your comments on 'toxic feminism' are straight out of the incel playbook.
All under the guise of sticking up for the average man - who doesn't need sticking up for in the first place!

Hands up who has had this happen when they were in school uniform?

<counts all women on this thread>

By my dad's friends mainly.

I'm a female, who sees violence against women in my line of work regularly, and also ask and support the question asked. so, what practical suggestions do you have?

What would you do to start changing men's attitudes towards women?

I challenge casual sexism every day, even from women. I have always worked in male-dominated environments and in a position to challenge stereotypes in those environments so attitudes will hopefully begin to change.

I even challenge what appears to be my default position as a wife and mum at home, it's hard, they do get it but it's so deeply ingrained in so so many people's subconsciousness, it's not until it's challenged that even many seemingly decent people don't realise they can fall foul of it.

I hope one day enough attitudes will change so women won't be at as much risk of harm from men and I try to be part of that change.

I'm afraid you can silence what a man is allowed to say but you can never stop the thoughts in his head. So I'm afraid if a man wants to view a woman sexually he will, if he wants to imagine her naked he will. Men will look at boobs and bums and legs. To say a man doesnt have the right to look at you sexually doesnt make any sense.

I meant average as in the higher percentage.

I have never suggested women are as violent as men. I have clearly stated that the fact is men commit more violent and sexual crime.

I said if we are going to include every tiny aspect of things a man could do wrong then at that point you cant deny that many women display just as bad behaviour

When did I victim blame?

Toxic feminism was about looking into the future and putting another angle on where too much unfair negativity could lead.

So if that means I'm a misogynist- then no wonder you think 50% of the population are misogynist!

I said if we are going to include every tiny aspect of things a man could do wrong then at that point you cant deny that many women display just as bad behaviour

Example?

If you'd have said many killers and rapists are average men, then I would have agreed with you.

But to say 'average men are killers and rapists' is vile and a simple statement a man-hating.

You've let the mask slip there are given an insight into your prejudice.

Watching porn, it being unfair men earn more than women, men being lazy around the house. These were all mentioned as reasons why men are horrid.

Yes, please. I would like to silence what a man says.

I have many things in my head that i don't say out loud. Many times when i've been angry at someone i've though 'shut the fuck up' but i have never said it to another person because its abusive.

Its called self-censoring to avoid hurting another.

So yes. I believe men should self-censor. And i think they are clever enough to learn to do so.

You didnt read my post properly- i said you CAN censor what they say out loud.

But you just don't think they should? Because you like the attention they give you for your own ego boost?

And in terms of victim blaming it was the OP herself who said that women should have higher standards and by marrying and reproducing with certain men these women are part of the problem. Now I'm not one for using labels but I do believe that's called victim blaming!

😆 you're really good at this! You sound like my exh! Who i divorced for being abusive and gaslighty!

I said if we are going to include every tiny aspect of things a man could do wrong then at that point you cant deny that many women display just as bad behaviour

Just as bad behaviour? How many men a week are killed by their female partners?
How many men are raped?
How many men are subject to sexual assault or harassment for just going about their daily lives?

Toxic feminism was about looking into the future and putting another angle on where too much unfair negativity could lead.

You think calling out toxic masculinity is unfair?

So if that means I'm a misogynist- then no wonder you think 50% of the population are misogynist!

Where have I said that 50% of the population are misogynistic? I think you are misogynistic and I've based that on the things you've said.

Oh a couple more labels thrown in there! You can say what you want but when I do its suddenly gaslighting and abusive.

I watched a two-parter on Netflix the other night about a case of very serious female on male domestic abuse ('My Wife: My Abuser'), @SwoopDog . Definitely worth a watch, but as you say, an anomaly amongst the sea of male-on-female related true crime docus.

At one point in the programme, a female detective cried as the victim related what his wife had done to him, and told him she was so sorry about what he'd been through. Cynical me does wonder whether she shows so much empathy towards FEMALE victims or has just become inured to it all when it's a woman.

I cant believe I'm having to explain this again- when I was talking about women being capable of behaving just as badly as men it was in relation to the posts where every little thing men do that's not saintly was being brought into the equation so at that point i pointed out that women are capable of bad behaviours too. Now do you disagree with that?

It wasnt toxic masculinity that I was disagreeing with it was OPs blatant prejudice to any human with a penis.

The 50% was a representation of the fact that roughly 50% of the population is male and plenty posters here were trying to suggest that it's MOST men who do these bad things. Now even just taking a woolfwhistle- how many cars with men in them drive past you without noise and how many woolfwhistle etc 🤔

I saw that too and it was horrific, and definitely needs bringing to light.
I just hope people don’t use it as “look, it happens just as much to men”
I can’t stand people who bring up “but women do bad things too” the percentages are tiny. Men don’t live in fear of women.

I've seen that documentary, and it was heartbreaking. No abuse is ok.

Men don’t live in fear of women.

And this is the point I've been trying to make to @Anchorage56

Nobody is denying that women can murder, abuse and generally behave terribly but it shouldn't be used to minimise the societal issue of toxic masculinity and violence against women and girls.

The reason the female crime docs stand out (other than the fact there are far less) is because people are amazed/horrified that women can do these things. Because of course its normally men. Like the baby killers like Lucy Letby and Beverly Allit. People cant believe it. Nobody for one minute thinks that women kill as much as men.

I do know there are plenty of decent men, including my DH and 2 BILs and a few male friends who I’ve known for many years. However, the difficulty we have is that we can’t know who is genuinely a good person and who is putting on an act.

My DM is a very bright woman, but she thought my F was a decent man. The reality was that he was sexually abusing my DSis and me. It came as a massive shock to her when we told her about it around 10 years ago.

I discovered that the husbands of a few friends weren’t the decent men I thought they were.