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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to leave our dream house because of neighbours tv on party wall

269 replies

sapphicy · 16/03/2025 00:41

Bit of a rant. We’ve issues with our neighbours - semi detached house, we’ve been here 5 years and started off well (Christmas cards etc) but then a year or so ago they put a tv on the shared wall (right below where our headboard is) and refused to move it when we explained we can hear it over our own tv and we can’t sleep when its on as we can hear every single word reverberating in the wall. We’ve tried talking to them several times and also written a letter asking them to move this tv off the wall, their answer is always no.

Long story short we’ve resorted to playing white noise full blast through the smart speaker every night, right against the wall behind our bed, as it’s the only way we can sleep over their tv. They’re retired and seem to be night owls, so the tv noise continues to 1-2am even on weeknights. I have to get up at 6.30 for work and I was so tired for a while it was making me ill.

Their tv is annoying during the evenings too as we have to turn our tv up ridiculously loud to not be able to also hear theirs, and if we have guests over people will comment about how loud their tv is, it’s not nice trying to have a nice chilled dinner and all we can hear is them watching the news.

DP lost her temper one night and banged on their door until they opened - they basically told her to pee off and that we were not going to tell them where they put their tv or what they do in their own home. It’s like they think we’re a pair of hysterical women exaggerating about how loud it is on our side.

Theyve now also had their bathroom ripped out and the old suite and all the bags of rubble have been in their front garden for about a month, it’s a real eyesore.

I am at my wits end. I knocked on the door last week after another neighbour messaged me moaning about the dumped bathroom, and they were clearly at home and ignoring me.

This house was a dream come true for us and we’ve spent our savings making it nice, and we’ve now been reduced to relying on the bloody Alexa in order to be able to sleep. Luckily DD room is on the other side of the house but if we were to have another baby they’d also have a room on the party wall and would be kept awake by the noise.

I am reluctant to go to the council as we’d then have to declare the problems if we decide to sell the house.

Would add that we haven’t done anything to wind them up - we go to bed early and don’t party! The worst we’ve ever had was a few drunk guests vaping in the garden on a Saturday night, and DD crying all night was over long before they put the tv on the wall.

AIBU to want to cut our losses and move into something detached, even if we make a loss? DP wants to stand our ground, but they own their house so unless they sell, this is probably just going to continue forever.

Any other ideas? :(

OP posts:
Bellyblueboy · 16/03/2025 08:10

Or … have you tried soundproofing the wall? While it will be expensive it would be cheaper than the cost of a move?

CavaInTheSun · 16/03/2025 08:10

Could you offer to soundproof both sides of the wall? I know you shouldn't have to but it would be cheaper than moving..

As others have said I am shocked when my dad comes to stay and how loud the tv is / how loud he is in general.

PTSDBarbiegirl · 16/03/2025 08:11

Try soundproofing first. Maybe give up 10cm of wall if you can and get a panel built across the wall, fill it with soundproofing or make it solid boards, don’t know the correct description. Then put something in front of it. Can you relocate your bed and put built in wardrobes on that wall?

Kaybee50 · 16/03/2025 08:15

Can you do some recordings of how loud their TV is in your bedroom and then approach them with this evidence? If they are in their 70s they may have no idea of how loud their TV is and might assume you are making a fuss over nothing. Talk to them about how it’s impacting your lives and ask them what they are going to do about it. Tell them you will have to escalate things further if they take no action.
p.s don’t get involved with the bathroom mess in their front garden. That’s a separate issue.

DireStraights · 16/03/2025 08:21

before you move you could try soundproofing. It sounds like it will be expensive but it’s not. You can by panels on Amazon then staple plasterboard over the top. Get it skimmed and painted. You loose a tiny bit of floor lace 10cm plus. But they are quite good and for the sake of a few hundred quid it’s so much less than moving ..

Horsesandyoga · 16/03/2025 08:26

Did you ever ask them if the baby kept them awake? This sounds a bit like revenge, regardless of how different the noise cause is.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 16/03/2025 08:31

try the sound proofing and then just move. It’s not your dream house if it’s making you miserable.

Blinky21 · 16/03/2025 08:32

Threaten your neighbours that you are going to make an official complaint and if they don't move their tv then go to the council. Depending on your council, the first thing they will probably do is send a letter which may be enough. Don't let declaring it put you off. If you can say it is resolved by the time you move, people won't care. Based on experience, I wouldn't waste money on sound proofing unless you are going to do it properly, which might mean adding in a cavity

BringMeTea · 16/03/2025 08:38

Honestly, I would move. Then do whatever I could to buy detached. The stress of this is really awful you have my full sympathy. A LOT of people are horrible selfish twats sadly. 💐

Eldermilleniallyogii · 16/03/2025 08:39

That's annoying OP

If they have the tv fixed to the wall they probably think it's a hassle to remove and I can see both sides as I'd hate to be in your position but then they're also right that they can put their tv where they like

Mynewnameis · 16/03/2025 08:41

Our house is like this.
Luckily the current neighbours are quiet.

I'd try soundproofing before moving if it's your dream home.

TotallyForgettableForNow · 16/03/2025 08:42

They just sound like they are getting on a bit and can't really hear as well as they used to.
My 57 year old husband has work related hearing loss and would sit with the TV booming if I wasn't around to notice.
They probably think you are being completely unreasonable because they can hardly hear it, to them you are just the nagging neighbours.
I definitely don't think they are doing it to be malicious, it drives me absolutely insane when my husband has the TV on too loud so if they are living with it at such an unreasonable volume it probably isn't on purpose or they would turn it down.
I think you should put the sound proofing in, definitely cheaper than moving and also mitigates against any neighbour noise in the future.
I would also keep an eye out for any adult children that may visit. Perhaps they could show their parents the number at which the volume is considered socially acceptable and put the subtitles on for them.

Isometimeswonder · 16/03/2025 08:44

FancyNewt · 16/03/2025 01:53

Can you move your bed ?

That's what I was thinking.
Even move rooms. If you love the house.

WeaselsRising · 16/03/2025 08:48

Soundproofing won't work if you have shared joists or a shared flue. Having been in your situation your 2 options are (A) start keeping a diary of the times this is happening and go to the council. They can measure the sound and confiscate equipment if it is too loud, or (B) cut your losses and move.

HoldingThePoisonDown · 16/03/2025 08:49

BarneyRonson · 16/03/2025 01:05

I just did a search and apparently soundproofing works. If you soundproof and put a bookcase in front of the wall you probably will be fine.

This didn’t work in our case. We spent £££’s on removing plaster, getting thick soundproofing boards on the shared wall then replastering. As they were semis they shared joists and the sound just travelled through the joists. It was hell.

You have my sympathy op, we were in the exact same situation and it made me seriously ill.

We moved to a wreck of a detached house, all we could afford. I would rather live in a silent wreck than share a wall with neighbours ever again.

sapphicy · 16/03/2025 08:50

FancyNewt · 16/03/2025 01:53

Can you move your bed ?

Unfortunately no as we have a fitted wardrobe on the other side of the room!

OP posts:
PeppyTealDuck · 16/03/2025 08:52

Get the wall soundproofed. A lot less hassle and expense.

Sulu17 · 16/03/2025 08:53

I had extremely noisy vile neighbours and paid a lot of money for soundproofing that hardly took the edge off the noise. Put your house up for sale, sorry.

sapphicy · 16/03/2025 08:56

Horsesandyoga · 16/03/2025 08:26

Did you ever ask them if the baby kept them awake? This sounds a bit like revenge, regardless of how different the noise cause is.

I didn’t ask but did wonder. I think the timing is off as DD is almost 4, and the tv only started about a year ago

OP posts:
CheesePlantBoxes · 16/03/2025 08:59

If you can't soundproof, I'd be escalating. 630am, start some loud-but-not-actionable noise that will wake them up like hoovering.

7am, LOUD annoying toddler music directly against their wall every morning without fail to make sure it annoys them. Make sure you're downstairs so you aren't bothered by it. Or better yet, have a dance party in your room with the kids.

Host a few parties. Have the kids friends back after school and let them run around. Chases up the stairs. Wait until they complain and offer a resigned statement about how you did worry it might be a bot loud but given that they didnt seem to care to find a solution to the tv noise, what do they want you to do about your noise?

TourangaLeila · 16/03/2025 09:00

I, would be "accidentally" drilling through the wall into the TV. But I'm unhinged like that.

sapphicy · 16/03/2025 09:01

BeTwinklyKhakiPanda · 16/03/2025 06:14

Had this problem many years ago. Got up at 6am. Turned a couple of bass speakers to the wall, put a anxious cd on repeat, took the budgie and went out for the morning.

Only had to do it twice

This is evil but I might give it a try, thanks. The Alexa is already in the right place for it and the bass is turned right up..

OP posts:
Roselilly36 · 16/03/2025 09:02

Try the soundproofing option first, if that doesn’t help, move. You will never regret living in a detached home, best thing ever.

HomeBodyClub · 16/03/2025 09:03

Soundproof and offer to take their rubbish to the tip

sapphicy · 16/03/2025 09:04

HoppingPavlova · 16/03/2025 08:07

Sorry, and showing my ignorance with party walls here, but how do they differ from regular internal walls?

Our (huge) tv in living room is wall mounted on an internal wall. Our bed is on the other side of the wall. If the tv is up loud volume I can hear a very low dull muffled sound in bed. If on average volume I can’t hear anything. So wondering how a party wall is different to this?

I might be totally wrong but from what I’ve read about this it amplifies sound as there’s a cavity between the two walls and probably also shared joists which carry the sound, whereas on an internal wall there isn’t as much for it to reverberate off of

OP posts:
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