To want to leave our dream house because of neighbours tv on party wall

[sapphicy]

Bit of a rant. We’ve issues with our neighbours - semi detached house, we’ve been here 5 years and started off well (Christmas cards etc) but then a year or so ago they put a tv on the shared wall (right below where our headboard is) and refused to move it when we explained we can hear it over our own tv and we can’t sleep when its on as we can hear every single word reverberating in the wall. We’ve tried talking to them several times and also written a letter asking them to move this tv off the wall, their answer is always no.

Long story short we’ve resorted to playing white noise full blast through the smart speaker every night, right against the wall behind our bed, as it’s the only way we can sleep over their tv. They’re retired and seem to be night owls, so the tv noise continues to 1-2am even on weeknights. I have to get up at 6.30 for work and I was so tired for a while it was making me ill.

Their tv is annoying during the evenings too as we have to turn our tv up ridiculously loud to not be able to also hear theirs, and if we have guests over people will comment about how loud their tv is, it’s not nice trying to have a nice chilled dinner and all we can hear is them watching the news.

DP lost her temper one night and banged on their door until they opened - they basically told her to pee off and that we were not going to tell them where they put their tv or what they do in their own home. It’s like they think we’re a pair of hysterical women exaggerating about how loud it is on our side.

Theyve now also had their bathroom ripped out and the old suite and all the bags of rubble have been in their front garden for about a month, it’s a real eyesore.

I am at my wits end. I knocked on the door last week after another neighbour messaged me moaning about the dumped bathroom, and they were clearly at home and ignoring me.

This house was a dream come true for us and we’ve spent our savings making it nice, and we’ve now been reduced to relying on the bloody Alexa in order to be able to sleep. Luckily DD room is on the other side of the house but if we were to have another baby they’d also have a room on the party wall and would be kept awake by the noise.

I am reluctant to go to the council as we’d then have to declare the problems if we decide to sell the house.

Would add that we haven’t done anything to wind them up - we go to bed early and don’t party! The worst we’ve ever had was a few drunk guests vaping in the garden on a Saturday night, and DD crying all night was over long before they put the tv on the wall.

AIBU to want to cut our losses and move into something detached, even if we make a loss? DP wants to stand our ground, but they own their house so unless they sell, this is probably just going to continue forever.

Any other ideas? :(

We have a similar issue with our neighbours who moved in nearly 4 years ago. They put up a massive tv on the chimney breast on the shared wall and we can hear everything they watch to the point we can mute the same programme and hear it through the wall. We spoke to one of them and since then whenever his gf goes away he has his mates round and plays opera at 1am. Does diy at 10.30pm and is just a complete a hole. She's just as bad slamming doors and cupboards late at night. They let the dog bark for hours in the middle of the night.

Never crossed my mind tbh! We got on well with them when we first moved in so I assume they are cool with it

So the issue is the TV being on the party wall, nothing to do with age

Ah, but remember people are just living their lives...been through a recent dispute and I was advised that just because it's not a reasonable time of day for you, doesn't mean it isn't for another resident. We all lead different lives apparently.

So those of us who are suffering have to shut up about it. Or move.

Looking at layout of the property really is the only solution to give immediate relief.

Did you get mediation services involved? If so, what did they say?

Local authority unlikely to be of any help.

A few PP have suggested that you do not involve your council as

It only needs to be disclosed as a neighbour dispute if you have taken some sort of formal action

That’s wrong.

If you have a dispute then you need to declare it, even if you have not taken any formal action.

However without anything recorded it is difficult for the unfortunate buyer of your property to succeed in any subsequent legal claim against you for misrepresentation.

Of course, I’d expect you would want to be honest and declare it !

But if not, bear in mind that any competent surveyor would be able to spot if the wall had been soundproofed at which point you are likely to be asked why.

Are you for real? The issue may well be on the party wall, but the people who are watching the TV on the party wall are elderly - in their 70s I think the OP said. It could be that their hearing is not too good..

The local authorities have Noise Abatement Officers who are trained in just this type of situation. The OP can call on them. They will visit the elderly couple and help them if they have a hearing problem to access hearing aids.

It is spiteful to take revenge on the elderly because they have a problem with the TV. There is no need. There are people who can deal with it without taking measures into your own hands.

Local authorities have a noise abatement department who will visit and see what the problem is.

It is documented that many people lose hearing ability as they age, and there are welfare workers in the Noise Abatement Department who are trained to deal with elderly people who have their TV or radio turned up too high. Not so long ago there was a programme on TV and an elderly man who did not realise he was deaf was helped to have hearing tests and given a hearing aid and the neighbours were no longer disturbed.

The Duty of Care Act 2017 was designed for problems like that, and the local authorities and social workers do have a duty to help the elderly and disabled.

If you take matters into you own hands and try to aggravate the situation, it is the complainant who can be prosecuted, for unkind abuse of the elderly.

The fact that Parliament has to pass Laws to protect the elderly from being punished because of a physical disability is an indictment of the people who don't think of others.

And if posters on here have a problem with that, too bad.

What's wrong with putting the TV on an outside wall?, or the bed on an outside wall to avoid the noise?

But what do you do when you have tried negotiating and they just aren't interested? Of course it will cause conflict! Not all neighbours think they're needing to change.

Sometimes you can't put stuff where you want - see OPs original post.

Thing is, the TV is on the party wall. Since people rarely put beds in the middle of rooms, that would probably imply their headboard is as far away from the TV as possible on the opposite wall, facing towards the TV on the party wall.

This means that the volume has to be turned up loud because of the distance as well as maybe their hearing.

The simple and low cost solution is to run the TV via speakers next to their headboard which would also be far away from the party wall. That way they can keep the tv where it is, have the speakers running quieter because they are close to them, and limit the sound transmission through the wall.

The fact that they won't make this accomodation tells you everything you need to know about them.

Unfortunately it's true. Council remediation service is pretty useless as they cannot do anything to help. Just recently been through this.

If its within thr property the noise, they won't help.

My mum and step dad have just had to move because of the noise from a neighbour playing music. The council tried to help but did not or could not resolve the issue. Police were involved and tried their best to help. Letters were sent and they were talked to but ultimately nothing changed so they chose to move to save their sanity. They were always either having to put up with the noise or were waiting for the noise to inevitably start. Its not a nice way to live.

I was referring to the OP's bed. In the original post she says:

" right against the wall behind our bed,"

So why don't they move their bed? All those excuses about them not being able to move the bed just means that she is ''sticking to her guns and the neighbour has to move''.

From the last sentence in your post you either know the OP personally or you have made a judgement that she is right and that her neighbour is wrong, and the neighbour should do all they can, to make the OP happy, Why?

What right has anyone to demand anything of someone else? Since the thread started, the OP has had time to go to the council noise abatement office and ask for advice.

If the Noise Abatement Officer goes to the properties and sees a solution, that officer will talk to both parties and help them come to a conclusion which satisfies them all. If the answer is to take the TV off the wall, or run speakers to their living room or bed or wherever, then the officer will do the suggesting, not the OP shouting and raving about taking revenge.

If the OP hasn't done that, then I have no sympathy for their cause at all. Most situations are six of one and half a dozen of the other, but when someone like the OP resorts to the tactics she has described and plans even worse on the advice she is getting on here, then something other than the TV is at the bottom of it.

If you put up with it for several consecutive days it will make you mentally unwell. What do you expect OP to do??

I had three days of my NDN talking excessively loudly through the party wall and they didn't give a shit. At times most people need to sleep to get up to work and for caring responsibilities. These people turn night into day. Feckless.

The council noise resolution team did nothing to help. Clash of lifestyles, it's called. "You're up early, they're up late". No one is in the wrong. Hilarious. So that's why people like OP and myself are delirious with sleep deprivation.

Try getting professional sound insulation. Cheaper than moving

Sorry If someone has already suggested this.
You can get things called isolating brackets, about £10 for a pack. If they could be persuaded to take down their tv have these used then remount it - the vibrations from the tv, which are most likely what is causing the noise transmission rather than the speakers - should stop, or at least be massively reduced.
Its a lot cheaper than ,moving house but does involve their consent.

You can also get directional speakers and of course tv brackets with damping built in.

There are plenty of ‘young’ 70 year old nowadays and some are just as capable as causing a bit of mischief as the next person. Not every 70 year old has a hearing impairment but for those that do, there’s hearing aids and subtitles. Oh but wait I guess they’re elderly so they must be blind as well as deaf!

I wouldn’t give a monkeys how old they are. If they were hell bent on driving me out of a home I loved, they would get double the dose of their own medicine. I would play my own television and radios on full volume whilst I went out for the day. If nothing else, it would test how ‘bad’ their hearing is.

This is utter nonsense.

@ llizzie · 17/03/2025 22:53

What is with the sanctimonious post? I’m not sure many folk give a monkeys about what you say either.

For the record, no-one knows long anyone has got to live on this planet - regardless of age. And who are you to say: “That elderly couple must be scared out of their wits as to what you might do next.”

No “must” about it! It’s the older couple who are in the wrong here. Worth remembering that not all older people are meek, fearful and frail.

You obviously cannot see both sides of a problem.

I suppose you hung the flags out when pensioners lost their winter fuel payment.

What the OP has done, and what she and other posters have put on here is elder abuse and against the law.

Perhaps you should look up the UK laws on discrimination.

Having said that, it really doesn't matter what age the couple are, it is very wrong and cruel to exact revenge on your neighbour when there are more lawful ways of addressing the problem.

It is a pity that governments have to pass antidiscrimination laws. There is more to it that racial, gender, disabled, discrimination.

What I said amounted to not taking the law into your own hands when there is a problem with neighbours, and am quite frankly horrified at the attitude towards elderly people by younger women on here, who will one day be old themselves.