To want to leave our dream house because of neighbours tv on party wall

[sapphicy]

Bit of a rant. We’ve issues with our neighbours - semi detached house, we’ve been here 5 years and started off well (Christmas cards etc) but then a year or so ago they put a tv on the shared wall (right below where our headboard is) and refused to move it when we explained we can hear it over our own tv and we can’t sleep when its on as we can hear every single word reverberating in the wall. We’ve tried talking to them several times and also written a letter asking them to move this tv off the wall, their answer is always no.

Long story short we’ve resorted to playing white noise full blast through the smart speaker every night, right against the wall behind our bed, as it’s the only way we can sleep over their tv. They’re retired and seem to be night owls, so the tv noise continues to 1-2am even on weeknights. I have to get up at 6.30 for work and I was so tired for a while it was making me ill.

Their tv is annoying during the evenings too as we have to turn our tv up ridiculously loud to not be able to also hear theirs, and if we have guests over people will comment about how loud their tv is, it’s not nice trying to have a nice chilled dinner and all we can hear is them watching the news.

DP lost her temper one night and banged on their door until they opened - they basically told her to pee off and that we were not going to tell them where they put their tv or what they do in their own home. It’s like they think we’re a pair of hysterical women exaggerating about how loud it is on our side.

Theyve now also had their bathroom ripped out and the old suite and all the bags of rubble have been in their front garden for about a month, it’s a real eyesore.

I am at my wits end. I knocked on the door last week after another neighbour messaged me moaning about the dumped bathroom, and they were clearly at home and ignoring me.

This house was a dream come true for us and we’ve spent our savings making it nice, and we’ve now been reduced to relying on the bloody Alexa in order to be able to sleep. Luckily DD room is on the other side of the house but if we were to have another baby they’d also have a room on the party wall and would be kept awake by the noise.

I am reluctant to go to the council as we’d then have to declare the problems if we decide to sell the house.

Would add that we haven’t done anything to wind them up - we go to bed early and don’t party! The worst we’ve ever had was a few drunk guests vaping in the garden on a Saturday night, and DD crying all night was over long before they put the tv on the wall.

AIBU to want to cut our losses and move into something detached, even if we make a loss? DP wants to stand our ground, but they own their house so unless they sell, this is probably just going to continue forever.

Any other ideas? :(

I would move to a detached. I also would not complain about the rubble whilst I was sorting out the bigger issue of sounds - pick your battles.

It is not your dream house Anymore and that’s fine.

They also sound like total selfish dicks.

I would love to put up a For Sale sign up and have a really tough looking family walk around the outside of the house as though they were planning to buy it. It would scare the life out of them.

I would love to put up a For Sale sign up and have a really tough looking family walk around the outside of the house as though they were planning to buy it. It would scare the life out of them.

Ugh this is my worst nightmare. Your neighbors are dickheads.

I'd move. But, I'd also really struggle with selling to someone else who then is lumbered with the same problem. I'd still do it though. Life is too short.

If they're in their 70s and probably hard of hearing, that's going to be a losing battle! I have problems with hearing, sometimes worse than others but the kids used to say - are your ears bad Mum? Cos the tele is blaring! Oops.
Luckily it's in my living room backing on to the kitchen.

Could you move your bed temporarily whilst you get some sound proofing sorted?

I was a bit late to the party with moving bed comment!

Move it in to theirs, tell em we hear everything anyway, may as well join you. Cosy isn't it? Turn TV up.

I’m no cure why you’re taking g on other neighbours issues about the rubble. The neighbour messaged you moaning, should’ve gone directly to them. Why did you take it on?

The TV, yes try soundproofing.

Surely you'd have just asked them to turn it down. Rather the remove it with the costs/hassle associated with hanging it in the first place so you may have got their backs up.

Deffo report it to the council if your planning on staying though

oak Soundproofing panels

I would get really heavily into drum and bass, at 9am- every day for a week. I would go out whilst it was on and return at 12, so I could sit and enjoy it again for half hour before turning it off.

….but then I am quite petty 😂

Can’t you soundproof the wall?? You would have to cover it on your side, and depending on what type of wall it is, If it’s cavity, you could possibly fill it aswell to help reduce noise. If I was you, I would get some quotes from soundproofing experts and get that done. If that isn’t sufficient I’d move.
best of luck x

Some of these suggestions in indulging in petty wars are so OTT. Have you tried to invite them over to hear how it sounds from your side? Trying to reason with people should be the first step.

And using another neighbour's complaint (to you, why?!) as an excuse to go charging over about a messy garden makes you sound really difficult tbh. Pick your battles

This!

If you dont want to invite them in, then you could record and go round to show them. You've said theyre retired so maybe hard of hearing and so dont realise just how loud it actually is.

If theyre still unreasonable after this, then I think soundproofing is worth a try before moving.

Get the wall soundproofed from your side. They put in soundproofing then a new fake wall essentially. It would fix the problem straight up and be a lot cheaper than moving.

Uber driver?

I would try to move tbh.they sound selfish. I have subtitles on ,although detached, DH dislikes loud volume. They could go on for years. 8

Had this problem many years ago. Got up at 6am. Turned a couple of bass speakers to the wall, put a anxious cd on repeat, took the budgie and went out for the morning.

Only had to do it twice

It is not OTT.

Fighting fire with fire is sometimes the only thing that works.

You must become the nightmare. It's not about petty and, if you are a nice neighbour at heart, it's not easy because it goes against everything you believe in. It's actually quite the self torture and you have to be determined. No wimping out or it won't work.

The only thing some people respond to is a taste of their own medicine.

I've had to do it. I outblasted my neighbours when we lived in a block of flats. I blasted them so loud I had to wear ear defenders to be able to tolerate it. They'd start. I'd let it go for a bit. Then I'd shove the stereo speakers up the wall and blast them with some truly horrible music for five minutes. I'd count it down to zero and switch mine off. Give them chance to see sense. Nope? Back on, volume up. Off. Not had enough yet. Back on, full volume. They'd give up. The other neighbours never said a thing apart from one who said thanks in the lift a few times. I didn't want to do it but they were tormenting the whole block pretty much 24 hours a day with their shitty drum'n'bass, rave tracks and Engelbert Humperdink type stuff (not kidding, weird mix of tastes).

You have to keep your lights off and watch out for approaching witnesses or coppers. Then deny it.

Cheaper than moving.

These days, if there's going to be fear involved, it's not going to be mine. Never again.

You're never going to be friends with these people because they already feel entitled to tell you to piss off so give it them back.

It doesn't feel nice but neither does being disrespected and driven mad with noise while you're trying to sleep.

Or you could put your telly up the wall and play some really loud vocal sex videos while you two go sleep in your child's room and shield her ears. When they complain, tell them you may as well have fun if they're going to keep you up at night.

In a similar situation a friend of family told his ndn that if they persisted he would let the house out to the worst people he could find and hoped they wouldn’t mind living next to young men taking drugs and partying all night.
They took note and became more obliging.

Two can play at that game. I would book air BNB for a week and set television and radios to come on at 2am and let them carry on playing. . I’d put my devices on a timer to come on when they go to bed. I would go out for the day and leave a device on at top volume. Nothing worse than shitty inconsiderate neighbours. If they are going to force you out then at least give them a dose of their own medicine,

This must be incredibly stressful. It sounds like the noise is affecting that whole side of your house, not just your bedroom, is that right? You mention also hearing it in the evenings in your living room presumably? And guests hearing it in whichever room you entertain?

A lot of PP suggesting soundproofing, but it’s impossible to say whether that would work in your scenario. I live in a flat and have only one shared bedroom wall with my neighbour. When I moved in, I could hear my neighbours’ every bedroom activity from chatting to TV to every slap of flesh during sex. It was horrendous.

I did a lot of research on soundproofing and hired a very reputable company to install something called Soundboard 4 on that bedroom wall. Cost was £2000 and that’s a smallish wall and this was 6 years ago.

The company warned me from the outset that it is incredibly difficult to soundproof in any kind of attached property because “sound is like water, and it will always find its way through the tiniest space.” They said the only way to guarantee no neighbour noise is to live in a detached house! They said that the most effective solution would be to build a false frame and pack it with sound insulation material, so as to create a physical separation between the 2 rooms, but that would have been double the cost and I would have lost several inches off my room, which is already small.

I was so excited on the day they installed the Soundboard, but then was distraught when I went to bed that night and could still hear everything. It had maybe muffled the noise by 10/20% at most. But it was a total waste of money.

When I contacted the soundproofing company, they said the only option was to start again and go for the false frame method, but I just couldn’t afford to throw good money after bad.

So my point is that you would need to soundproof every room on that side of the house, which will be very expensive, and there is no guarantee it will work because there will still be gaps where sound can leak through. If you can afford to go for the false frame type of soundproofing, that should give better results but you will be reducing the size of each room slightly.

I think a mix of trying to get thru to your NDN and petty behaviours is defo in order. Keep all ur stuff on during the day when it’s peaceful and quiet for them until they are ‘ready’ to negotiate. Then agree times that they can have their telly on. If not tell them u will rent the place out as an HMO.

Acoustic sound panel to cover the whole wall that side. You can order to size at builders merchant and put it up yourself.
They are brilliant and you can paint them. You won't know it's there.

They should have put one their side tbh. But didn't know about them, didn't think about it and don't care.

The problem with their tv is it will have speakers to the rear directed to the wall. We had a similar issue in our house when we replaced a tv - although it didn't affect any neighbours.

You could ask them if they would try using a soundbar or other speakers to see if that reduces the sound coming through the wall to you.

If you bought it for them and helped set it up, if necessary, it would be a lot cheaper than moving from your home.