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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to leave our dream house because of neighbours tv on party wall

269 replies

sapphicy · 16/03/2025 00:41

Bit of a rant. We’ve issues with our neighbours - semi detached house, we’ve been here 5 years and started off well (Christmas cards etc) but then a year or so ago they put a tv on the shared wall (right below where our headboard is) and refused to move it when we explained we can hear it over our own tv and we can’t sleep when its on as we can hear every single word reverberating in the wall. We’ve tried talking to them several times and also written a letter asking them to move this tv off the wall, their answer is always no.

Long story short we’ve resorted to playing white noise full blast through the smart speaker every night, right against the wall behind our bed, as it’s the only way we can sleep over their tv. They’re retired and seem to be night owls, so the tv noise continues to 1-2am even on weeknights. I have to get up at 6.30 for work and I was so tired for a while it was making me ill.

Their tv is annoying during the evenings too as we have to turn our tv up ridiculously loud to not be able to also hear theirs, and if we have guests over people will comment about how loud their tv is, it’s not nice trying to have a nice chilled dinner and all we can hear is them watching the news.

DP lost her temper one night and banged on their door until they opened - they basically told her to pee off and that we were not going to tell them where they put their tv or what they do in their own home. It’s like they think we’re a pair of hysterical women exaggerating about how loud it is on our side.

Theyve now also had their bathroom ripped out and the old suite and all the bags of rubble have been in their front garden for about a month, it’s a real eyesore.

I am at my wits end. I knocked on the door last week after another neighbour messaged me moaning about the dumped bathroom, and they were clearly at home and ignoring me.

This house was a dream come true for us and we’ve spent our savings making it nice, and we’ve now been reduced to relying on the bloody Alexa in order to be able to sleep. Luckily DD room is on the other side of the house but if we were to have another baby they’d also have a room on the party wall and would be kept awake by the noise.

I am reluctant to go to the council as we’d then have to declare the problems if we decide to sell the house.

Would add that we haven’t done anything to wind them up - we go to bed early and don’t party! The worst we’ve ever had was a few drunk guests vaping in the garden on a Saturday night, and DD crying all night was over long before they put the tv on the wall.

AIBU to want to cut our losses and move into something detached, even if we make a loss? DP wants to stand our ground, but they own their house so unless they sell, this is probably just going to continue forever.

Any other ideas? :(

OP posts:
FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 16/03/2025 00:46

Whatever you do, don't go down any official channels because then you have to legally declare it if you want to sell.

Personally, this situation would make me want to move. But it depends whether you would be able to find another house you like and whether you'd lose money on your current house.

Your neighbours could continue like this for years to come.

You could consider soundproofing that wall. I'm not an expert in how that would work though.

EggFriedRiceAndChips · 16/03/2025 00:48

They sound really mean and selfish. I wouldn’t cope with this at all. Is it worth once more trying to appeal to their better nature (assuming they have one), being really nice about it. After that I think moving is the only option. So sad though. What selfish people

Poppyseeds79 · 16/03/2025 00:51

Are they quite old? I keep telling my DM she needs to turn her TV down as it must be loud next door 😬 She's old, her hearing is going, plus she's awake at daft hours now.

BarneyRonson · 16/03/2025 00:52

Gosh, I’m so sorry this has happened to you. What awful neighbours. I’d investigate soundproofing, and if that doesn’t work, move house. How horrid of them. People can be so disappointing.

cryinglaughing · 16/03/2025 00:53

Move.
We moved after our neighbour died and a different family moved in.
They used to go out in the middle of the night, every night, slamming the front door as they went. That used to wake me with a jolt and I struggled to go back to sleep.
The final straw was when they would sit in the car, lights and engine on, having a conversation via their Bluetooth very loudly.
Loved the house, don't miss it or the bloody neighbours one bit.

sapphicy · 16/03/2025 00:55

Poppyseeds79 · 16/03/2025 00:51

Are they quite old? I keep telling my DM she needs to turn her TV down as it must be loud next door 😬 She's old, her hearing is going, plus she's awake at daft hours now.

They’re probably in their 70s yeah, I honestly think it’s the new tv and it being on the wall that’s the issue though - we never heard much until they put it on the party wall!

OP posts:
Itisbetter · 16/03/2025 01:03

Just soundproof the wall

BarneyRonson · 16/03/2025 01:05

I just did a search and apparently soundproofing works. If you soundproof and put a bookcase in front of the wall you probably will be fine.

Poppyseeds79 · 16/03/2025 01:07

Soundproofing on your side... And possibly broach the subject of paying for a panel to be put behind their TV? You shouldn't have to but it's a resort that'd still be cheaper than moving.

Chocoholicnightmare · 16/03/2025 01:11

You can get really good sound proofing- might be a bit thick but it would do the trick. It's basically a false wall on your side. I would try that before doing anything drastic like moving. Good luck x

OrangeLamp · 16/03/2025 01:12

Try a sound machine (I use easysleep) rather than Alexa to create masking noise. I find this works much better than Alexa. I also opt for brown noise.

Assuming you do not live in a period building with a fireplace on the shared wall then you could also try putting up acoustic plasterboard to soundproof the wall.

And as a penultimate resort, go to the council. Unless you are planning to lie on the property forms you will still have to declare the problem with the neighbours so you have nothing to loose

LauderSyme · 16/03/2025 01:12

What a shame for you. It must be horrid having to live like that. I know a couple who literally reconfigured the entire layout of their home to mitigate the problem of their elderly neighbour's disturbingly loud TV. Sometimes drastic action is the only way to go.

Ballgames · 16/03/2025 01:15

Soundproofing sounds like a good idea.

JeanGenieJean · 16/03/2025 01:16

Our neighbours (not attached to us) have this problem as their attached neighbours have their tv loud. They had their house renovated and soundproofing put in on the party wall but they say it's made little difference.
They put up with it because it's not all the time and their neighbours are very nice and will turn it down if asked.

Devianinc · 16/03/2025 01:45

sapphicy · 16/03/2025 00:41

Bit of a rant. We’ve issues with our neighbours - semi detached house, we’ve been here 5 years and started off well (Christmas cards etc) but then a year or so ago they put a tv on the shared wall (right below where our headboard is) and refused to move it when we explained we can hear it over our own tv and we can’t sleep when its on as we can hear every single word reverberating in the wall. We’ve tried talking to them several times and also written a letter asking them to move this tv off the wall, their answer is always no.

Long story short we’ve resorted to playing white noise full blast through the smart speaker every night, right against the wall behind our bed, as it’s the only way we can sleep over their tv. They’re retired and seem to be night owls, so the tv noise continues to 1-2am even on weeknights. I have to get up at 6.30 for work and I was so tired for a while it was making me ill.

Their tv is annoying during the evenings too as we have to turn our tv up ridiculously loud to not be able to also hear theirs, and if we have guests over people will comment about how loud their tv is, it’s not nice trying to have a nice chilled dinner and all we can hear is them watching the news.

DP lost her temper one night and banged on their door until they opened - they basically told her to pee off and that we were not going to tell them where they put their tv or what they do in their own home. It’s like they think we’re a pair of hysterical women exaggerating about how loud it is on our side.

Theyve now also had their bathroom ripped out and the old suite and all the bags of rubble have been in their front garden for about a month, it’s a real eyesore.

I am at my wits end. I knocked on the door last week after another neighbour messaged me moaning about the dumped bathroom, and they were clearly at home and ignoring me.

This house was a dream come true for us and we’ve spent our savings making it nice, and we’ve now been reduced to relying on the bloody Alexa in order to be able to sleep. Luckily DD room is on the other side of the house but if we were to have another baby they’d also have a room on the party wall and would be kept awake by the noise.

I am reluctant to go to the council as we’d then have to declare the problems if we decide to sell the house.

Would add that we haven’t done anything to wind them up - we go to bed early and don’t party! The worst we’ve ever had was a few drunk guests vaping in the garden on a Saturday night, and DD crying all night was over long before they put the tv on the wall.

AIBU to want to cut our losses and move into something detached, even if we make a loss? DP wants to stand our ground, but they own their house so unless they sell, this is probably just going to continue forever.

Any other ideas? :(

Put yours on the opposite wall and out blast them. I’m sure they’ll stop if you treat them the same way.

Devianinc · 16/03/2025 01:48

Devianinc · 16/03/2025 01:45

Put yours on the opposite wall and out blast them. I’m sure they’ll stop if you treat them the same way.

And leave it on all night, sleep somewhere else and come back in the morning. It might take a minute but it sounds worth it.what is wrong with people. I mean, people are getting meaner and meaner. What’s so hard about putting on headphones.

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 16/03/2025 01:50

There’s different types of soundproofing, it’s worth doing some research into this.

wombat1a · 16/03/2025 01:52

I'd start keeping a record of the volumes and times (perhaps get a dB meter) and then go to a local civil mediator. Then escalate to the council, this is your home and your health is being impacted by noisy neighbours, I think anyone can see mounting a TV on a party wall and having it loud after 10 pm is a nuisance.

FancyNewt · 16/03/2025 01:53

Can you move your bed ?

TequilaNights · 16/03/2025 02:01

Soundproof the wall with acoustic wall panels, a lot cheaper than selling and moving

Cakeandcheeseforever · 16/03/2025 02:10

The bathroom part outside might not be their fault. When I had mine done through Wickes their builders took ages picking it up and I couldn’t have moved it myself. But agree the tv is awful on their part and selfish.

Topsyturvy78 · 16/03/2025 02:10

If it was me I would put my TV on the wall as well. Then they will understand what the issue is. Call me petty I don't give a shit.

321user123 · 16/03/2025 02:33

Completely missing the point, what I would do to preserve my sanity in the interim is to insulate the party wall with a thin stud wall and insulation in between. A while back I watched a video of how to do it so that noise doesn’t travel through and the “trick” was to ensure the battens didn’t connect directly to wall but were broken apart with insulation. I think it was called a floating frame, but I might be making this up.

This above would make your room slightly smaller, but it might keep you sane in the interim or turn out to be a compromise.

Tbrh · 16/03/2025 02:41

Can you move your bedroom or move the bed so it isn't against the wall. I feel for you OP, being disturbed by noise in your own home is soul destroying

LBFseBrom · 16/03/2025 02:43

I don't think the rubble at the front of the house is a big deal, frankly. People do have that, and more, when they are doing work on their property. Some have skips outside for ages. It may be an eyesore but so what, it won't be there forever.

The TV on the adjoining wall however is a problem and I don't blame you one bit for being peeved about it, I would. I lived in a semi for a great many years, hardly ever heard anything from my adjoining neighbours and they were a lively family.

If your neighbours have the telly on in bed at night the least they can do is lower the volume considerably and use subtitles. That would be courteous. You could suggest that.

I don't think the council, presumably you mean Environmental Health, noise nuisance section, would be able to do anything. They'd have to come round when the noise was happening and measure it with a noise meter; if over so many decibels they'd ask your neighbours to turn it down. If after that it persisted they could issue a notice but all these things take a lot of time and aren't always effective anyway. The noise nuisances they usually deal with are loud parties/illegal clubs that you can hear all the way down the street and further.

I am sorry. There are ways of soundproofing walls, not expensive but effective. I know someone who is doing that at the moment.

Good luck.

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