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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to leave our dream house because of neighbours tv on party wall

269 replies

sapphicy · 16/03/2025 00:41

Bit of a rant. We’ve issues with our neighbours - semi detached house, we’ve been here 5 years and started off well (Christmas cards etc) but then a year or so ago they put a tv on the shared wall (right below where our headboard is) and refused to move it when we explained we can hear it over our own tv and we can’t sleep when its on as we can hear every single word reverberating in the wall. We’ve tried talking to them several times and also written a letter asking them to move this tv off the wall, their answer is always no.

Long story short we’ve resorted to playing white noise full blast through the smart speaker every night, right against the wall behind our bed, as it’s the only way we can sleep over their tv. They’re retired and seem to be night owls, so the tv noise continues to 1-2am even on weeknights. I have to get up at 6.30 for work and I was so tired for a while it was making me ill.

Their tv is annoying during the evenings too as we have to turn our tv up ridiculously loud to not be able to also hear theirs, and if we have guests over people will comment about how loud their tv is, it’s not nice trying to have a nice chilled dinner and all we can hear is them watching the news.

DP lost her temper one night and banged on their door until they opened - they basically told her to pee off and that we were not going to tell them where they put their tv or what they do in their own home. It’s like they think we’re a pair of hysterical women exaggerating about how loud it is on our side.

Theyve now also had their bathroom ripped out and the old suite and all the bags of rubble have been in their front garden for about a month, it’s a real eyesore.

I am at my wits end. I knocked on the door last week after another neighbour messaged me moaning about the dumped bathroom, and they were clearly at home and ignoring me.

This house was a dream come true for us and we’ve spent our savings making it nice, and we’ve now been reduced to relying on the bloody Alexa in order to be able to sleep. Luckily DD room is on the other side of the house but if we were to have another baby they’d also have a room on the party wall and would be kept awake by the noise.

I am reluctant to go to the council as we’d then have to declare the problems if we decide to sell the house.

Would add that we haven’t done anything to wind them up - we go to bed early and don’t party! The worst we’ve ever had was a few drunk guests vaping in the garden on a Saturday night, and DD crying all night was over long before they put the tv on the wall.

AIBU to want to cut our losses and move into something detached, even if we make a loss? DP wants to stand our ground, but they own their house so unless they sell, this is probably just going to continue forever.

Any other ideas? :(

OP posts:
Motherofdragons24 · 16/03/2025 06:47

I assume youve already moved your bed to the opposite wall so that the tv isn’t right by your head? Has that not helped at all? Could you move your bedroom to another room? Unfortunately I don’t think there’s much else you can do, as frustrating as it is for you, they are entitled to watch tv and love their live in their own home. Soundproofing as PP suggested is a good idea.

DaNightCreeper · 16/03/2025 06:58

sapphicy · 16/03/2025 00:55

They’re probably in their 70s yeah, I honestly think it’s the new tv and it being on the wall that’s the issue though - we never heard much until they put it on the party wall!

They might live another thirty years and that telly will get louder and louder as their hearing will deteriorate.

Sell. Complaining will fuck you up and will make bugger all difference.

Arrange viewings for when they are quiet, if they are quiet.

FYI soundproofing plasterboard is recognised in the trade as not actually working worth a damn compared to standard stuff. It would have to be on top of sound insulated framing and you would lose that amount of the size of the room.

winewolfhowls · 16/03/2025 07:02

Have they got relatives that visit to whom you could appeal?

Other than that I would be banging on the doors and windows early in the morning every single morning.

In this modern world with soundbar, subtitles and headphones, there is absolutely no excuse once they realise they are being a nuisance.

Hhoudini · 16/03/2025 07:12

Can you sound proof that wall? No you shouldn’t have to but sometimes needs must

Mirrorxxx · 16/03/2025 07:17

Move
we had to move after our neighbour refused to move their piano off the party wall. Everyone who came to visit our house commented on the level of noise and we couldn’t have guests for dinner. It’s just not worth the stress of staying.

maddening · 16/03/2025 07:20

I would try fire with fire - loud music via speaker facing the same wall.

CurbsideProphet · 16/03/2025 07:22

We put fitted wardrobes in against the shared wall in 2 of our bedrooms and have never heard our neighbours again upstairs.

The state of their front garden is a non issue and I wouldn't start an argument over that. The focus needs to be on a resolution to the noise from their TV. Some people are selfish/ set in their ways. Either you pay for a long term solution eg. soundproofing, or you try to sell and say nothing.

GladAquaBear · 16/03/2025 07:22

move we lived next door to students and through the years it got progressively worse we soundproofed could still hear them, it made my mental health terrible. we’ve been in a detached now for a year and it’s so peaceful i wish we’d got ourselves on the market sooner!

TheUsualChaos · 16/03/2025 07:23

The problem with inviting them round to hear the noise is that a) they will probably turn the sound down so you can hardly hear it and b) you'd have to do this really late at night when all is quiet or it won't demonstrate how bad it is.

I think you have just have to keep talking to them. Every single opportunity you get, tell them that it's disturbing you.

Agree with trying to discuss with one of their family members if you see them visit, usually they will be more reasonable.

WombatStewForTea · 16/03/2025 07:25

Itisbetter · 16/03/2025 01:03

Just soundproof the wall

I'd try this first. Cheaper than moving!
Do they have children who visit? If so are you able to chat to them. Invite them to come over and listen to how loud it is?

Easipeelerie · 16/03/2025 07:27

Having read every solution listed here, I’d move. The soundproofing isn’t guaranteed to work.
Before you go do a trip away and leave music on full blast from 2 am all night.

cantthinkofausername26 · 16/03/2025 07:30

I would lose my shit over this, what a pair of selfish arseholes. Before you decide to leave try some drastic measures. Leave your music on full blast and then go out? Out blast them with your own tv? Fight fire with fire!

Sometimeswinning · 16/03/2025 07:34

Just the very fact that you went round to complain on another neighbour’s behalf makes me think you are not the dream neighbour everyone wants to believe.

If my neighbour asked me to take down my tv in my room I’m trying to think where I would put it. It’s near a power supply, on a good strong wall and I’d also like it at a volume I could hear.

This is a problem for you to solve. Install sound proofing.

Rosiesposy · 16/03/2025 07:37

Report them to the council about the noise that’s impacting your sleep and health. If you move then you’re passing the issue to the next residents.

Decorhate · 16/03/2025 07:45

I live in an old semi and the party wall is only one brick thick. So we can hear neighbours just talking at normal volume if our house is quiet and don’t have the tv or music playing.

I our case, the master bedrooms are not above the living room so it does not cause an issue at bedtime.

So the OP’s neighbours may feel they have not got the tv volume up high. And if they are older they may indeed have hearing issues of course.

I think soundproofing is worth trying.

If the OP decides to move they would have to disclose the dispute to potential buyers.

julia08 · 16/03/2025 07:47

Really feel for you, but there’s no easy fix. Move if you can (ideally somewhere detached) and preserve your sanity and quality of life.

whatsappdoc · 16/03/2025 07:51

I'm sure all the fight fire with fire posters would not do this if it was a violent, abusive family next door so it's basically bullying to suggest it. I think I would maybe try and discuss another option eg speakers beside their beds? Front facing sound bar? They won't realise the effect if it's anything like our portable tv in the kitchen. If you sit in front of it you can hardly hear it but the sound permeates through the dining room and living room annoying everyone else! They might come round and listen in your room, might be worth trying? Feel for you.

jd88123 · 16/03/2025 07:55

Reposition your bed?

Spectre8 · 16/03/2025 07:56

Anyone putting a tv against a party wall without soundproofing it first is a cf quite frankly. Yes if that's the only.place it can go but soundproof it first so you don't disrupt other neighbours.

Feel for you. I'd personally move.

BunnyLake · 16/03/2025 07:59

I would try the soundproofing.

I was shocked to hear a very loud tv coming from a neighbour when I put my dog in the garden about 1am. They are a perfectly nice, civilised couple but very elderly. The tv must have been on full blast (I’ve heard it several more times since when dog is out late so could be a nightly occurence). Thankfully once I’m indoors I can’t hear it (detached house) but I feel sorry for anyone who can.

MyDeftDuck · 16/03/2025 08:04

We have a neighbour rather like this - does a lot of DIY very early in the morning during weekends - has his TV very loud when the football is on - has to slam his badly fitting front door (on the other end of the house incidentally) because it won't close otherwise and his DIY skills don't stretch to fixing it - stomps up and down the stairs........the list is endless and we literally feel the vibrations in our home, the noise is so bad!
We did mention this to him and it did seem a little quieter......for a week or so......but we are back to square one.
I am not one given to tit for tat but it felt so good the other day......I put a music channel on the TV, jacked up the volume........ and took myself off to the potting shed at the far end of the garden......ahh! the peace and tranquility was wonderful, I couldn't hear a single note of music.

Oopsps · 16/03/2025 08:06

I agree with others - it’s likely they sleep in in the mornings or are around alll day. Put a Tvs next to their bedroom wall and living room wall on loudly and go on holiday for a week.

HoppingPavlova · 16/03/2025 08:07

Sorry, and showing my ignorance with party walls here, but how do they differ from regular internal walls?

Our (huge) tv in living room is wall mounted on an internal wall. Our bed is on the other side of the wall. If the tv is up loud volume I can hear a very low dull muffled sound in bed. If on average volume I can’t hear anything. So wondering how a party wall is different to this?

Bellyblueboy · 16/03/2025 08:07

My parents stayed with me at Christmas - I was shocked by how loud the TV had to be for them to hear.

They live next door to an elderly woman - they think it’s funny that they can hear all her phone calls because she shouts. I couldn’t cope.

The problem is they aren’t prepared to compromise and it will get worse as their hearing deteriorates. What sort of age are they? Do they have adult children who visit? Could you do the concerned neighbor - clearly hearing issues and can no longer cope with garden. Is it time for them to get hearing aids and some help (I know they are just assholes and this is passive aggressive - but one last try).

DaNightCreeper · 16/03/2025 08:08

Big speakers.

Turned to the wall.

Motorhead's Love Me Like A Reptile.

At 11.

On loop.

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