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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be embarrassed my colleague announced my coat size to whole office

334 replies

howemb · 15/03/2025 15:19

Bit embarrassing … or am I being over sensitive?

OP posts:
Fairyliz · 15/03/2025 16:00

Come back op; I’m bored so getting over invested in MN threads.

ModernLife1sRubbish · 15/03/2025 16:01

OldCottageGreenhouse · 15/03/2025 15:53

Gobsmacked at these responses, I’d be furious! There’s no way of knowing for sure what somebody’s size is from looking at them, that’s nonsense! I know a tall and very thin woman who is a size 14 because she has an unusually large pelvis which isn’t visible from looking at her.

OP, I’d be putting in a complaint. People can roll their eyes all they like but this is that sort of low-level bullying that goes under the radar as it’s small enough on it’s own to look petty to others if you say anything, but actually it’s cumulative and is, in reality, insidious when it’s an ongoing pattern. I’ve been there.

I had a manager who did this shit. Lots & lots of little things, daily, which were never big enough alone for me to look anything other than a daft cow for complaining about it. Had me dreading work in end. I never got him disciplined but wish I had from the start, regardless of how ‘ridiculous’ some thought I was being.

You haven’t said whether this is part of a pattern of behaviour from them but if it is, please nip it in the bud.

I'm straying from the original post, I know, but I'm intrigued by the woman with the 'unusually large pelvis'. How do you even know that about someone?

Back on topic, as others have said, it all depends on the context.

2dogsandabudgie · 15/03/2025 16:01

Notonthestairs · 15/03/2025 15:25

Why would anyone need to call out the size?

If you needed to check who the coat belonged to surely you’d just describe the colour, fabric & style?

This is why people need to write their names in their coats, like we did at school 😀

PointsSouth · 15/03/2025 16:04

EddyF · 15/03/2025 15:33

There should be a rule that all context of a situation is put on the first post. Sick of threads you have to hang around to find out what the situation was. It happens here all the time.

...well..I dunno....maybe...I mean, I might agree with you on that but...er....could you give us a bit more to go on?

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 15/03/2025 16:08

Context needed obviously, but if it was done specifically to embarrass you - perhaps because you’re on the larger side - then it’s bullying. So no, in that scenario you are not being unreasonable and they could land in a lot of trouble if it continues.

PointsSouth · 15/03/2025 16:13

@OldCottageGreenhouse I know a tall and very thin woman who is a size 14 because she has an unusually large pelvis which isn’t visible from looking at her.

If you can't tell by looking at her, in what sense is her pelvis 'unusually large'?

And, even more intriguing, if you can't tell by looking at her, how do you know that her pelvis is unusually large? Was it one of those teambuilding things, where you have to share something surprising about yourself?

"Hi. I'm Terry. On weekends, I drive a miniature train."

"What fun, Terry! Anna?"

"Hello - my name's Anna. I once made a Victoria sponge that was served to Princess Eugenie."

"That's awesome, Anna! Liz?"

"Hiya, everyone. I'm Lizzie, and I have an unusually large pelvis."

"God, really, Lizzie? Cos you can't tell by looking at you. What size is your coat?"

MissBPotter · 15/03/2025 16:14

ModernLife1sRubbish · 15/03/2025 16:01

I'm straying from the original post, I know, but I'm intrigued by the woman with the 'unusually large pelvis'. How do you even know that about someone?

Back on topic, as others have said, it all depends on the context.

Show quote history

Agree this is very intriguing!!! If her pelvis is so large why isn’t it noticeable?!

I think you are probably being over sensitive and people will be able to roughly estimate your size anyway even if maybe not 100% accurately.

StumbleInTheDebris · 15/03/2025 16:18

Can someone explain what is bad about a coat size?
I think I'm missing something.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 15/03/2025 16:23

Fascinated about the unusually large pelvis that fits inside her teeny tiny frame, yet requires a larger coat...😆

Freshstartyear25 · 15/03/2025 16:25

Yeah, we need to know the context.
Anyway, I’m sure most people can guess what size your coat is just by looking at you.

Sidebeforeself · 15/03/2025 16:25

@PointsSouth 😂 I am SO going to say “I HAVE AN UNUSUALLY LARGE PELVIS” when asked for a fun fact about myself.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 15/03/2025 16:26

StumbleInTheDebris · 15/03/2025 16:18

Can someone explain what is bad about a coat size?
I think I'm missing something.

I'm guessing that the OP is embarrassed that she wears a larger sized coat and thinks that nobody would have been able to determine that she is indeed on the larger side until now, as the size of her coat has been announced.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 15/03/2025 16:26

StumbleInTheDebris · 15/03/2025 16:18

Can someone explain what is bad about a coat size?
I think I'm missing something.

Apologies, duplicate post

Teado · 15/03/2025 16:26

I think it could seem unkind if someone is smaller than an 8 or bigger than a 16, and self-conscious about it tbh. And there’s no way of knowing if they are, so it’s best to be quiet.

SherlockHomies · 15/03/2025 16:27

Sidebeforeself · 15/03/2025 16:25

@PointsSouth 😂 I am SO going to say “I HAVE AN UNUSUALLY LARGE PELVIS” when asked for a fun fact about myself.

Please say it in the coat department of a very posh shop! 🤣

"I can't possibly buy ANY of these coats as they don't cater for my unusually large pelvis. Who do I complain to?"

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 15/03/2025 16:29

SherlockHomies · 15/03/2025 16:27

Please say it in the coat department of a very posh shop! 🤣

"I can't possibly buy ANY of these coats as they don't cater for my unusually large pelvis. Who do I complain to?"

Show quote history

To whom do I complain?!! 😆

Kuretake · 15/03/2025 16:31

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 15/03/2025 16:26

I'm guessing that the OP is embarrassed that she wears a larger sized coat and thinks that nobody would have been able to determine that she is indeed on the larger side until now, as the size of her coat has been announced.

Show quote history

I, as a student of Mumsnet size threads, am going to guess the reveal will be she's actually a 4 or something. Because as every mumsnetter knows nobody has ever been known to criticise fat women but everyone is "allowed to be" horrible to thin women.

FiveTreeHill · 15/03/2025 16:32

OldCottageGreenhouse · 15/03/2025 15:53

Gobsmacked at these responses, I’d be furious! There’s no way of knowing for sure what somebody’s size is from looking at them, that’s nonsense! I know a tall and very thin woman who is a size 14 because she has an unusually large pelvis which isn’t visible from looking at her.

OP, I’d be putting in a complaint. People can roll their eyes all they like but this is that sort of low-level bullying that goes under the radar as it’s small enough on it’s own to look petty to others if you say anything, but actually it’s cumulative and is, in reality, insidious when it’s an ongoing pattern. I’ve been there.

I had a manager who did this shit. Lots & lots of little things, daily, which were never big enough alone for me to look anything other than a daft cow for complaining about it. Had me dreading work in end. I never got him disciplined but wish I had from the start, regardless of how ‘ridiculous’ some thought I was being.

You haven’t said whether this is part of a pattern of behaviour from them but if it is, please nip it in the bud.

But your opinion on what size her body is isn't going to change knowing she wears a size 14 coat.

You can see how big people are when you look at them. Knowing they have at some point bought a coat that's a size 16 or whatever doesn't affect your knowledge of how big they are.

soupyspoon · 15/03/2025 16:34

Fairyliz · 15/03/2025 16:00

Come back op; I’m bored so getting over invested in MN threads.

Me too Im waiting for the response before I do my next lot of cleaning and tidying, I havent got all day!!

FiveTreeHill · 15/03/2025 16:34

Also I'm picturing what a tall thin woman with a hidden unusually large pelvis may look like

Mudkipper · 15/03/2025 16:35

I've had this done to me (not in a work environment) and the person who did it was very hung up about her own weight so it was done to make her feel a bit better.

Sidebeforeself · 15/03/2025 16:36

Someone is going to take Unusuallylargepelvis as a username aren’t they?

Kuretake · 15/03/2025 16:36

FiveTreeHill · 15/03/2025 16:34

Also I'm picturing what a tall thin woman with a hidden unusually large pelvis may look like

It's intriguing. We know the pelvis is wide enough to require a size 14 yet not visible by looking at her.

soupyspoon · 15/03/2025 16:37

Kuretake · 15/03/2025 16:36

It's intriguing. We know the pelvis is wide enough to require a size 14 yet not visible by looking at her.

Show quote history

She'll walk like John Wayne surely?

JillAndJenTheFlowerpotMen · 15/03/2025 16:39

I just don’t understand the biology here. So with this unusually large pelvis on the tall skinny woman, she wouldn’t have had a large waist and the bum would be small, but the hips perhaps wider than usual. I don’t see why the coat would have to be big.

unless it was an unusually large unusually large pelvis. Any medics around who have expertise in skeletal conditions?