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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have ditched twat DH at the airport and gone on holiday without him?

1000 replies

AskingForTacos · 14/03/2025 16:07

I’m 32 and have never had a holiday abroad. It’s a combination of things really, growing up I had 2 disabled siblings and it wasn’t practical or financially possible to travel. Had a couple of caravan holidays in the rain but hated them as it unsettled my siblings and everybody was stressed.

Became a single mum at 21 (DD now 11), so once again couldn’t afford holidays. Met DH 4 years ago and we have a 2 year old DS. DH has been well-travelled over the years, but hasn’t had a holiday since meeting me as we’ve been saving up for general life expenses. The end of last year I have a bereavement and became quite sentimental, emotional about my children and general life experiences and sort of had a “grab life by the reins” moment and told DH I wanted to have a sunny family holiday together, and he agreed. We’re both a bit tight and I also don’t cope with overly hot weather (anything above 25 degrees is too much) so have chosen to go in March and set off early this morning. And before anybody asks yes I’m going to pay the fine from DD school.

Flight was with Ryanair. I had a checked bag for mine and the toddler’s stuff, DD had a 10kg carry on. Mine and DD’s bags were full but within guidelines. DH travels light so decided to just take a personal bag and filled it to the brim. He even ordered some sort of zip extension thing from Amazon to make it close more than it naturally should. I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Me, DD and the baby sail through the gate and he gets stopped. I asked, in fact, begged him to just pay the extra charge so we could be on our way, we could afford it. It could’ve just been chalked up a lesson learnt, but no, he had to be a dick about it. He was abusive to staff and called a girl who only looked about 20 a “jobsworth bitch”. At this point, he was told he would not be travelling (rightly so). He changed his tune then and tried to pay the fine but they weren’t having it. It was like an episode of Airline circa 1999. He then started an irritating speech about how it’s disgraceful etc etc and tried to get us all escorted out with him. I initially was going to go with him because I was stressed but DD was absolutely devastated as she’s been looking forward to the holiday for months. She started crying and I decided me and the kids would still go.

We arrived a few hours ago and are settled in our hotel but I’m on edge. I’ve spoken to him on the phone and he thinks I was a cow for leaving him. He’s coming out tomorrow on a different flight (from a different airport...) and I’m dreading it. On the phone he said we should’ve all gone out tomorrow together. It’s only a 7 night holiday and who knows when the next one will be so for me every second counts especially as we wanted a combination of excursions and chilling days in the resort. If we flew out tomorrow we'd only get 2 resort days not to mention paying for all new flights. He’s not physically abusive or anything like that, I’m not scared, I just can’t be arsed listening to the moaning. Was I wrong to go without him?

OP posts:
AskingForTacos · 14/03/2025 16:09

I still want to try and enjoy tonight but it's DS's nap time, hence why I'm in the hotel room on MN!

OP posts:
ScienceFanGirl · 14/03/2025 16:09

Well done for going without him. He sounds vile.

Rachie1973 · 14/03/2025 16:10

God no! He should have paid up or packed properly in the first place. Enjoy your holiday. Warn him in advance you’ll not be listening to him moaning though.

MagicPharmacist · 14/03/2025 16:10

Well he’s an absolute prince among men, isn’t he?

Tight, miserable and abusive to service staff. Gross.

Enjoy your holiday, you have done nothing wrong and are setting an excellent example for your children.

AskingForTacos · 14/03/2025 16:11

He's annoyed that I didn't back him up and show a united front against the Ryanair staff, it's pathetic.

OP posts:
Bristollocalknowledge · 14/03/2025 16:11

So he isn’t physically abusive just emotionally abusive. You and your children deserve so much more than this.

TheShadowOfTheWizard · 14/03/2025 16:11

Just tell him not to bother coming. He sounds like a right dick.

GreenFrogYellow · 14/03/2025 16:12

yanbu and any man who speaks to somebody like that can get in the bin as far as I’m concerned

KateMiskin · 14/03/2025 16:12

I would have done the same! He sounds awful. Abusing staff is always wrong.

DollopOfFun · 14/03/2025 16:12

Ugh. Poor kids (#makingmemories)

YANBU for leaving him there, shame he's joining you at all.

CrispyK · 14/03/2025 16:12

What an idiot. I find it hard to believe he is supposedly well travelled!

Throwntothewolves · 14/03/2025 16:13

Good for you! He was completely in the wrong and deserves the consequences. If you had stayed back with him it would have sent the message that you'll stand by him regardless of his behaviour. Tell him not to come, and use the time apart to decide whether you want to be with someone who thinks nothing of behaving abusively toward a young woman trying to do her job, upsetting his family into the bargain.
I hope you have a great holiday with your kids

Radiatorvalves · 14/03/2025 16:13

He may find that his return flight is cancelled too. What an unpleasant idiot.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 14/03/2025 16:13

Good on you! I’d have done the same, or like to think I would have!

Hope you have a great time, with and without him.

P.s Get him to check that his return flight hasn’t been cancelled.

FrenchFancie · 14/03/2025 16:13

Personally I would seriously be reconsidering the future of this relationship. He’s tried to dodge paying for something he should do, then been abusive to staff when caught out. Not someone I would want to keep in my life if his behaviour continues….

FrenchFancie · 14/03/2025 16:14

Oh yes, and check his return flight and that he hasn’t been blacklisted for abusive behaviour.

WhereIsMyJumper · 14/03/2025 16:14

Nope. I want to high five you for going anyway. Fair play. Don’t let him ruin the rest of the holiday!

Hollietree · 14/03/2025 16:14

I would have done exactly the same. Stand firm @AskingForTacos - why should all of you (including children) be punished for his shitty behaviour? And why pay for new flights for all of you when you can just pay for his new flight.

In fact I would tell him firmly that he is only to get on that flight and join you if he is going to apologise for being a brat, not put any blame on you, arrive with a smile and get on with having a nice family holiday. If he isn’t going to do that, then he shouldn’t get on a plane.

murasaki · 14/03/2025 16:14

You can tell a lot about people by how they treat staff, waiters, shop assistants etc.

He's shown you who he is, and it isn't pretty.

Bradley28 · 14/03/2025 16:15

Good for you. I’d have left him behind as well. Switch off your phone and make the absolute most of your well deserved week. Sounds like you have waited long enough for it x

ScienceFanGirl · 14/03/2025 16:16

murasaki · 14/03/2025 16:14

You can tell a lot about people by how they treat staff, waiters, shop assistants etc.

He's shown you who he is, and it isn't pretty.

I totally agree with this.

Iknowaboutpopular · 14/03/2025 16:16

Well done gal for putting yourself and the kids first in this horrible situation that was entirely his doing. You did the right thing. He sounds like a fucking tool.
Has he ever behaved like this before?

Doingtheboxerbeat · 14/03/2025 16:16

So proud of you 👏.

HomeTheatreSystem · 14/03/2025 16:16

You are fabulous 👌
Hold the line and if he whinges further upon arrival, tell him to STFU so you can enjoy the holiday with your kids.

CoffeeFoam · 14/03/2025 16:17

Hollietree · 14/03/2025 16:14

I would have done exactly the same. Stand firm @AskingForTacos - why should all of you (including children) be punished for his shitty behaviour? And why pay for new flights for all of you when you can just pay for his new flight.

In fact I would tell him firmly that he is only to get on that flight and join you if he is going to apologise for being a brat, not put any blame on you, arrive with a smile and get on with having a nice family holiday. If he isn’t going to do that, then he shouldn’t get on a plane.

This.
Do not let his hurty feelings spoil your holiday

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