Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have ditched twat DH at the airport and gone on holiday without him?

1000 replies

AskingForTacos · 14/03/2025 16:07

I’m 32 and have never had a holiday abroad. It’s a combination of things really, growing up I had 2 disabled siblings and it wasn’t practical or financially possible to travel. Had a couple of caravan holidays in the rain but hated them as it unsettled my siblings and everybody was stressed.

Became a single mum at 21 (DD now 11), so once again couldn’t afford holidays. Met DH 4 years ago and we have a 2 year old DS. DH has been well-travelled over the years, but hasn’t had a holiday since meeting me as we’ve been saving up for general life expenses. The end of last year I have a bereavement and became quite sentimental, emotional about my children and general life experiences and sort of had a “grab life by the reins” moment and told DH I wanted to have a sunny family holiday together, and he agreed. We’re both a bit tight and I also don’t cope with overly hot weather (anything above 25 degrees is too much) so have chosen to go in March and set off early this morning. And before anybody asks yes I’m going to pay the fine from DD school.

Flight was with Ryanair. I had a checked bag for mine and the toddler’s stuff, DD had a 10kg carry on. Mine and DD’s bags were full but within guidelines. DH travels light so decided to just take a personal bag and filled it to the brim. He even ordered some sort of zip extension thing from Amazon to make it close more than it naturally should. I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Me, DD and the baby sail through the gate and he gets stopped. I asked, in fact, begged him to just pay the extra charge so we could be on our way, we could afford it. It could’ve just been chalked up a lesson learnt, but no, he had to be a dick about it. He was abusive to staff and called a girl who only looked about 20 a “jobsworth bitch”. At this point, he was told he would not be travelling (rightly so). He changed his tune then and tried to pay the fine but they weren’t having it. It was like an episode of Airline circa 1999. He then started an irritating speech about how it’s disgraceful etc etc and tried to get us all escorted out with him. I initially was going to go with him because I was stressed but DD was absolutely devastated as she’s been looking forward to the holiday for months. She started crying and I decided me and the kids would still go.

We arrived a few hours ago and are settled in our hotel but I’m on edge. I’ve spoken to him on the phone and he thinks I was a cow for leaving him. He’s coming out tomorrow on a different flight (from a different airport...) and I’m dreading it. On the phone he said we should’ve all gone out tomorrow together. It’s only a 7 night holiday and who knows when the next one will be so for me every second counts especially as we wanted a combination of excursions and chilling days in the resort. If we flew out tomorrow we'd only get 2 resort days not to mention paying for all new flights. He’s not physically abusive or anything like that, I’m not scared, I just can’t be arsed listening to the moaning. Was I wrong to go without him?

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 14/03/2025 16:52

He’s a fucking prick and a tight arse one at that.

No one likes paying extra for hold luggage but it is what it is. And it’s common knowledge that Ryanair are ultra strict and make you pay if your carry on is a gram over the permitted allowance.

Have a lovely chilled evening with your kids

Firebird83 · 14/03/2025 16:52

He sounds awful

GreenShirtLace · 14/03/2025 16:52

You don’t need us to tell you, that you absolutely did the right thing.
I hate people being rude and obnoxious to people in public, doing their jobs.

He should have accepted gracefully that he was in the wrong, and he wouldn’t have got into that situation.

I’m pleased that you didn’t stoop to his level, and I don’t even know you .

Life isn't easy, and it’s too short for this nonsense.

skyeisthelimit · 14/03/2025 16:52

YANBU. Well done on putting your DC first and continuing with the holiday.

I agree with PP, tell him in advance that you don't want to spend the holiday listening to him moaning, it's over and done with and you just want to enjoy the holiday with DC.

You couldn't do anything to support him at the airport, he broke the rules, end of. Nobody but Ryanair would have gained by the rest of you remaining as well.

Don't let him spoil the trip

TinselAngel · 14/03/2025 16:52

AskingForTacos · 14/03/2025 16:11

He's annoyed that I didn't back him up and show a united front against the Ryanair staff, it's pathetic.

I don’t see how you could have backed him up. Something is either too heavy or it isn’t.

Sunat45degrees · 14/03/2025 16:52

I agree with everything everyone else has said. I want to add that he's also not very smart is he? Sorry to run salt into the wound but ffs, airlines have been cracking down on luggage for YEARS now. Anyone who turns up with just a carry on that theu have purposefully extended is an idiot if they think that's going to work. Especially on Ryanair!!!!!

Treeleaf11 · 14/03/2025 16:53

You did the right thing. Well done.
Your bag was already on the plane so you couldn't have not gone on.

Ryanstartedthefire22 · 14/03/2025 16:53

That would give me the ick so badly and I wouldn't be able to deal with it. So low class and aggressive. Gross. Such a shame your kids had to witness. You definitely did the right thing! Enjoy yourselves before he gets there. Sounds like he could lose the plot at any point with a waitress or something so I wouldn't want to be around him. I hope he has some redeeming features for your sake.

MrsAga · 14/03/2025 16:53

AskingForTacos · 14/03/2025 16:11

He's annoyed that I didn't back him up and show a united front against the Ryanair staff, it's pathetic.

What would that have achieved other than getting you all chucked off the flight & 4 new return tickets to buy?
Warn him to leave his attitude at home & don’t try to discuss it when he does arrive.

As others have said; get him to check if he can use the return flight, or book an alternative one.

Cosyblankets · 14/03/2025 16:53

Who would have paid for the rest of the flights?

Mumofnarnia · 14/03/2025 16:53

Oh another narcissistic type person who thinks he’s above the rules and can buy an extension zip thingy to squeeze more stuff in his bag knowing full well the very strict rules of Ryanair. Then abuses the 20 year old airport staff and calls her a ‘jobsworth bitch’ because he thought he was above the rules. Then tried to sweet talk the staff when he realised they were not backing down, only to then get nasty again when his sweet talking didn’t go his way.

Op I get a feeling he’s pretty much like this quite a lot. I’m so glad you went without him and didn’t back down. However, I’m sure you’ll be the one getting the blame for not going with him or for not telling him his bag was too full (even though you probably did) when he eventually does fly out to you tomorrow. I have a feeling he is going to try and suck the joy out of this holiday and ruin it for you and your dc.

Sortumn · 14/03/2025 16:54

You did exactly the right thing.
Has he been like this before in the way that he treats people?

I hope you have a great time and that he arrives tomorrow having reflected on his behaviour.

HereintheloveofChristIstand · 14/03/2025 16:54

I am amazed that you are even going to allow him into your hotel room after he spoke to another person like that in front of your young child and his step daughter. He is a first class imbecile and you deserve better

CrystalMighty · 14/03/2025 16:54

You are brilliant, well done.
I'm sorry you're husband is such a dick.
I really hope you and the kids get to enjoy your holiday and that he doesn't ruin it for anyone.
What a shame he's joining you. Hopefully he'll get lost 🤞

Ilovelurchers · 14/03/2025 16:55

CrispyK · 14/03/2025 16:12

What an idiot. I find it hard to believe he is supposedly well travelled!

Why, out of interest? Lots of people who travel a lot are also entitled dicks in my experience - happy to have a deleterious impact on the planet for their own recreational pleasure. (I am not suggesting everyone who travels a lot would be abusive like OP's husbandz obviously).

CrystalMighty · 14/03/2025 16:55

CrystalMighty · 14/03/2025 16:54

You are brilliant, well done.
I'm sorry you're husband is such a dick.
I really hope you and the kids get to enjoy your holiday and that he doesn't ruin it for anyone.
What a shame he's joining you. Hopefully he'll get lost 🤞

*your

insomniaclife · 14/03/2025 16:56

Well done OP.

Charliecatpaws · 14/03/2025 16:57

Jeez why pay for 4 extra flights ?
you did the right thing by going alone I would have walked off when he started abusing the member of staff

SleeplessinPendle · 14/03/2025 16:58

You did the right thing but he sounds awful, you should leave him. Don't normalise abusive relationships to your DD.

Biglifedecisions · 14/03/2025 16:58

Good on you!!!

Now order a lovely large glass of something lovely and celebrate your holiday!

You are an absolute credit and role model to your dd op. You are teaching her not to put up with a silly man child having a tantrum. Enjoy the time with her.

TwistedWonder · 14/03/2025 16:59

My sister once left her now ex at the airport and had a 5 night break on her own instead.

He fancied around so much and was always the passenger getting ‘final call for’ while he was in duty free buying giant chocolate bars and cheap fags.
After a few times she had enough, told him she was getting on and without him and if he missed flight that’s his problem.

She had a lovely chilled time without him 😊

BillyILash · 14/03/2025 16:59

I hope you told him he was acting like an immature prick and abusive bully and you have no intention of allowing him to ruin yours and the DCs holiday. He needs to grow up and apologise to you all.

valderan · 14/03/2025 16:59

So the tight arsed git stuffed a bag that exceeded the limits.
By refusing to pay the extra and insulting and berating staff, he had to pay for ANOTHER flight anyway. Probably lost money in the end. Good.
Anyone who has a go at service (or any) staff in full view of everyone is a prick of the highest order, and that kind of behaviour seems to be a trait in all pricks.
I have a feeling he will make your life a bit of a misery during the week.
If he kicks off and annoys you, I'd ask the hotel to remove him to another room and make HIM pay for it.
Lastly, I couldn't live like this. On edge waiting for his next explosion. Consider your options very soon my love. Life is for living and we all deserve happiness.

jackstini · 14/03/2025 16:59

You were absolutely not wrong to go without him

He was in the wrong in the first place, then he was rude, misogynistic and had a tantrum. You do not teach your children that those are good behaviours to support!

Even putting aside the fact he was a dick; both practically and financially, it would also have been the wrong decision for you to go later, and upsetting for the children

His fault - he gets to suffer the consequences - now that is a good lesson for the DC!

Secondstart1001 · 14/03/2025 17:00

Enjoy your well deserved holiday and don’t let him bully or ruin it for you all!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.