To have ditched twat DH at the airport and gone on holiday without him?

[AskingForTacos]

I’m 32 and have never had a holiday abroad. It’s a combination of things really, growing up I had 2 disabled siblings and it wasn’t practical or financially possible to travel. Had a couple of caravan holidays in the rain but hated them as it unsettled my siblings and everybody was stressed.

Became a single mum at 21 (DD now 11), so once again couldn’t afford holidays. Met DH 4 years ago and we have a 2 year old DS. DH has been well-travelled over the years, but hasn’t had a holiday since meeting me as we’ve been saving up for general life expenses. The end of last year I have a bereavement and became quite sentimental, emotional about my children and general life experiences and sort of had a “grab life by the reins” moment and told DH I wanted to have a sunny family holiday together, and he agreed. We’re both a bit tight and I also don’t cope with overly hot weather (anything above 25 degrees is too much) so have chosen to go in March and set off early this morning. And before anybody asks yes I’m going to pay the fine from DD school.

Flight was with Ryanair. I had a checked bag for mine and the toddler’s stuff, DD had a 10kg carry on. Mine and DD’s bags were full but within guidelines. DH travels light so decided to just take a personal bag and filled it to the brim. He even ordered some sort of zip extension thing from Amazon to make it close more than it naturally should. I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Me, DD and the baby sail through the gate and he gets stopped. I asked, in fact, begged him to just pay the extra charge so we could be on our way, we could afford it. It could’ve just been chalked up a lesson learnt, but no, he had to be a dick about it. He was abusive to staff and called a girl who only looked about 20 a “jobsworth bitch”. At this point, he was told he would not be travelling (rightly so). He changed his tune then and tried to pay the fine but they weren’t having it. It was like an episode of Airline circa 1999. He then started an irritating speech about how it’s disgraceful etc etc and tried to get us all escorted out with him. I initially was going to go with him because I was stressed but DD was absolutely devastated as she’s been looking forward to the holiday for months. She started crying and I decided me and the kids would still go.

We arrived a few hours ago and are settled in our hotel but I’m on edge. I’ve spoken to him on the phone and he thinks I was a cow for leaving him. He’s coming out tomorrow on a different flight (from a different airport...) and I’m dreading it. On the phone he said we should’ve all gone out tomorrow together. It’s only a 7 night holiday and who knows when the next one will be so for me every second counts especially as we wanted a combination of excursions and chilling days in the resort. If we flew out tomorrow we'd only get 2 resort days not to mention paying for all new flights. He’s not physically abusive or anything like that, I’m not scared, I just can’t be arsed listening to the moaning. Was I wrong to go without him?

Ryanair don't do return flights so no it won't be

YANBU. Great job continuing with your holiday as planned. Why would you "back up" his appalling behaviour? If you and your DC had left the airport with him you'd have been positively rewarding such ignorant, childish behaviour. And imagine being that 20-something staff member being called that when she was just doing the job she's employed to do? You showed your DC (a) that you shouldn't treat people so rudely, and (b) bad behaviour gets punished. Good for you! Hope you have a lovely holiday - in spite of your DH - and hope he's had time to realise how wrong his behaviour was and apologises to you and your DC when he finally arrives.

Good for you.

You have shown your daughter that you won't be controlled by a partner or tolerate poor behaviour and that is a really, really good standard to set. She'll remember the time you put her needs before a grown man's.

What are you going to do about him calling someone doing their job a bitch and generally being really unpleasant?

It's your relationship and you need to do right by you and your children. However I would be telling him not to bother coming on holiday at all. I would need time away from him.

I would guarantee the Ryanair staff would be silently clapping you for leaving without him, and probably any passengers who also witnessed his delightful behaviour!
Well done for continuing your plans. Enjoy your holiday!

This. Absolutely.

Make his arrival conditional on good behaviour. The DC were upset and scared by the scene. He's an adult. He tried to get away with having something for nothing ( the extra luggage) and he shot himself in the foot.

He should be apologising to all of you. Not being annoyed with you for not having "his back" . What exactly did he expect you to do, walk back through security and start shouting "Let my husband on the flight."

He doesn't care about upsetting you or your children. He's tight, but he'd rather make you both pay for 8 flights instead of just 5...

Tell him not to bother coming if he's going to spend the holiday making you pay for not having his back and cannot see why being abusive to travel staff is why he was banned. And nothing you said or did would have made the outcome any different. The children were your priority. He's an adult, supposedly and can look after himself!

Well done you for being strong and going without him with the children. Why should you all lose a day's holiday because your DH is an ass?
I'm glad the airline refused to let him travel. Morons like him are the last thing check in staff need to deal with, imagine how it coukd of behaved on the planned.

Go on you hero amongst women!

Enjoy your holiday, don't let the bastard get you down xx

Yes, absolutely this

If I’d been chucked off a flight the absolute LAST thing I would want was my partner and kids to also need last minute tickets too - it’s Would have been bad enough to pay again for myself - what a waste of money!!!!

Dont let him bully you!!! It would have been insane to stay with him at the airport!

Not only would I be going on holiday without him, I'd also be continuing the rest of my life without him.

Well reading the opening I was thinking 'oh no you've not missed your holiday for him being an arse hole'.

But no, you've gone. Absolutely right.

If he kicks off make it purely financial. Not worth paying four times new flights or trying to get a space. Easier for one.

But for the sake of your holiday probably best to try and move on.

Well done. Good for you. He thoroughly deserved this.

Make it crystal clear now before he flies out tomorrow that you will not be tolerating any further dickhead behaviour from him once he arrives and you trust that he will actually know how to behave. Tell him that you expect him to help you give the kids a great holiday without any further spoilt brat behaviour.

I would have done the same as you and if he called you a cow for not supporting him I would tell him not to bother coming. Is this out of character for him or have you seen displays of this rudeness, disrespect and lack of common courtesy from him before? Try to forget about him and just focus on you, DD and toddler and hopefully have a nice holiday.

If he hasn’t already been blacklisted for abusive behaviour, I’d give Ryanair a call and ask them to blacklist him asap. That way you don’t have to deal with the arsehole turning up tomorrow.

What. An. Utter. Bellend.

You are fabulous
You did absolutely the right thing.

Your partner is a dick, we all know that verbal abuse is wrong and in an airport can get you thrown off your flight. He chose to behave appallingly and has to deal with the consequences.

You have minimised the financial impact on your family by going on the flights you booked.
You have minimised the emotional impact on your children by sticking to your plans.

YANBU. I would ask him how he will feel when his DC are a job worth bitch, or cunt if his son, when they are working?

You 100% did the right thing!

If the bag is too big the bag is too big. They will make you pay even if its a centimetre on the corner sticking out. Ryanair is the worst for this.
His behaviour was disgusting and you did the right thing.
Try and not let it ruin the holiday. Hes coming now anyway so just try and keep things as good as you can and argue about it when yoh get back

In fact I would tell him firmly that he is only to get on that flight and join you if he is going to apologise for being a brat, not put any blame on you, arrive with a smile and get on with having a nice family holiday. If he isn’t going to do that, then he shouldn’t get on a plane.

this 100%

He was abusive to staff and called a girl who only looked about 20 a “jobsworth bitch”

He sounds like a piece of work. Tell him if he’s going to sulk and spoil the holiday, not to bother joining you.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Well done OP, he sounds like an absolute fool to put it politely.

Agree. Vile man.

Your man is a bully and a dickhead. Good for you going without him! I doubt that’s the only time he has been a prick

Apart from him being a twat and you are right to go without him - if you put up a united front you would have had to pay for 4 flights to go out the next day! Best for you 3 to go ahead!