Content Warning (concerns S.A.) Added by MNHQ - To have expected more from school safeguarding

[123dontcomeatme]

I honestly feel like I'm in an alternative universe at the moment.

My daughter is in her last year of a levels. She has been raped and experienced other sexual assults and cohersive control. This has been taken to the police, its taken about 6 weeks but she's done the interview, has an ivsa, therapy in place.

During this time her school attendance has been sporadic. I think that is understandable. The police, ivsa and therapy all talk about this being a hard time and doing what she feels comfortable doing etc.
The school are getting shirty.
Ive kept in communication with the school, the ivsa has spoken to them too.

Despite this, I had a call from safeguarding last night, pushing for my daughter to do her mocks. I said she had been doing well but the arrest too place on Wednesday and we have both had harassment from the family since, which has been reported and is being dealt with and how that's been very difficult, I couldn't work on Wednesday, my emotions were too huge, let alone my daughter.

The safeguarding lead then said, ' well hopefully she will bounce back quicker this time, that's the issue with children now, they need to build more resilience.

I am just dumbstruck.

I replied that this was a very serious matter and that if she was working it would be likely she would be off sick and she just gave me a patronising ' hmmm'

This isnt ok, is it.
I dont have any fight left in me now, but this isn't ok. Why do schools expect children to be like robots.

Hes the principal.

Dd hasn't gone in to school today. I asked her what she wanted to do and this added stress since thur is too much.

I already know we aren't going to get anywhere with this.

Is he also the school's Safeguarding Lead? It should say on their website. If so, that's why he can't investigate, because he'll be investigating himself as the person who should've been responding in the first place.

What an utter shit show though. I wouldn't give up though – at the very least your DD needs access arrangements in place so she can sit her exams in a smaller room to offset any anxiety.

If it's part of a trust, safeguarding concerns re the head should be able to be escalated to the trust safeguarding lead.

But I don't blame you if you don't have the energy to take it further.

@123dontcomeatmeI would strongly suggest you start the formal complaints process. If you use the prices the Head must respond. As he has not to date, you have been unable to resolve the issue. Therefore you can use the formal complaints procedure. It will be on their web site. Make sure you follow it closely. If the head does not respond, or there’s still an issue, you can complain to the governors.

Im amazed there has not been a multi agency meeting about this with you present.

I think an independent investigator may actually be a good thing ? They seem hopeless

I’m confused as to why a head can’t investigate what happens in his own school? Ask him if you should contact the local authority, ofsted or the school governors instead.

@123dontcomeatme ,

The person to copy e mails to is the governor responsible for safeguarding.

This should be on the school website. They sit above the head and DSL when it comes to safeguarding and is the appropriate person to go to if you are concerned about the head re safeguarding.

@NewbutoldfatherThe safeguarding governor has NO role in a complaint. The OP must read the policies of the school. The complaints procedure will be on the web site. A governor has no operational role at all. Knowing about the case will preclude them from sitting on the complaints panel of governors. So could be counter-productive.

A governor absolutely does not sit above the head and safeguarding lead. That is totally incorrect. Governors are there for strategy and strategic vision. They do not get involved in any day today running of the school. They must have a panel to hear formal complaints not resolved by the head.

@LurkyMcLurkinsonIf the OP makes a formal complaint, the head MUST investigate and respond. She needs to go through the formal hoops - they are not onerous. As the Head has not responded she needs to set out the complaint in line with the complaints procedure. It could be the complaint (about the head) goes straight to the chair of governors. The policy will make this clear. If it’s about the safeguarding lead, it’s to the head - formally following the policy.

@TizerorFizz ,

‘A governor absolutely does not sit above the head and safeguarding lead. That is totally incorrect. Governors are there for strategy and strategic vision. They do not get involved in any day today running of the school. They must have a panel to hear formal complaints not resolved by the head.’

You are being quite pernickety and somewhat contradictory in this post.

Having been both a teacher and a governor (not on the safeguarding committee admittedly) I can assure you that the board of governors will take very seriously any parental complaint re a failure of the head teacher to adequately safeguard. Ultimately the school could fail an inspection if they chose to just ignore it.

Different schools have different structures (independent, academy, free schools or local authority schools) but copying the safeguarding governor on a serious safeguarding complaint will ensure it is taken seriously.

I can assure you that the board of governors will take very seriously any parental complaint re a failure of the head teacher to adequately safeguard. Ultimately the school could fail an inspection if they chose to just ignore it.

THis is true - I've been the safeguarding governor in an FE college and it is taken very seriously indeed. However it is much better to take the complaint to the Chair of Governors rather than the safeguarding governor (as PP have said) as the latter is likely to be the first port of call to investigate.

You would have hoped the HT might have said I can’t do it because of zyz. (Would expect decent explanation) but I have referred to Y who will be in contact. Big hugs!

@NewbutoldfatherI did not say a formal complaint would not be taken seriously. You said complain to the Safeguarding Governor. That’s incorrect advice and should be knocked back with advice to follow the complaints procedure. This does not appear to be a safeguarding incident in school.

Having been a governor of 3 schools it really is best to follow the complaints procedure. You don’t complain to an individual or safeguarding Governor committee. You follow the complaints procedure. They will investigate the complaint and definitely take it seriously. They should also look at a whole school approach to integrating traumatized dc and expect evidence that this is successfully implemented. The Governors should think about ensuring all dc come first. The OP could flag this up with the Safeguarding Governor but it’s not the same as a complaint against the member of staff or the head.

Ok. Update
I've been contacted by an appointed person to deal with the complaint. I have a phone call with her tomorrow.

I've been told I will be contacted by someone else re support by the end of today... so far I've heard nothing.

The principal email was rude. I don't think he took kindly to me saying I would escalate.

Dd saw her isva today who is going to contact the school again, she was horrified and also shocked that no support measures have been put in place as they have policy they are meant to followed.

They have also offered me support through something like ' support for people who are supporting people of sexual violence ' so I'm taking that. She said neither of us should be dealing with this and that dd is doing exceptionally well to even be at school.

Obviously no one contacted me about support as promised.

So I chased it.
Again.

And told them they ivsa would be contacting the school too as they aren't following policy.

Ive been given a name of who will call me... expect it will be tomorrow.

It should not be this hard and it should not come after 6 weeks of me fighting.

@123dontcomeatme

Just a huge well done to you and your daughter. No it shouldn’t be this hard and you are both showing incredible resilience.

In my experience, you will need to continue with the chasing. There will be a lot of buck passing and people trying to avoid accountability. In my situation, the school is ultimately run by the Local Authority. I have found the Local Authority more helpful than the school, but very difficult to contact.

I don't feel resilient, I feel exhausted.

I spoke with dd this morning to double check what she wanted, which is to do her exams and then leave. She has 2 months till exams start, 2 weeks of which is the Easter break.

Its just 6 weeks, we can get through 6 weeks .
If it was longer, I don't think we could, but it's not long. We just have to pull together, I'll fight, she just needs to keep putting one foot in front of the other. We will get there.

I wish you and your daughter well @123dontcomeatme . The school are beyond abysmal and just lacking in any humanity or empathy. I hope the IVSA gives them a kick up the arse.

What @purplepandas said. Wishing you both well.

@123dontcomeatme
Do you have the relevant policies to hand? I would make sure you know what they should be doing. Then they can be held to account when you have to write the details of your complaint.

Horrified at the awful treatment OP. please keep a paper trail (it sounds like you already are). Keep copies of emails and make notes of phone calls.

@123dontcomeatme any further correspondence today?

Yes!
I spoke with the person who is handling the complaint, she was very very good..
It's being split in two, the formal complaint will take 6 weeks. She's noted we need immediate support now, has appointed someone, briefed them and we have a face to face meeting next week. Emergency communication will be sent out to teachers to basically leave dd alone in the meantime.

Dds isva is also on the case and has escalated from her side.

She seemed quite shocked that no one had called me or requested a meeting from my emails, there were numerous emails dating back to early Feb.. she asked what support had been put in place already and couldn't believe there was nothing.

I am exhausted but feel like I can exhale a little bit. I'm hoping to sleep better tonight and thst dd feels able to go to school tomorrow and we can have a few more normal days.

Thank you to everyone, your messages have given me strength when I had none.