What do you think of this family house rule?

[Porcell]

People in the house are not allowed to come downstairs in the morning without being fully dressed/clean and moderately groomed.

This does not apply to school kids during the week. But at the weekends/school holidays memebers of the household are not allowed to be in pyjamas. They can veg out on the sofa but they have to be groomed and in clean clothes. Trackies are allowed.

I don't think having fresh breath, clean teeth, washed faces and brushed hair is a big ask.
No one in my household has worn pyjamas for the last 20 years, so they always put on a tshirt and shorts/joggers to come downstairs.
Except DH ,who has started coming down in his pants and old t-shirt now he's semi-retired, and it is a source of friction - I don't like it and have made it very clear.

Controlling !

At what age would you think this rule should be relaxed? I'm 74 and no one is going to tell me when I should get dressed. Mind, nobody (including my parents) would have told me when and what to wear when I was 14 and expected me to comply.

I think the idea "my house my rules" immediately puts anyone else in a subservient position. Our home, our rules seems more sensible and a lot kinder too. Who wants to live with people who have been bludgeon ed into thinking they were subservient.

When your children are adults, would you be ok being told what you could or couldn't wear for breakfast?

Worryingly controlling.

Feel very sorry for the dc

So, it is you that is imposing this rule @Porcell

Stupid

Course you should be allowed to come downstairs in your pyjamas! Ridiculous rule

I don't let me or my child have pyjamas days though. But she's 11 so that may change. We will take it as it comes with that.

No one has to be 'groomed'

Your house, your rules.
It won't do them any harm to have that routine.
Many families stay in pajamas at the weekend, also teaching their DC that it is normal.
Neither is right or wrong.

What if they change into clean PJs after brushing teeth, washing face and brushing hair? Would the at be enough? If so I think it’s ok. But some people (including me lol) love to slob around in comfy PJs all day on the weekend if they have nowhere they have to be.

Christ what a way to make your kids run a million miles from you the second they turn 18, and never look back.

Additionally I highly doubt someone so wildly unreasonable about this specific thing runs a pleasant, welcoming home in other ways

I don't agree with the fundamental issue of homes having “rules” but I do agree that slobbing about in nightwear during the day isn't something I want to see in my home

How hard is it to put some clothes on?

Those children must loathe the parent making this shit up. They'll be off as soon as they can.

Why won’t you say if it’s you or not?

Anyway it’s ridiculously controlling. There is no need for such rules.

Mumsnet at its best,

It is not 'worryingly controlling' so want children to get dressed 😂 routine and structure are importantly for children and so expecting them to be washed and dressed in the morning is entirely acceptable.

I like it.

I impose the “rule” on myself, but mostly because we have a dog and I don’t want dog hairs all over my pyjamas, but also because if I don’t get face washed / teeth brushed / dressed before going downstairs, I’m prone to rot in my pyjamas all day and I don’t feel good for it. I think getting dressed has been shown to be good for your mental health, and I can’t think of anything worse than a tea or coffee before brushing my teeth. Most of the time I’m dressing into lounge wear the rarely gets worn outside, so it’s more like downstairs pyjamas but I wouldn’t sleep in them and they’re passable if I do leave the house.

I’m also not a bastion of cleanliness, I shower 3 times a week most weeks so it’s not like I’m a Mumsnet clean freak either.

I would not follow that rule, sounds awful sorry

It won’t necessarily do the children harm but it will do their relationship with their mother harm.

To respect her as a parent they need to see her exercising that power in a way that makes sense, not in a way that arbitrarily makes their lives slightly less enjoyable.

Guaranteed resentment right there IMO.

'Not slobbing around in pj's all day' is one thing. 'Don't come downstairs until you're fully washed and dressed' is another.

And fwiw I am someone who works mainly from home and gets fully washed and dressed (sometimes even made-up) before I switch on the laptop as it gets me into 'work mode', so I'm not a complete slattern!

But this seems v OTT and controlling to me.

I know I'm more efficient and productive when I'm up and dressed straightwa. One dc gets dressed first thing and then comes down, the other is in pj's and dg. Both are ready to leave for school on time no issues so no rule. Weekends if not rushing to a match, stay in pj's till 11 if they like and then get moving. Forced rules are rarely a good idea, especially if they're causing friction.

If you want tidy hair and no BO then they will have to shower, so not just 5 minutes throwing some joggers on. All seems a bit Stepford to me

Are you Mrs Bucket 💐?

I think it would be better to say no pjs after 10am

But no way I’m getting dressed before coffee or breakfast

Have a nice relaxing breakfast, then go and brush teeth, hair, wash and dress.
Who wants to eat a breakfast that tastes of toothpaste anyway?

Wow that sounds like a fun place to live.
Home should be your safe place, where you can relax and feel comfortable. This rule doesn't feel like it supports that.

Fuck me, absolutely not! If you can’t stew in your own dirt at the weekends, then what even is life.

Nah. I like my coffee before I function. On a weekend the kids get up, have breakfast, lounge around in PJs watching Bluey etc until I decide I better get them dressed if I want to go out.