New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

[Beautifulbouquet]

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever.

He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to.

His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food.

I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

He has no money. Bye bye

That's not veganism, that's paranoia...
I'm vegan too and dining out is a huge pleasure for me. I couldn't date someone who doesn't enjoy the ambiance of a restaurant .

Cold tofu sandwiches.

OP, i have read all your replies. I think he may have a degree of neurodivergence, which can be hard work. Or he could just be a knob. Either way, he sounds like he's getting much more than he's giving to this set-up. Plus, if his kitchen is unhygienic, I wouldn't be wanting to consider him long term, as in a sharing a house dynamic. You'll end up cleaning up after him.

Oh mine is like that but for different reasons. He doesn’t see the point in going out and spending money when he can cook better at home (tbf he is an excellent cook) but I explained you don’t necessarily go out for good food, it’s the change of scene and the atmosphere or trying something you might not try at home. We compromised but it doesn’t sound like there’s a compromise here! Unless you signed up to the hermit lifestyle and it’s a lifestyle you’d enjoy then get rid. Not wanting to go out with you isn’t too many leaps away from also not wanting you to go out without him

This is not an allergy but a preference. So why the issue with contamination? Sounds obsessive. Has he sought help for this?

I would suggest moving in before you fall for him. Personally, life is too short

I was invited to a “BBQ” hosted by a vegan.
An acquaintance from our community allotment.

He just put potatoes into a fire.
Not wrapped in foil, no toppings or accompaniments, no plates, cutlery!

He didn’t know how to look after himself, socially clueless, had no money, was always on the scrounge for women to feed him biscuits and crisps!

I’m sure if he had money he’d be mean!

A real prince

I meant moving ON, not IN

Hey so we met up.

I feel really sad.

I can't really explain it. He turned up with a four pack of Fosters so I didn't tell him about the Fosters.

He said swings made him sick but he sat on one for a bit. I sat on a swing but my feet didn't touch the ground so I couldn't swing. It was all pathetic.

I guess we've split up but the conversation isn't very clear to me. He just didn't make any effort so it didn't really seem necessary. I tried to talk. I just feel sad and like he doesn't even seem to like me. I think the important thing to him is just to be able to keep living his life how he wants.

Thanks to everyone for such kindness xx

Sounds like way too much hard work and angst. But you’re not going to just tell him and walk away, so whatever.

This is really unnecessary drama after 4 weeks!.

Urgh no thanks!

Fosters isn't vegan in the UK, but is in other countries (eg in Australia) so that might explain why he thought it was fine to drink. I think you should tell him sometime (but in a nice, non-mean way).

Please don't be too sad. I think this is more a reflection on him than you. Reading between the lines I think he's got a fair few issues, but you can't solve them for him, he has to do that.

My advice is to look forward not back. Keep dating and don't settle for anyone less than someone who makes you delieriously happy.

Blimey, what attracted you to him in the first place? He sounds hi maintenance and zero fun!

of course you could.
He'd just have to go for a walk while you have lunch.
Added bonus, you can have a glass of wine, he can drive 😂

sounds miserable - I don't think I'd bother

He doesn't have a car or a license

I'm going off at a tangent, but how can beer NOT be vegan ?

Thanks. I'm quite upset I don't know why really x But I'll bounce back. I'm actually gonna start a Thai and a Greek cupboard

Don’t you mean ((( Ex ))) Boyfriend… IMO You should!!!!

He turned up at the park with a four pack of Fosters.

Oh honey, no. It's for the best.

I’m confused Op.

I thought you were going to let it fizzle anyway because of his silly ways, so how come you’re talking about him not liking you and you being sad.

He sounds like too hard work so I would just get on with your like safe in the knowledge that you can go out for dinner whenever and wherever you want

Oh, I'm sorry you're a bit sad. That's normal. Having sex w/ a man can rev up your oxytocin and make you want to love him more than you should. It will dissipate soon and you'll feel better in no time.

I honestly feel this is what happened.