To think punctuality is a sign of basic respect?

[CoralCrab]

I’ve always believed that being on time is one of the simplest ways to show respect for other people. If I make plans, I do everything I can to be there when I said I would - so I find it really frustrating when others don’t do the same.

I get that things happen - traffic, delays, life - but when someone is consistently late, it feels like they just don’t care. Like their time is more valuable than mine.

I’ve had friends show up 30+ minutes late to dinner without even apologising, colleagues who breeze into meetings 10 minutes after they start, and even dates who seem to think ‘fashionably late’ is a personality trait.

AIBu to think that punctuality isn’t just about being on time but about basic consideration for others? Or am I just being too uptight about it?

No you don’t have to chill and just accept it. I went home.

Imagine telling someone to tap into their coping skills to facilitate someone who can’t be bothered to get there on time 😂

Nah bin them.

I’m always late to the airport, stress myself out doing it. but aim to be there 2 hours before so I haven’t miss flight

I will, as I have said, often arrive 10 or 15 minutes after the time I've said I'll meet friends or arrive at their house. Sometimes I'll arrive at the time we mentioned and they'll be there 10 or 15 minutes after. It's all fine. No-one stresses over it.

That's fine, if that's what this person means to you.

I needed tickets to get in and the other poster needed tickets to get in, you know, like most concerts.

Yes, it is fine. They showed me what I mean to them time after time. Easy decision.

neuro diverse people struggle with time keeping

@MasterBeth "Chilling about it is one (successful) strategy, I have found."

glad that works for you

what I find works really well, especially good on chilling out about it, is not to be friends with chronically late people. Also don't be friends with the type who are shocked to need extra time for security checks on bags and don't get that you won't get in the theatre door without your ticket.

that way, you can have a drink and relax. Yay!

And also struggle with poor time keeping from other people!

Ha ha this! Well said.

I presume, as you put it, 'blind' people manage to be ontime I would presume it is rude to think they can't

But if people are late and using 'I can't help it' can still communicate and let people know that they have to constantly be late

Being always late is rude not matter what excuse you come up with

Ooft there’s a lot of tightly wound folk on this thread.

I agree OP

YANBU

My DH will always be on time for work but socially he is always late. He under estimates his time for things like…”it takes 5 mins to get from A to B”. I reply no you haven’t factored in school kicking out time and actually it’s a 15 min drive. Same thing about getting a train, he doesn’t factor the fact there could be a queue to buy a train ticket and by then the train has been missed. He’s always so apologetic when he arrives and he genuinely means it and gets stressed by it.
I don’t understand why he does this and for work or airport he is always early. To get around things I always have to lie to him that something is earlier then it is so we can be on time like meeting friends or family.
I’m an on time person or maybe 2-3 mins late for work meetings… I hate small talk before meetings so I do it on purpose to avoid it. Maybe this is disrespect in a way.

He doesn’t disrespect anyone it’s just poor time management so I think YABU.

thats because fashionably late’ is a personality trait.

that said ive been on both sides the one being late, then when i made the efforts to those that complained as we were a team , then they were late as and when so it seems some want good times and then do the opposite when it suits

Was just saying exactly this

My boss is perpetually late for meetings, reschedules at the last minute or plain old doesn't show up

Loses all credibility

I feel like there are two “different types”, those who are perpetually running a few minutes late, stressing about it , and those who are extremely late and don’t seem to care . I’ve known someone who was always at least an hour late.

I don't like waiting, whether I am waiting for others or others are waiting for me, it drives me crazy.

@MasterBeth is either completely entitled or willlfully ignorant. Suggesting people are uptight because they arrive at a pre organised time is completely ignorant.

I don’t get annoyed if someone is occasionally 10 minutes late, stuff happens. I’m not a naturally on time person, so I have strategies to make sure I arrive on time.

Clocks exist for a reason, and unless someone says “let’s meet at 7pm-ish, or 7pm give or take”, then I would expect both parties to arrive at the prearranged time. If someone is persistently late it does suggest that they think their time is more valuable than mine. It’s all well and good saying just chill in a cafe for 10 minutes, but what if I could have used that 10 minutes to do a bit more work, or spend it with my kids, or do some life admin at home. Maybe that 10 minutes means nothing to you, but to someone else it is valuable and it’s disrespectful and selfish to so obviously disregard that.

As a teacher I get really frustrated with children being late often. It’s not fair on the children and the parents always have some reason why they’re late and they’re the same ones who turn up late everyday! I’d hate for my child to feel so unimportant that I can’t be bothered to pick them up on time.

I agree.

Some people genuinely struggle to work out how to be punctual. They underestimate the time required but their intention is good. One of my staff is terrible at time management but she’s a hard worker. She has ADHD. Late for work but also stays late. Ongoing problem trying to support her. She’s late socially too. She’ll likely be late for her own funeral. She’s so bright and her attention to detail is next level but she can’t get timings right. Ever. Researchers refer to these people as ‘time benders’.

I’m with you, I find it very rude and have taught my kids that being early is better than being late.

Agree - big black mark both at work and play

This, absolutely.

You should have told them a different time then. How unreasonable, they arrived on time.