DP wants to end relationship over misunderstanding with waitress

[Butterfly75756]

Went out for a meal with DP and all was going well. That was, until the mains arrived, and DP was adamant he had ordered his meal without mushrooms, yet his food had arrived containing them. A bit of a back and forth started between him and the waitress, who was saying DP definitely didn't ask for no mushrooms.

DP then turns to me and says something along the lines of, "Tell her I ordered no mushrooms". I immediately felt embarrassed and mumbled, "I can't remember". I hate confrontation and I genuinely couldn't remember.

The waitress eventually took the food back to go and fix the apparent mistake and DP was absolutely fuming saying even if I couldn't remember, I should have lied and said that I did and he kept repeating "Don't you know I don't like mushrooms?" After about 20 mins of being in a strop, he said that he would now have to reconsider the relationship as he doesn't want to be with someone who 'doesn't have his back'

Like the emotional wreck that I am, I began crying at the table and he told me to stop because I was embarrassing him.

So my question is, was I wrong to say I couldn't remember or should I have lied?

He's a man-baby and a bully.
He didn't apologize for making you cry he "told you to stop"
This is awful behavior and won't get better with time, it can only get worse.

😆

And that it’s ok to lie, which they won’t just lie to you about the waitress, it’ll be all sorts of things..

Liars are liars in all areas.

Children raised to lie, will lie in every eventuality.

LOL! 😆

I cba to keep arguing on this thread about my family values but honestly most of you really sound like you hate men. There’s no way of a single one of you know that the man never asked for no mushrooms. He is perfectly in his rights to bring this up with the waitress and she absolutely should not be arguing with a customer. The OP should have given her DP the benefit of the doubt. I hope you all get a good f*ck soon cos you all sound like you need it to be honest 😂 I’m not replying anymore, cry about it.

Are you dating Tim from MAFSAUS?

You genuinely couldn't remember a short conversation from five minutes ago? Aren't you concerned about that? That would bother me more than any of the other things.

So he tried to bully the waitress, but when you didn’t back him up he turned and bullied you instead.

Well, it’s hardly modelling to DC lying is wrong, is it? I’d imagine it’d become like water off a duck’s back and they wouldn’t give a damn about lying or consider potential consequences of it, regardless of who the lie is told to. Also, many a loyal woman who has put her family above all else, even to her detriment, has had the dirty done on her by her husband and been betrayed - and the other way round too of course.

I’m not sure lying for him even if he’s in the wrong is quite the endearing quality you think it is tbh. There’s loyalty then there’s being a pushover who won’t call out when someone is wrong. I know which one I’d find more attractive in my husband.

Your family has no values, you advocate lying and admit that.

Shameful.

I don’t hate men, but I do hate liars.

Backing a lying man is no badge of honour.

Oh we need a fuck to be honest, are you quite ok?

I'm a vegetarian and have had to send back plenty of dishes back which arrive with meat that I can't eat. I would however never act like the OPs partner.

OPs issue is about a controlling partner who is essentially acting like a prick-its not about the mushrooms.

Unfortunately you don't sound like you have any values and feel sad for you that lying is your family values!

Andrew Tate, is that you??

Exactly!

But men like that do live among us, their wives explain it by “for better or worse” or I give hime the “benefit of the doubt” don’t they @MumWifeOther

Omg no you are not in the wrong! No decent person will ever make you lie to a waitress just to prove a point, what a baby he is! He ruined the evening, he should be grovelling not threatening to end the relationship! He could have dealt with this completely politely and calmly with the waitress and left you out of it. Absolute jerk.

First post, classic and hits the spot! 🤩

The DP was acting like a dick. There is a way of behaving without trying to belittle his partner and the waitress

First,I think your partners reaction was out of order. Second, I think the waitress was wrong in arguing with a customer in front of other guests. She should have quietly walked away with the plate & asked the chef to remove them. Thirdly,I have to be honest if my DH asked me if I heard him saying no mushrooms I would have said yes. Knowing he hates mushrooms I would have assumed he said it the same way as DH knows I always say no coriander. If I see coriander on my plate it's like a red rag to a bull so no doubt he felt stressed although he shouldn't have taken it out on you.

I hope he has calmed down & you can sort it out. If not then it's about far more than mushrooms & it's not meant to be.

Wow! this is certainly not somebody i would consider spending ther rest of my life with. If he can go into a mental breakdown over mushrooms and want to dump you what will happen when life throws real challenges at him? Throw him back. He's a man child.

Agree definite red flags op, he doesn’t sound very nice.

I would reconsider being in a relationship with someone who berates wait staff, over reacts and makes me cry.

Ironically those of us who wouldn’t lie for our husband’s “must hate men” but we then have this second old chestnut from the misogynists’ playbook: ah yes, silly me, I must need to be ‘fucked’ and this is why I’m being so uptight about being a wet wipe lying for my DH and teaching my DC this is totally normal and in fact virtuous behaviour.

He sounds awful.

He's certainly got mushroom for improvement...

Lol, you took my line.

You have better morels.

(I'll stop, but wishing you well, OP).