AIBU - Friend has 'stolen' party idea

[Homer28]

Hi,
As a family we often go to an adventure centre/party place around 75 mins drive from our home town so not local and never been invited to a party there before. Last year we did a party there at the centres waterpark for my daughters 10th birthday.

This same venue, which throws excellent parties and has lots of party options from bowling to waterpark etc and also has an aerial assault course but it has an age/height limit. My daughter has said for a couple of years that when everyone is 10/11+ she will do a party there as its cool/scary.

This year in December (party isn't until June) she asked if she could have her party there in June. Her dad was concerned that in theory its a brilliant day out but that people may be afraid of the heights/parents may be hesitant and it could not be as exciting as shes thinks.
I text another parent of two of her friends for a second opinion and she thought it was a cool idea (wasn't aware this existed) and her kids would love to go!.

Cue this month when she tells me she is booking this for her daughters party in April. I gently suggested that the two girls having the same party might be an issue as its important at 10 to have the 'cool' party and they like to put an individual stamp on it and the parties will only be 8 weeks apart. She disagrees and thinks a party venue is open to all kids who wish to have their parties there.

I was pre empting the upset from my 10 year old who laments that shell be chastised by the class for 'copying' the first birthday girl and it takes the shine off her idea which has been brewing for a while.

AIBU to be annoyed?

YABU - You don't own a party idea!
YANBU - Its not cool to hear an idea from a friend and pip them to the post on it.

its important at 10 to have the 'cool' party and they like to put an individual stamp on it

Really don't agree with this, I'm sure most 10 year olds are just happy to have a party with their friends - that's the important part, not the venue.

Before her except for the party OP hosted for daughters birthday at this location last year..? Does OP have some monopoly on this location?

I think it's your response to the other Mum that makes YU.

I think some people would be annoyed (I possibly would), but to actually say that it's important to have the cool party???

Will it be all the same kids?

Also they are a couple of months apart so I'm sure they'd still enjoy both.

We started a trend for sleepovers as a party.

Cheapest & easiest we ever did.

How times change!

Decided to teach OP a lesson by doing something that would upset a 10 year old child? I mean, it's not so bad if the other mum just thought it sounded fun, but to suggest that she did it to deliberately hurt others - do people think like that? Do you think like that? How horribly unkind.

This ! I live rurally and parties at Primary used to be in one of three places, depending on age. Everyone happy to go to the same place, my dds never said anything along the lines of “oh not place X again” ! It’s a party, they will be 9/10. They will have a great time and some cake.

Eeek I'm a bit embarrassed for you.

Mind you, I live rurally and the options for kids parties are very slim.

I think I've probably been to parties at each venue about 15-20 times 😬

Sorry Op just read through your posts again & see that it's pretty much all the same kids.

Add on a sleepover??😉

OP, your birthday party plans are now dead in the water.
You will have to top this, maybe a weekend at Disneyland Paris might save face? Your DD needs to get her bragging rights back.
😉😁😁.

I was pre empting the upset from my 10 year old who laments that shell be chastised by the class for 'copying' the first birthday girl

pahahaha - 10 year olds "chastise each other"??! And your child is "lamenting" this?

Having had 3 10 year old girls in my parental life - I can only howl at this 😂

If it is so good then the kids would probably love to have two parties there.

I live in London and we have loads of party options. Most of us still stuck to the same few easy options. There was no oneupmanship going on. The kids were just happy to be playing together.

At ten our kids were young still. No phones, makeup, brands etc, and very plittle awareness of ‘cool’. Maybe they and their peers were an anomaly?

As parents, most of us were secure enough not to feel threatened by this nonsense, and brought our kids up the same way. No pettiness or competitiveness passed down to the children.

I understand why you’re a bit irked. Of course no-one owns a party but it’s still annoying when someone blatantly copies an idea. For that reason, I never tell my party ideas to anyone. Got a great one for this year but not mentioning it to a soul 🤐

This is MN you’ll be told you’re ridiculous.

In real life - yes a 10 yr old would be upset at this & understandably so!
Id let your 10 yr old book and tell everyone the date before the other kids invites go out. Then he she tell them all they copied her!

Some parents here really really need to get a life.

This seems very deliberate and I'd be a little pissed off. It was a very specific party that she only booked because you mentioned it to her. However, there's nothing really you can do without looking slightly crazy so I'd just speak to your DD and see whether she'd want to go ahead or book something else.

If it's that big a deal then take her to laser tag instead, I loved laser tag.
Mmm laser tag.

I wouldn't be impressed either in the circumstances you describe and I definitely wouldn't have done that as the 'other' mum. I would take it that the other mum thought about things in a fundamentally different way (and were were likely to stay mum acquaintances rather than great friends)...but wouldn't have said anything. Horse has already bolted.

I guess all you can do is learn from it - I would be a bit annoyed with myself for telling the other mum but there was always a chance she would've discovered it anyway with the same outcome.

Hopefully your DD is just briefly mildly disappointed (if she is bothered at all) and it no affect on her party enjoyment - with a side of practising how to cope with disappointment that helps her with resilience.

Come off it! You can't possibly be serious OP.

I think both can go twice, but I would have factored in the risk of someone else booking it first before asking for opinions. You have to consider that everyone is hunting for ideas.

Suggest to DD that she think about some other options. If this is climbing and it's out, then what about a different bouldering site, or potholing, caving, kayaking, paddle boarding, a weekend camping trip with hiking etc etc. There are so many fun things that age can get up to!

YABU - we had a party at a local venue a few weeks later another parent text to say her kid enjoyed it so much they had booked for their party. My son was happy they got to go twice you are seriously overthinking this

This.
A 10 year old should be happy with having a party and celebrating with their friends.
I think you should help your daughter to understand what is really important about celebrations.
Also, what is cool for her, it might not be cool for others plus it shouldn't be a competition of who is having the best party.

You've been a good sport on this post OP, often people are not.

Hopefully your daughter isn't disappointed. If she likes going there then I'm sure she'll enjoy her friends party too.

A fucking psychopath you say ….. 🤔

Teeny bit of sympathy for the OP's situation (but not for her attitude!) because it's sort of a shame - but honestly this is being massively overthought! If it's that cool a venue, the April party will be so much fun, all the kids who go will be desperate to go again and lucky them, they get to do that just 8 weeks later! Yay! Win win! They will also have tried out the things on offer and worked out what they really want to concentrate on this time. Look at the first party as a 'warm up'.

There are very few original ideas and this is not one of them, but if it's a good idea, it does not need to be original. Birthday and other parties presumably make up quite a large percentage of this venue's business.