AIBU to not want to take SC on this holiday?

[MeanOrJustified]

I’ve won an all-inclusive beach holiday for two adults and two children. DH and I have a toddler and he has a DD, 12 and two DS, 8 and 11. Nice kids but the older two fight a lot and the youngest is quite demanding and prone to wanting his own way, and sulking when he doesn’t get it. They are active and will hate a beach holiday and it’s generally not very relaxing to be around them.

We haven’t been on a foreign holiday since before our toddler was born. Used to do lots, always with SC, but DH was made redundant when I was pregnant and is now in a lower paid role and we can only afford UK breaks until either one of us gets a better job or our child is in school. If we hadn’t won it, we wouldn’t be going on a foreign holiday. We had plans for ten days’ camping with SC which we’ll still do.

DH thinks we should ask to pay to extend the holiday to a larger family room so SC can come, and put the two extra flights on a credit card. I don’t want to. AIBU?

So basically, you are supporting a cocklodger and his children. Does make me wonder why you want to save the marriage.

The OP has already said the children’s mother brings the child(ren) she has with her new partner on holiday but not the three children she has with with the OP’s DH.

I've never heard of kids who won't enjoy a beach holiday.

Definitely your decision, but I feel sad for them.

No doubt @adviceneeded1990 routinely coughs up for the neighbours kids to go on camping holidays, funds a home for them to stay in a percentage of the time and pays off all their parents debts too! Maybe the solution is for the family unit to move in next to her, alleviate the financial burden on OP a bit.

I am getting ‘wicked stepmother’ vibes especially from the updates 😒

I'm not.

Their own mum presumably isn’t taking another child with her on holiday?

Oh yes she is. She's going with new partner and their joint children, and leaving the older ones with OP:

From one of the OP's posts... Actually she has two younger children with her new partner and they all go together, leaving SC with us.

Presumably you think this is fine right?

Presumably you think this is fine right?

I'm not judging it one way or the other. I am replying factually to a poster who presumed that the mother wasn't going on holiday with other DCs and leaving OP's SCs behind. She was wrong.

I'm amazed at the whipping OP is getting here.

If OP's DH was on £100k a year presumably the kids have had foreign holidays in the past. This isn't a "once in a lifetime trip"

OP, you won the competition which makes it different entirely. Your DH can't afford the extra flights for his own children (perhaps he could if he reduced the payments to what they should be under CMS but he, positively, won't). So they CAN'T go because HE can't afford it

You could let dad and his three go on the holiday abroad, and you take the toddler on a different holiday out of school time (which would be more affordable, toddler could sit on your lap on the plane perhaps?)

Toddler won't appreciate being abroad. The three older kids will. I have 2 very active kids aged 9 and 11 and they're desperate to go abroad.

😂😂😂😂 WTF

OP - I would honestly cut your losses. Look at what your marriage is costing you, literally and figuratively. Is it really worth it?

What a load of nonsense 🤣
So op should give up a trip that she won on which she can spend with her own child, to the dh and his 3 kids?! Can't make this nonsense up really.

Perhaps she could supply the spending money as well because clearly the Op working 60 hour weeks doesn't deserve a holiday

Anything other than allow OP to actually enjoy the much needed (free) break, whuch she won, which she will appreciate, then? 🤯

Handing over the holiday to DH and his kids really would be taking martyrdom to new heights.

OP's OH:

I have been out of work for 18 months and my wife has been paying for everything, including our home and the camping trip we've planned for us, our DD and my children from my first marriage. We would usually go on a trip abroad but we can't afford that as I am unemployed so wife is already working 60 hours to cover all our family's costs.

My wife has won a free holiday abroad for 2 adults and 2 children.

I have told her that she needs to use her credit card to pay for a room upgrade and flights for my children so they can join us on the trip.

AIBU?

The other mum will be on here tomorrow, saying my kids' dad is going on a flash holiday and leaving our kids behind so he can play happy families with his new wife and child.

And everyone will moan about how shit dads are and the ex-wife always gets left with the responsibility, expense and the effort of caring for their kids

Have you been sniffing diesel?

OP's DC doesn't have a broken home. They won't have the same anxieties and insecurities (especially not at the age of 2).

Good joke

Have you read the thread? OP is already working 60 hours a week and needs a break.

Which is all well and good if the SC’s mum takes OP’s child on holiday with them. If not, then it’s really not the same is it ?

Yet. If I was in the OP’s shoes I would divorce him immediately.

I have two step parents. I do think there’s truth in the bio parents lacking boundaries, one-upping or undermining each other, or they go on to have more kids / less time - it’s confusing for the children when the divorced parents aren’t on the same page. Sometimes it is the step-parents, having an outside perspective, to say “hang on a minute”.

This ^
I think YABU, and a lot of your OP sounds like excuses as to why you don't want to take your SC. If I were him, I wouldn't go on this holiday if I cannot take the rest of my children.

🤣🤣🤣