Upset at not being able to lose weight

[BelloItalia]

Im 45 this year. Never had a problem with my weight before and whenever it crept up I’d just go on a bit of loose diet and it would fall off again.
Since I turned 40 I’m no longer able to lose weight. I’m now 11 stone which isn’t massively overweight but 10st is ideal for me. I just can’t get there.
Mir doesn’t seem to matter what I eat, the weight won’t shift. I’ve tried slimming world, low carb, calorie counting, intermittent fasting - nothing works. I’ll drop a couple of pounds then it will come back again. It’s actually making me quite upset. All my clothes are too tight, I spend so much time meal planning I feel like it’s all I ever think about.

AIBU to think there must be a way to get back to 10st?? I’m not menopausal

I love this. This is where the mindset of women needs to shift to, away from this constant battle against aging and our own bodies.
I'm working to adopt this mentality too, after years of self loathing at my aging, hormonal body.

Up your protein as much as possibke. Look.up Sindy Bond (fat loss coach) on facebook. She talks sense.

Do you not drink anything? I know you’ve said no alcohol but there must be some liquid. It’s generally calories, we kid ourselves about what we eat. Not saying what you are eating is a load of calories as we need a lot less than we think.

I think you need to look honestly at your diet over a week.

Posters always put up a menu of what they eat 'most days' but I would bet that there is an element of wishful thinking and are for those days when they are sticking to sensible eating, and not the days when they've had a couple of biscuits, a few glasses of wine and bags of nuts on an evening out, that starbucks latte with syrups and cream and so on.

There is lots of information and opinions about hormones and insulin and eating more or less carbs or protein or whatever, but for the majority of the population it is just about consistently eating fewer calories. It's not necessarily easy and we'd all love a zero effort quick fix.

@MagpiePi are you in peri menopause or menopause? I cannot remember the last time I had wine or a Starbucks latte.

Thanks for all the comments. To answer a few questions -

Im 5ft 10in. Ok I know that doesn’t make me fat but I know myself how I feel and I’ve always been 10st. At 11st I feel heavy and fat.

I walk every day for an hour (dog) around 8000 steps a day (I work from home and it’s sedentary)

I don’t drink and fizzy drinks other than sparkling water. I do drink coffee with semi skimmed milk (around 5 mugs a day)

teetotal

ferritin deficiency.

had two blood tests for peri-menopause - both clear

Sounds like you lead a healthy lifestyle. I do think it's natural hormonal changes leading to weight gain. It's no coincidence that many women put on weight in their 40s. I've heard blood tests for perimenopause aren't very helpful as oestrogen levels can fluctuate from hour to hour. I'm 50 and I can tell my oestrogen levels are all over the places. Some days high and some days low (trust me I can tell when they're high, if you know what I'm saying). Most women will be perimenopausal by 45.

It's OK to want to lose some weight when you're not 'officially' overweight. When you've sat comfortably at a certain weight (give or take) all your adult life, it's alarmed to see it go the wrong way when you've not changed your lifestyle.

I am post menopause now (huzzah!) and have noticed that the fluctuations (change in body shape, aches and pains, sweats) are settling and I feel less out of sorts.

Is there other more vigorous exercise you enjoy? Swimming, cycling?

Why is my life stage relevant?

I was just trying to think of examples of things that people might conveniently forget about when considering their diet.

edited to add:I’m well into perimenopause but recently lost quite a bit of weight by being really strict about not eating all those odd things that individually aren’t many calories individually but can add up over time. It’s not easy!

Oh, it's relevant. I was a size 8 before menopause and could eat anything I wanted. Lack of or declining oestrogen makes a difference. Unless you have gone through it, it's hard to see how much.

It's not just hormones.
Loss of muscle mass due to ageing.
Slower metabolism due to ageing.
Change in lifestyle/sport habits due to ageing.

I welcome the wider awareness of menopause symptoms, but I don't want to swing too far and put everything that happens to women after the age of 35 or 40 down to hormones.

Sure. That too. My point is it's not just about diet or Starbucks lattes.

Personally I am far more active in my 50s than in my 20s. I did zero exercise in my 20s and 30s.

Absolutely true!! Tell me about it, I say menopause has taken my memory and my waist !!!

Same.

I’d happily be overweight again to get my brain cells back.

I’m mortified by how bad my brain power has deteriorated, especially in the work place. I get paid to be a specialist in my sector.

I can barely remember my name some days.

Op I am the same, taller (6ft) not overweight, healthy bmi, but over-my-old-weight.
5 years later, now 50, fit and strong from my mid-life exercise regime, and i've replaced all my clothes as i didnt enjoy the lifestyle necessary to fit into them. After years of eating what i like i'm not about to change.
I quite like my new shape tbh!

God, the memory shit is awful. My husband has just mentioned a car we once owned that I have literally no memory of.

Today I couldn’t remember that Holland is called the Netherlands.

One of my team had to tell me 😳

@chipsticksmammy Holland is a region on the Netherlands it’s not the entirety of the Netherlands .. I know because I forgot too a while ago and had to look it up

Thats kind of what I was trying to use as the example I was talking about with my team.

UK v GB, Holland v The Nederlands.

Instead I just lost my train of thought and couldn’t even remember the correct word 😂

My team thankfully know I used to be a smart confident person, now I just over heat and forget how to finish a sentence.

@chipsticksmammy I can fully empathise and I overheat and struggle with my kids own names !