Upset at not being able to lose weight

[BelloItalia]

Im 45 this year. Never had a problem with my weight before and whenever it crept up I’d just go on a bit of loose diet and it would fall off again.
Since I turned 40 I’m no longer able to lose weight. I’m now 11 stone which isn’t massively overweight but 10st is ideal for me. I just can’t get there.
Mir doesn’t seem to matter what I eat, the weight won’t shift. I’ve tried slimming world, low carb, calorie counting, intermittent fasting - nothing works. I’ll drop a couple of pounds then it will come back again. It’s actually making me quite upset. All my clothes are too tight, I spend so much time meal planning I feel like it’s all I ever think about.

AIBU to think there must be a way to get back to 10st?? I’m not menopausal

This is true. I’ve lost two stone and I barely moved a muscle all that time.
(yes, I know that’s not very good)

I'm 11 stone, 5 foot 7. I don't think I would qualify for Mounjaro

Walnuts are extremely nutritious and have lots of health benefits. I wouldn't want to be on any eating plan that cuts out healthy foods like that. I'm 50 and maintain my weight whilst eating calorific but nutritious foods like seeds, nuts, avocados, cheese, olive oil etc.

Unnecessary? How many more do you suggest that OP cuts back?

You do start piling on weight in your 40s. I lost 3 stone on mounjaro and can only keep it off by strict calorie counting. As another poster said you are eating 1000 calories just for breakfast.
Or you could try slimming world. I always lost weight there.

No she isn't, she's stated that the 250g of walnuts was a typo

No, some people find they gain weight as they get older.

I assume 125g of walnuts is a typo, because they would have 820calories so your breakfast has 1000 calories; sauteed cabbage, is that in oil/butter - why not steamed or with a green salad? Even a low calorie chicken curry has around 400cals, so (typos aside), I’d say you aren’t reducing your calories enough because that looks around 1800 calories which is the recommended daily intake for an average female to maintain weight, not lose it.

IME not losing weight tends to be in part about not accurately counting calries, so I’d use a fitness/calorie app for 2 weeks to be sure this has been ruled out; then I’d add exercise (weight training as we lose muscle mass in our 40s and 50s so our basal metabolic rate drops). If that doesn’t help - I’d get your thyroid checked?

Comes to under 700 calories. Not including any curry sauce etc

Yes here we can see why people claim that they barely eat and can't see why they are not losing weight. A regular portion of homemade chicken curry, especially if made with cream or coconut milk, can easily be 700 kcal itself. (Just as comparison, one portion of Wagamama chicken curry is 1160 kcal). Weigh how much you normally take and don't forget the second serving, most people will take way more than what is counted as "one portion".

Nothing unhealhty about the foods OP has listed, but it is entirely possible to eat too much energy also when only consuming healthy wholefoods.

and yes it was a TYPO. op meant 25 grams of WALNUTS.

Your body needs a fuel source. this will be either carbs or fat.

If yourencitting down on both, it will he difficult.

Your body needs a certain amount fo fuel to maintain basic functioning - movement, digestion, respiration, repair etc. If you are not providing enough fuel, it will just become more efficient at using what it does have.

That's why people find that, even on vlc diets, their weightloss wil stall.

Eg if you lower your carb intake, you have to increase healthy fats. Some people try to do low fat and low carb and that doesn't work.

Yes, the sauces are a killer. Much better to keep food very simple in terms of ingredients when you are dieting - stir fry (stir steam as my DH calls it) some chicken and veg in a non stick pan, no oil, and add spices, water and a stock cube for example so you know exactly what every ingredient is; grilled chicken and a salad, low fat yog and fruit for breakfast. It is so easy to add 2-300 calories a day without realising. I lost 6st recently and the dawning realisation that it really was down to portion sizes, the higher cal ingredients etc made me feel like such a fool.

If there’s nothing wrong with you medically then it’s purely about calories in vs calories out. Set yourself a target of maybe 3 months and log every single thing you eat, down to milk in your tea, oil in your cooking etc. down to the gram. Things add up very quickly! Then work out your BMR and be honest with how many calories you burn from exercise. If you have a fitness watch then remember they’re not entirely accurate. The Apple Watch is estimated to be about 95% accurate, so even then you need to add a buffer to your daily calorie burn. If you don’t have a fitness watch then you can use online tools to estimate calories burned from walking for example based on your height and weight. If you’re healthy then 99% of cases it is purely down to calories.

Curry- there really is no such thing- does not require cream, coconut milk or ghee. That is the crap served in Indian restaurants that passes as Indian food.
Regular Indian food can be very low calorie.

I hear you, OP! It's very frustrating. I'm getting to the point where I'm thinking I may as well have cake every day because I'm the same weight whether I do or whether I don't! Defeatist and not very helpful, I know!

I’ve always been led to believe this but a few months ago I increased my running and quite a lot of weight has come off without changes to diet. I’m definitely preferring it than dieting!

So many people responding w/o even reading OP's posts. Annoying.

Anyway, OP has not said how tall she is. I'm 5'8" and 11 stone would not be overweight for me, and a lot of the advice here is very poor.
OP has said it's not massively overweight, so any talk of jabs isn't helpful.

It seems she is generally eating well. We don't know about what exercise she's doing.

Yes I am 5'7 and 11 stone..Don't qualify for jabs weight wise. May in the future, ethnicity wise.

I think the misconception comes from people thinking their exercise has burned off way more calories than it actually does. We've all seen the SM posts where someone says they've done a 4 mile run or 20 mile bike ride, and the responses are "you've earned that roast dinner, cream cake and glass of wine".

Running uses calories. It's good for you. It will help you lose weight. You will feel amazing.

Yeah I think that’s it. I upped the running and didn’t eat any extra. It doesn’t make me feel any more hungry than I used to feel to be honest, so that part was easy. So it’s working well for me.

Are you having "cheat days"? You need to average everything out over the week, no point in eating 2000 calories a day during the week if you eat double that over the weekend for example (not saying that you are)

Also sugary drinks, diet sodas, etc will all contribute even if you drink no alcohol.

Totally agree - a "curry" I would make at home would not have "sauce" added and wouldn't be full of cream, ghee or coconut milk.

The thing I was going to add is - growing up in a Hindu community, many many people did a weekly fast of some sort. Ostensibly for religious reasons but I think it's also great for weight management.

It's really hard to monitor/weigh/count calories for every morsel you eat and I honestly think fasting a day a week is easier.

@Lentilweaver I can only give you my anecdotal evidence. Whenever I was on the pill and now when I was on HRT, even if I was in a calorie deficit I just didn't lose weight. Came off HRT in Dec/January and the weight started coming off a few weeks ago and has carried on FINALLY. I'm doing nothing different. The year I was on HRT I couldn't lose a pound. So frustrating. I think it impacts some people but not everyone.

Low carb, hi protein, drink at least 3ltrs water a day, get up and get in your 10000 steps - even if this is round the house or the supermarket!

Cut out the nuts.

Take some measurements with a tape measure and track your progress. Depending on your height/weight - go onto a calorie calculator and find out what you should be eating for a deficit.

What i've found the best thing was to buy a fitbit! I got fitbit premium free for 6 months and it's an eye opener, confirming your steps but also seeing how much energy has been burned, how you have slept, you can log your food and water intake, it monitors your heart rate, it shows when you have been more active, when you've had actual exercise - there is a lot on it and it's really helped me understand how calories work and other stuff

Indian food made at home is actually the exact thing Tim Spector is peddling as Zoe: 30 veg a week with an infinite number of seeds, pulses, fermented foods and no UPF. Hindu fasting is the same thing peddled by Michael Mosley.🤔

Been doing 16:8 with no great effect. Thinking of 5:2 now but seems harder.