Upset at not being able to lose weight

[BelloItalia]

Im 45 this year. Never had a problem with my weight before and whenever it crept up I’d just go on a bit of loose diet and it would fall off again.
Since I turned 40 I’m no longer able to lose weight. I’m now 11 stone which isn’t massively overweight but 10st is ideal for me. I just can’t get there.
Mir doesn’t seem to matter what I eat, the weight won’t shift. I’ve tried slimming world, low carb, calorie counting, intermittent fasting - nothing works. I’ll drop a couple of pounds then it will come back again. It’s actually making me quite upset. All my clothes are too tight, I spend so much time meal planning I feel like it’s all I ever think about.

AIBU to think there must be a way to get back to 10st?? I’m not menopausal

Absolutely!

I don't think 16:8 is really fasting TBH it's just skipping breakfast which a lot of people do.

I did two one meal a day fasts twice a week to drop some weight and now do one a week. It's actually exactly the same as what my mum used to do when she was my age.

I don't count calories for the fast days, just eat a normal sensible meal

i wish I was 11 stone 😩 In my 40s and at my heaviest ever at 14 stone (5 ft 7) and really struggling to shift it. I did slimming world years ago and was just under 10 stone but over the years the weight piled back on.
I’m following a high protein, low carb with natural fat diet with strength exercise and being more active this time. It’s a slower process but I’m feeling so much healthier already since cutting out sugar and processed foods.
I just think my metabolism has been affected by my up/down weight over the years and hormones are probably at play too 😬

Have you done your TDEE ( Total Daily Energy Expenditure)?

Work that out, rigoursly calorie count ( and weigh everything), to lose 1 pound/ week, you need to cut 7, 500 calories in that one week, from your TDEE

Sorry if that's already been mentioned.

Loosing weight is just calories in v calories out (you can’t beat the science). Some will say you aren’t loosing due to hormones. Wrong - you aren’t burning what you are eating.

My tips would be (having lost 31lb in 18 weeks 3 years ago and I’ve kept the weight off):

Log absolutely everything you eat & drink. You will be amazed at how the small ‘snack’ adds up.

Stop drinking alcohol - it’s just empty calories and you will likely eat crap when you’ve had a drink.

Cook everything from scratch. Ready meals / jars of sauce are full of salt & sugar.

The most important one - add in resistance (weight) training into your exercise. As we age our muscle mass decreases. I now do Body Pump 3 x per week and am n the best shape now I have ever been.

To loose the weight and keep it off you need to make changes & stick to them. If you keep doing the same thing, you’ll get the same results. Good luck 🤞

I feel ya OP - I’m desperate to lose myself !!

I would recommend this -

FAST 800

weights every other day and at least 49 mins of cardio every other day - be it running /spin class etc etc

2 litres of water a day. Good luck !

It'll be due to peri menopause. Average age for peri-menopause starting is 43.

Yes, but we don't know what exactly OP means by 'chicken curry'

I'm 53 and still got a stone to lose but I've lost a stone by eating low ish carb, high ish protein and sticking 1500 calories . I do Pilates every day before it starts . I don't drink and I avoid sugar. If I drop the carbs too much I can't function and feel very weak . I also don't eat between 5am and 6.30am. Used to intermittent fasting but it stopped working and made me feel rubbish and I began to put on weight ( bc I was eating too much when I broke my fast)

5pm and 6.30am

Walnuts are healthy in moderation, rich in iron, magnesium, vitamin B6. They’re not empty calories. Honestly I would rather be a bit overweight and well nourished than be slim owing to following a restrictive diet that is poor in essential nutrients.

Those of you who lift and are post 50, how long does it take to show results? I have been lifting since January. No effect on the tummy or weight. Will continue though as I know its good for me.
I think diet works more than exercise for me. If I am very stressed/sad and forget to eat weight comes off ( so I guess this means I need far fewer calories).

I’m the same age and the same has happened to me, after being slim my whole life. My body shape has changed too as I was a pear with flat stomach but my middle has increased.

I'm on HRT but it’s not that as I suffered with peri symptoms for a few years before seeking help last year; the weight went on in the year or so before I started HRT.

I walk everywhere as I don’t drive and I exercise most days on top of that; strength training, HIIT (I do Caroline Girvan and other workouts at home). I used to run but it made no difference and I didn’t enjoy it.

I don’t drink alcohol at all. I’m vegetarian.

I don’t eat breakfast. I rarely snack. I have two meals, one being soup without bread! Then a normal dinner with my family. I don’t have milk in my drinks - I drink green tea and redbush.

I still eat carbs for dinner though i.e pasta - I’m guessing I’m going to have to cut those out!

re a PP shocked at going low calorie - some of us can’t eat the recommended calories without putting on weight. I wish I could eat 1500-2000 calories a day!

I’m low in ferritin which might not be helping.

Can I just ask about your Hindu fasting and what it entails? I only ask because my in-laws are Hindus and fast two days a week. However, and I don't mean to disparage my in-laws (!), but their idea of fasting is very different to mine. What they do is not eat meat, fish or eggs and tend not to eat proper meals but they eat lots of snacks. My MIL just feasts on nuts, crisps and Bombay mix all day. Occasionally she'll have a hot meal like dhal and rice. I think that on her fasting days she actually eats more calories than on her non-fasting days!
I've always been curious as to whether this is how all Hindus fast or it's just my in-laws. No disrespect intended, I'm just really interested.

Heh heh I would love to fast like that!

No offence taken.
I am not really a practicing Hindu and am deeply irreligious so did not grow up fasting.I am veggie anyway. Those people who do fast in my family eat mostly vegetables , daal and buttermilk on Tuesdays. You are right that rice adds calories but I now eat rice maybe once or twice a week.

Ah I see, so they do eat during their fasting days but restrict what they eat. Thanks for responding.

Hi OP.

The advice you're receiving is like we haven't moved on from the 1990s!

You need to think less about weight and more about composition! 40s are the time for building muscle to absorb glucose and keep you slim but, more importantly, healthy. Just from your sample menu, you actually need to eat more and include more protein and plants. The women with the best bodies focus on composition not weight - fat is light compared to muscle. Try pilates for lovely long lean muscles and weights for fat burning and sculpting into the figure you would like to have.

You may like to look into the advice of Dr Amy Shah (she's had free advice on Instagram) as she focuses on WOMEN (not generic advice based on research carried out using men decades ago). Her basic advice is 30g protein at breakfast, 30g fibre a day, 3 portions of a probiotic food a day, and weights!

You've got a good baseline and are clearly disciplined so don't think I need to wish you good luck.

It really varies. The fasting types in my bit of the Hindu community -

Only fruit
One meal in a day but it can be anything
Nothing except water
Fruit and buttermilk/yoghurt

Thank you, that's very different to my in-laws. I realise India is a huge place with a lot of variation between different communities.

I've had to stop reading these comments as they are driving me mad! You need fats to absorb nutrients! Do people not have a clue about antioxidants and polyphenols?! Not to mention having some pleasure in life!

I agree, telling people not to eat oils and healthy fats like walnuts is ridiculous.

You say its not menopause but there is a good chance it could be. I have had health struggles for a year, im only 41 so it hadnt clicked in my head but finally did a few months back and they did bloods and sure enough my hormones have changed and its looking to be peri.

One of the first things I noticed funny enough, was what was losing me weight previously, following exactly the same plan, was no longer working. In 6 months I had lost a few pounds and I have a fair bit to lose.

Honestly its never as simple as that, people just like a simplified version. It always is about hormones and insulin control. You can eat more than your recommended calories and lose weight if your insulin is under control. The medical industry know this (how many times has a type 1 diabetic been discovered due to having excessive weight loss but eating more than enough...its down to insulin).

But I agree that its a huge factor and one ive certainly noticed, I noticed the struggle to lose weight before any other peri symptoms.

I think it's good not to let excess weight creep up, because it really does post meno, no doubt about it. Your clothes are your measure, not the scales IMV.

However, life is for living too and as long as clothes fit, you are able to exercise and don't suffer any illnesses that could cause abnormal weight gain, then if you WANT to you can keep it in check.

Like others I noticed weight gain during and after Covid lockdowns. Didn't care for a long while after, and then I did because nothing fitted properly and I was so flippin sluggish and puffed out when trying to exercise (just walking nothing else).

So I tried the 16/8 fasting thing. For five days and normal mealtimes for 2 days a week. Honestly it is amazing how easy it is to keep to. It makes me very disciplined and when I stop eating on fast days at 7pm I can say hand on heart that I just do not feel hungry after that. I find it easier to stick to the eating times rather than counting calories every day, although I don't overdo it, I am careful about rubbish food but not so much the portions of good food, I am sitting here with a cup of black coffee with cinnamon, and I feel zero hunger. It's been 15 hours since I last ate, and I cannot understand why, but I'm not and that'll do me until breakfast in about an hour!

I don't use it to lose weight, but to maintain a healthy weight. I'm 67 now and walk every day and garden etc. No joint or other issues thankfully and I want to keep it that way for as long as possible!

There are different 'levels' of fasting. Some are quite strict, some less so. I think @SallyWD's in-laws have their own unique spin!

Yes, I’m under 5ft, a size 16/18 and my BMI was 35+